


All or Nothing

by DestielWS



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental wetting, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Human, Barebacking, Bottom Cas, Bottom Dean, Castiel and Mental Health Issues, Clothed Wetting, Coming Out, Depressed Castiel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Kinks, M/M, Masturbation, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Religious Castiel, Religious Content, Rough Sex, Sam Masturbates, Self-Hatred, Shower Sex, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Cas, Top Dean, Top Sam, Valentine's Day, Voyeurism, Watersports, Wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-09-22 21:57:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 42,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9627212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielWS/pseuds/DestielWS
Summary: Living in a happy polyamorous threesome, Sam, Dean, and Cas lead rather mundane and simple lives. In all facets. But Dean's tired of a boring and mundane sex life. He asks if Sam and Cas are interested in any Kinks or Fetishes or anything to change things, but Cas is too embarrassed to talk about these things, so with the use of a helpful website for helping couples find their kinks, Dean works with Cas to get him to find out what he and Dean and he and Sam have in common in hopes of spicing up their sex life. Though, all three end up with a surprise when Cas ends up being the kinkiest of all three.This fic was originally planned for Valentine's Day timing, but due to unavoidable issues was postponed until now. The in-fic timeline is still around Valentine's Day, though.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This got a bit more plot-based than intended, but that tends to happen quite a bit with me. Enjoy some commentary on religion, religious abuse, religious obsession, and mental health issues linked to religious abuse. This whole fic may have hit a bit close to home for me unintentionally.

“Hey guys?” Dean said, sitting on the bed and pushing his glasses up on top of his head as he looked up at the two men in front of him. 

 

Sam and Cas were both in the same closet getting ready for bed, Sam giggling and saying things that were making Cas blush. 

 

Three years ago, Dean and Cas began dating. Dean was hesitant about committing from the first date though, and Cas understood, so Dean began dating Sam on the side. As time passed, Dean became more settled in with Cas and offered to become exclusive and commit to him, but Cas let the two of them continuing seeing each other, stating he took solace in the notion that he wasn’t all Dean would have and that there would be someone else if he wasn’t ever able to be there for him. Eventually, Cas wanted to meet Sam, to see what the other man his boyfriend loved was like. Dean felt it was a bad idea, but Cas insisted. The three of them had dinner together, but Sam quickly became uncomfortable when Dean was physically affectionate towards Cas in front of him. So Dean gave Sam the same treatment, and it ended up with the three of them ending that night in the same bed. Sam, Dean, and Cas got together a few more times and then had sex a few more times and over the course of knowing each other, Sam and Cas became friends. When it got to the point where Cas wanted Dean to move in with him, Dean was hesitant and unsure. Cas asked if it was because of Sam and Dean insisted that wasn’t the case, but Cas told him that he knows how much Sam means to him and he wouldn’t mind if Dean wanted to bring Sam along, too. Dean thought about it and then talked about it, and considering they all enjoyed each other’s presence, decided to try it. Everything went great until a few months in, Sam said he’d fallen in love with Cas, but neither Cas nor Dean had a problem with that and they ended up here and now. On a Tuesday evening, about to have a conversation that Sam and Cas were both unexacting. 

 

“Yeah?” Sam replied, pulling away from Cas and turning around, Cas turning with him. 

 

“Does sex ever feel…I don’t know…boring to you guys?” he asked. 

 

“Uh-uh.” Cas shook his head and made a humming sound. 

 

“Not at all,” Sam stated. 

 

“Oh.” Dean laughed awkwardly. “Not at all? Nothing?” 

 

Cas and Sam both shook their heads. 

 

“Well, I kinda do,” Dean said. “And I was thinking maybe we could try some kinks or something different?” 

 

“I don’t even think about things like that, and you damn well I don’t discuss them,” Cas replied. “So I am not having this conversation.” 

 

“Have you ever even  _tried_ anything?” Dean asked. 

 

“No,” Cas answered. “Normal sex is as kinky as I get."

 

“Then you can’t know for sure that you’re not into anything,” Dean said.

 

“Well, I have no interest in finding out, either,” Cas argued. 

 

“Listen,” Dean sighed. “I know you were sheltered and your parents were freaky religious, but that is no reason you can’t talk about these things like adults. It drives me crazy, Cas.”

 

“I can talk about these things like an adult perfectly fine with Sam, because there’s no conversation to be held,” Cas replied. 

 

“Come on, Cas,” Sam said. “If Dean wants to have this conversation, all of us should be involved. That means you.”

 

“No, no, I don’t want to,” Cas grumbled. “These things make me uncomfortable. And I’m not doing it.” 

 

Dean fell back on the bed and groaned staring up at the ceiling. “I should have just dumped you and stuck with Sam.” 

 

“Rude,” Cas muttered. 

 

“Not to me, it isn’t” Sam teased. 

 

“I’ll figure something out,” Dean stated. “We are going to have this conversation. One way or another, Cas.” 

 

“I don’t think so,” Cas said, walking over and getting on the bed, laying next to Dean and hugging his arm. “I think you’ll realize you don’t need me to be a freak to love me.” 

* * *

“I got it!” Dean exclaimed. “Guys, come here!” 

 

Two sets of heavy foot-steps pounded up the stairs and then Cas and Sam entered the room. 

 

“What’d you got?” Cas asked. “Or…get?”

 

“The mouse?” Sam gasped. 

 

“What mouse?” Dean replied. “Do we have a mouse?” 

 

Sam and Cas looked at each other. 

 

“Do you guys tell me anything?” Dean scoffed. “At all?”

 

“We try,” Sam replied. 

 

Dean rolled his eyes and gestured them to come here. “Guys, look at this website I found.” 

 

“What is it?” Cas asked, crawling onto the bed next to Dean. 

 

Dean pushed his glasses on top of his head so he could see Cas and then looked back at the computer screen. “Fuck,” he muttered, pushing them back down again so he could read. “Alright see, it’s a website that both of us enter in what we’re into, and it only shows us the kinks and fetishes we have in common.” 

 

“Let me see!” Sam exclaimed, pulling the laptop towards him. “Huh, neat.” 

 

“That way, you wouldn’t have to deal with any awkward discussions and you wouldn’t have to worry about liking something that we wouldn’t like,” Dean explained. 

 

“No.” Cas shook his head. “Still not doing it.” 

 

“Cas,” Dean groaned. “Come on. It’s the easiest solution. You don’t have to do anything but click a few buttons.” 

 

“No, I don’t want to. I don’t do things like that,” Cas replied. 

 

“Cas, please?” Dean begged. “Just look at the questions. Just, come on?” 

 

“Fine,” Cas huffed, taking the laptop in front of him. He made a thoughtful humming noise and clicked the mouse a few times. “Dean, I don’t know any of these.” 

 

“Like what?” Dean asked. 

 

“Shaving each other? Does that mean like actual shaving hair?” Cas asked. 

 

Dean nodded. 

 

“Who the fuck would do that?” Sam laughed. 

 

“Not me,” Cas stated. “But I mean, what’s a 69?” 

 

“Oh no,” Dean groaned. “What about the next part?” 

 

“Biting? Roleplay rape? Spanking? What the fuck?” Cas replied. “All of these are…wild.” 

 

“Okay, so obviously you need to be taught some things…” Dean muttered. 

 

“I’ll do this stupid questionnaire with you, but, I have to research first. I don’t know what any of these things really entail,” Cas said. 

 

“You mean watch porn,” Sam sneered. 

 

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Dean stated. “Maybe we should all go through the list on here, and go make ourselves more familiar and more sex knowledgable,” 

 

“You two just want an excuse to watch porn,” Sam giggled. 

 

“I don’t like porn. I was raised better than to watch it. This will be strictly educational,” Cas replied. 

 

“I think you’ll find it’s not as bad as you think,” Dean said. “I mean the amateur stuff isn’t as bad at least. Professional is kind of over dramatic.” 

 

“Thanks for the advice,” Cas huffed, looking away. 

* * *

“This is embarrassing,” Cas grumbled, staring at the laptop screen. 

 

“It’s not embarrassing,” Dean argued. “It is an anonymous questionnaire because discussing sex with the people you have sex with is too much for you.”

 

Cas scrolled down the screen a little and back up. “Alright, I’ll suck it up.” 

 

“Good,” Dean replied, nudging him the shoulder. 

 

“No, don’t look!” Cas pulled the laptop in the opposite direction and Dean groaned. 

 

“I’m not trying to peek, Cas.” Dean smiled at him sympathetically. 

 

Cas slowly began clicking a few times before sighing loudly and looking up at them. “Can I go do this alone?” 

 

“Sure, go ahead,” Dean said. “We’ll wait here.” 

 

“Thank you,” Cas muttered, pulling the laptop off the charger and getting out of the bed. 

 

“I think you’re gonna break our boyfriend,” Sam snickered. 

 

“I think he’ll live,” Dean replied. “He’s just a big baby sometimes.” 

 

“So are you,” Sam retorted. 

 

“Shut up.” 

 

“Make me,” Sam taunted. 

 

“Okay,” Dean said with a large grin, going in to kiss him. 

 

“Well, I wasn’t expecting _that_.” Sam replied. 

 

“You don’t expect a lot of things from me,” Dean purred, pushing Sam down on the bed. 

* * *

“I’m done,” Cas said, coming into the room. “Why are your pants down?”

 

Dean and Sam rolled over to look at him and Cas groaned. 

 

“Seriously? I leave the room for twenty minutes and you guys–” Cas sighed. “–just put your dicks away okay?” 

 

Sam and Dean both laughed and wriggled around on the bed in an effort to get their pants back up. 

 

“Alright, it’s ready for you, Dean,” Cas stated, kneeling on the bed and handing him the laptop. 

 

Cas put his hand down on the bed but shrieked. “Oh God, why is my hand wet? What did I just put my hand in?” 

 

Cas slowly picked it up and looked at it and then whined. “Who’s is this?” 

 

“Dean’s.” Sam replied. 

 

“Gross!” Cas scoffed, wiping it on Dean’s pants. “I just did the fucking laundry!” 

 

“Sorry,” Dean said, holding back laughter, but not the smug grin on his face.

 

“Just do your stupid thing,” Cas grumbled, wiping his hand once more on Dean’s pants. 

 

Once Dean was done with his part, he handed the laptop back to Cas. 

 

“Do we want to print ours and go over it now or wait until you and Sam have yours and go over them all at once?” Dean asked. 

 

“Wait until we have both,” Cas answered. 

 

“Alright. You'll print these and we can leave it on the printer until yours and Sam’s is done,” Dean said. 

 

“Do you need two hours of alone time again to answer or are you good now?” Sam asked. 

 

“I can repeat my answers now that I know them. I’m fine,” Cas replied. “And it was _not_ two hours,” 

 

“Felt like it,” Sam teased. 

 

“Did not. You were too busy fucking to worry about passing time,” Cas muttered, clicking the track-pad quicker than before. 

* * *

“You want to go get the papers, Cas?” 

 

“Aren’t you and Sam going to do it?” Cas replied. 

 

“No,” Dean scoffed. “Sam and I can discuss this like normal people,” 

 

“I’m a normal people,” Cas said. 

 

“You are not a normal people,” Sam stated, putting his hand on Cas’s shoulder. “But hey, we don’t want you to be one anyways.” 

 

“So you want to get the papers?” Dean asked. 

 

“You can,” Cas stated. “I trust you not to peek.” 

 

“Good, because I don’t know if I trust _you_ not to peek,” Dean countered, standing up off the bed. “Be right back.” 

 

Dean returned a few minutes later with a stack of paper and a highlighter. “Alright, Sam, Cas, why don’t you two go first? You have a shorter stack.” 

 

Dean pulled the top couple pieces of paper out and set them in between them. “And here’s something to mark with.” 

 

Sam picked up the papers and looked at them. “Not much on here, really.” 

 

“Really?” Cas asked, taking them out of his hand. “Yeah…there’s not.” 

 

“You almost seem disappointed,” Dean mused, fanning himself with the other papers. “What’s actually on there?” 

 

“Nothing of grave oddity,” Castiel replied. 

 

Dean took the papers and looked at them. “Massages, foreplay, lots of stuff you already do, yeah wow. And Sam’s lukewarm about most of this apparently.” 

 

“Well, we’re also both completely satisfy with our sex life so there’s nothing we need to change,” Sam stated. “Right, Cas?” 

 

Cas nodded and smiled at him. “If only Dean could be the same way.” 

 

“Sorry if I find doing the same exact thing every week boring,” Dean drawled, grabbing the highlighter. “Now let’s have a look here.” 

 

“No, I want to see,” Cas said, leaning back over towards Dean and looking over his shoulder. 

 

“Lap dances, nice,” Dean hummed, highlighting the words on the page. “God, you want to film us?” 

 

“For memory’s sake?” Cas replied. 

 

“Scrapbook your porn shots?” Sam asked. “That sounds cute and sentimental.” 

 

“Oh shut up, Sam,” Dean groaned, turning back to the paper. “You’re mean, Cas! You want to call me names!” 

 

“Hey don’t make fun of me,” Cas pouted. 

 

“You know I love you. Even if you want to come all over my face and - OH MY GOD - you want to slap me?” Dean scoffed. 

 

“You said you’d do it if I were interested,” Cas said. “Right there!”

 

“I know, but now that I’m actually thinking about it…” Dean muttered. “No, no, I already said I’d do it.” 

 

“You want me to spank you,” Cas giggled. 

 

“You two are fucked up,” Sam scoffed. “I didn’t expect this out of either of you, Jesus.” 

 

“Get off your high horse,” Dean groaned, kicking him in the leg. “So what if Cas wants to parade me around on a leash and bite each other?” 

 

“Bite each other?” Sam laughed. “Cas are you eating enough in the day?” 

 

“Stop kinkshaming me!” Cas protested. “The paper says not to judge!” 

 

“Don’t worry, baby,” Dean cooed. “I won’t like mean old Sam judge you for wanting me to body worship you and be submissive and have you deny my orgasms,” 

 

Sam giggled next to both of them and Cas glared at him. 

 

“This is awkward enough for me, Sam,” Cas sighed. 

 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll be quiet,” Sam said, leaning over and hugging him. “Do you still love me?” 

 

“Yes,” Cas replied, kissing him on the lips. 

 

“As much as you love the idea of spanking Dean?” Sam asked. 

 

“Sam!” Cas yelled, hitting him in the arm repeatedly. 

 

“Okay, I deserved that,” Sam muttered, scooting back away from him. 

 

“You want to grope me in public and fuck me at work,” Dean laughed. “You weirdo.” 

 

“You still had to agree to it.” Cas argued. 

 

“Fair, but you’re the one who wants all this stuff,” Dean said, highlighting some more on the paper. “Oh my goodness.” 

 

“What?” Cas asked. 

 

“I can’t believe we both said yes to peeing on each other,” Dean whispered. 

 

“You _what_?!” Sam exclaimed. “I’m leaving both of you!” 

 

“No you’re not,” Dean said, pulling Sam towards them.

 

“What is wrong with both of you?” Sam asked. “Pee?” 

 

“Hey, we can’t help what we like,” Dean replied. “It’s not as bad as it sounds.” 

 

“That sounds like you’re speaking from experience. Please tell me you’re not speaking from experience,” Sam groaned. 

 

“Then, I’ll just sit quietly,” Dean said. 

 

“You two can go have as much weird freaky sex as you want, but feel free to leave me far, far away from it,” Sam stated. 

 

“Yeah well guess who’s gonna have a better sex life now? Me. And Cas. Not you.” Dean argued, sticking his tongue out. 

 

“At least I don’t want to get spanked and bite people,” Sam retorted. 

 

“And poor you,” Dean replied. 

 

“While you two argue about this I’m ready to hide in a hole,” Cas muttered, pulling his knees up. 

 

“Why are you so embarrassed about all of this oh my God, Cas,” Dean groaned, grabbing him by the shoulder and pulling him sideways so he was laying in his lap. 

 

“You know why,” Cas sighed. 

 

“You’ll get over it someday,” Dean chuckled, stroking his hair. “You will.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the delay. Life got crazy, but I'm back and writing and everything has been fixed, so I'm here to continue and finish this!

“Hey, Dean!” Cas called, grunting has he pulled an edge of the couch. “Can you come help me with this?” 

“Be right there!” Dean replied. Cas swore under his breath as he pulled the couch some more. 

“What do you need?” Dean asked, stepping into the room. 

“I need you to help move the other side of this couch,” Cas said. “I dropped my pills and one rolled under there and I can’t find it with my hand.” 

“Maybe, that’s why you should stop carrying your pills around the house and just take them in the kitchen?” Dean mused, approaching him from behind and hugging his waist. 

Cas leaned back into him and put his hands on top of Dean’s. “I was just coming in here to get my soda to take them with.” 

“And you should have left them on the counter while you did that,” Dean said. “You always drop them when you start carrying them around.” 

“But if I was already going to be in here with my soda, no point in making myself go all the way back into the kitchen to take them,” Cas argued. 

Dean rested his chin on Cas’s shoulder and kissed his cheek. “Stop being a lazy ass.” 

“I’m not lazy,” Cas said. “I’m just trying to be efficient.” 

“Is dropping your pills under the couch efficient?” Dean asked. 

“That wasn’t part of the plan,” Cas muttered. 

“With how much you drop them, it should have been,” Dean retorted, backing away from Cas and going around to the other side of the couch. 

Dean grabbed his side of the couch and waited for Cas to get himself situated properly on the other side. 

“Count of three,” Dean said, adjusting his grip. “One, two, three.” 

The two of them pushed hard against the couch, but the wooden legs of the couch refused to slide against the coarse carpeting and it tipped backward, Cas immediately yelping. 

“Dean, Dean, Dean!” he cried. “Move the couch! Move the couch!” 

Dean ran over to Cas and saw his food lodged under the back part of the couch. Dean grabbed the edge and lifted it best he could so Cas could get his foot out. 

“Thanks,” Cas grumbled, wincing as he wiggled his toes. 

“And see, that’s why don’t drop your pills under the couch!” Dean groaned, grabbing Cas’s foot. “Can you move everything?” 

“Dean, my foot isn’t broken,” Cas stated. 

“You sure?” Dean asked, messing with his toes a little. 

“It hurts horribly, but it’s not broken, no,” Cas replied. 

“Dumbass,” Dean snorted, standing up and going over to the coffee table. “There’s your pills, though.” 

Dean picked up Cas’s glass of soda and took a sip, waiting for Cas to pick two of his pills off the ground where the couch was. 

“They’re covered in dust and…some kind of crumbs. I don’t want to take these,” Cas groaned. 

“I don’t care. You need your medicine, Cas,” Dean said, shaking the glass of soda in his hand. 

“Fine,” Cas huffed, taking the glass and picking the rest of the pills off table. He took a swig of soda and then dropped the pills into his mouth. “There, happy?” 

“Very,” Dean hummed, taking the soda out of his hand and finishing it. 

“Now, let’s get this couch back up,” Cas grumbled, kicking the side of it and then whining in pain.

“Don’t kick the couch,” Dean sighed, wrapping his arm around Cas’s shoulder. “The couch didn’t ask to fall on you. It didn’t choose this life.” 

“Neither did I,” Cas stated. 

“Yes, you did,” Dean taunted, turning Cas to face him. “You chose to be with me. And with Sam. And to live together. You wanted all of this.” 

“I miss Sam,” Cas pouted. 

Dean scoffed at him and rolled his eyes. “He left like an hour ago. He will be back tonight. He’s ten minutes away, he’s not dead.” 

“I still miss him,” Cas stated. 

“And I’m sure he misses you, too,” Dean said. “Sam deserves a night off from us, though.” 

“We’re not that bad,” Cas replied. 

“We don’t have to be. He has friends, too. Would you want to spend every night at home with us for the rest of your life?” Dean asked. 

“Yes,” Cas answered. 

“Of course you would,” Dean sighed. “Well, most people want friends other than the two men they live with.” 

“Why?” Cas laughed. “You two are great.” 

“God, we need to get you friends,” Dean said. 

“I have friends. You guys,” Cas replied. “Besides, it’s almost Valentine’s Day. This is supposed to be a time of love and love and…love,” 

“Just because it’s near Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean Sam isn’t allowed to have a guy’s night out,” Dean stated, grabbing Cas by the hips. “You want me to take your mind off him though?” 

“I won’t tell you no,” Cas said. 

Dean grinned at him and kissed him on the lips gently. “You know, tonight would be a good night to try something _new_.”

Cas groaned. “No.”

“Come on,” Dean pleaded, taking out his phone. “It’s stuff we’re both into already. Or at least open to. I think it’ll be good for you.”

“You put it on your phone?” Cas scoffed.

“Yeah.”

“Why?” Cas asked. “What if someone sees?”

“It’s password protected,” Dean said. “You know I keep my phone locked at all times.”

Cas glared at him and Dean held up the screen for Cas to look at. “Lots to choose from. Where do you think would be a good place to start?”

Cas sighed and looked back at him again.

“Pick one, Cas,” Dean drawled.

“Well, I really was interested in–” Cas paused and lowered the volume of his voice. “–collaring you, but we don’t have that stuff here.”

“We’ll have to get some sometime then,” Dean mused. “What about–” Dean glanced down at the screen for a moment. “–oh! We both seem pretty into in _golden showers_.”

“I suppose,” Cas replied. “Fairly straight forward, but there’s just so much on this list. It’s a bit overwhelming.”

“Overwhelming?” Dean laughed. “That’s your own fault. You’re into just about everything.”

“Sue me,” Cas said. “Why don’t you go upstairs and I’ll meet you up there?”

“Why? What are you going to do?” Dean asked.

“Getting wine,” Cas stated.

“What for?”

“We need something to drink, don’t we?” Cas replied.

“Oh,” Dean gasped, stunned by the fact that Cas just said okay and went along with it. But again, Cas wanted this, too.

Dean went into the bedroom and waited for Cas to return with the wine. He thought for a moment about the logistics of what they’d both agreed to do and realized there was a fundamental flaw in their logic.

When Cas came into the room, Dean had a stack of towels on the bed and was laying them out individually over the blankets.

“What are you doing?” Cas asked, holding two wine glasses and a bottle of wine.

“Well, the bed needs some sort of protection doesn’t it?” Dean replied.

“The bed?” Cas raised his eyebrows at Dean. “You want to do this on the bed?”

“Where else do you have sex?” Dean countered.

“The table, the counter, the basement, the car, the bathroom, the floor, th–”

“I get the point,” Dean sneered.

“I figured the bathroom or the shower though,” Cas said, handing Dean a glass from his hand. “Easiest clean-up.”

“The bathroom just doesn’t have the same intimacy though,” Dean argued.

“You want me to erotically pee on you and you’re complaining about the bathroom not being intimate enough of a location?” Cas scoffed.

“Hey, if you’re insinuating that erotically peeing on people isn’t intimate, you’re wrong,” Dean said.

“Would you know that for a fact?” Cas asked.

“I might,” Dean replied.

Cas smirked at him and sat on the edge of the bed on one of the towels. “Fine, we can put towels all over this thing, but if the towels don’t work, I’m not cleaning up.”

“That’s fine,” Dean stated. “The towels will work.”

Cas set his glass down on the end table, setting the bottle of wine down with it. Dean looked over and watched as he began unbuttoning his shirt.

“Whatcha doing?” Dean purred, leaning back towards him.

“I’m taking my shirt off. What does it look like I’m doing?” Cas replied.

“Well, just that,” Dean said. “But why?”

“Do you have a problem?”

“No, no, not at all.” Dean shook his head. “Just curious. We’re not to that part quite yet.”

“It’s warm in here and I want to be comfortable,” Cas explained.

“Want me to put the fan on?” Dean asked. “I turned it off so it wouldn’t blow the towels around, but I think they’re heavy enough that it won’t be a problem.”

“I’ll turn it on,” Cas said, getting up and unbuckling his pants as he went over to the wall to flick the switch and start the fan going again.

Cas dropped his pants down to the floor and Dean whistled at him. “Still hot?”

“Yes,” Cas replied, leaving his shirt hanging open and getting back on the bed.

“I think that’s the last towel,” Dean stated, stepping back from the bed and making sure all the visible spots were covered. “Pour me some wine.”

“Please,” Cas added, looking over at him.

“Pour me some wine, _please_ ,” Dean sighed, handing him the glass he took. “What are you, my mother?”

“No, obviously not,” Cas replied, uncorking the bottle and pouring it into the glass and then handing it back to Dean. Cas poured himself a bit more full of a glass and then set the bottle back off to the side.

Cas took a few sips and got comfortable on the bed, Dean sitting next to him and drinking from his.

“So are you excited?” Dean asked. “To try something fun?”

Cas looked over at him and then drank his whole glass of wine.

“Why not?” Dean replied, snorting at Cas as he reached for the bottle again.

“I’m nervous,” Cas said. “And uncomfortable.”

“Why?” Dean asked.

“You know why,” Cas sighed, drinking some more of the wine.

Dean looked at him and Cas groaned.

“Do you know how hard it is for me to wake up every morning?” Cas said. “I was raised believing that sex was between one man and one woman. It’s gentle, missionary style sex with the lights out where you both have to be quiet so you don’t wake the damn kids.”

“Come on, even straight people know that’s bullshit,” Dean replied.

“I know, but it’s what I was raised to believe,” Cas stated. “It’s what I still believe…”

Cas sighed and stared down into his wine.

“So, every morning I wake up in a bed with two men. Not my wife, but two individual men. The fact I exist is a protest to my own beliefs, even if I know they’re archaic and unreasonable. I wake up and live a life that feels inherently wrong to me, Dean,” Cas stated. “And I hate it.”

Dean took Cas’s hand in his own and laced their fingers together, leaning over onto Cas’s shoulder.

“The further and further I go from standard sex, I feel like the further and further I go from God,” Cas said. “I’m already gay, and I’m already fucking two other men, and our sex feels nothing like a holy expression of love between us and between God.”

“Cas, you know I don’t believe in God, but if he were to exist, I highly doubt he would care that you suck dick like it’s your second religion,” Dean retorted. “Maybe God should mind his own sexual business.”

“In the church when we became old enough to start feeling…urges, they would teach us about sex. Obviously, the big thing is that you only have sex with the opposite sex. That, and that you only have sex after marriage,” Cas explained. “But they also teach you that having sex and showing your wife that you love her is another way of showing God that you love him. It’s supposed to be a holy act.”

“But if you’re not supposed to have sex with the opposite sex, how are you supposed to fuck God at the same time you fuck your wife?” Dean asked.

“Come on, Dean,” Cas groaned. “You know what I mean.”

“I do,” Dean sighed. “But as your wife, I must say, I did not consent to sleeping with an old bearded dude in a bathrobe he probably got from Sam’s Club.”

Cas laughed and looked over at Dean smiling. “Screw you, Dean.”

“Seriously, Cas,” Dean said, putting his face close to Cas’s and looking at him in the eyes. “You’re not hurting anyone. You believe in helping others, you show mercy and forgiveness, you have faith and you trust people. Lord knows, you’ve definitely inconvenienced Sam and I with your dedication to your church and your beliefs. That’s what matters. It doesn’t matter who you have sex with, how many of us there are, or how kinky we like it. God’s not going to judge you by that.”

“Thanks,” Cas whispered, letting Dean lean in and kiss him.

“I love you,” Dean said, pulling away.

Cas smiled at him and nodded. “I love you, too.”

“Pour me another?” Dean asked.

Cas took the bottle back and filled Dean’s glass up to the top.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Dean chuckled.

“No, just trying to save myself time before having to refill it again. I gave you two glasses in one,” Cas said.

“I can see that,” Dean mused, being careful to drink enough down so it wasn’t at risk of spilling onto the towel and bed.

“Does Sam like me?” Cas asked.

“What?” Dean laughed.

“Does he like me?” Cas repeated.

“Our Sam?” Dean scoffed.

Cas nodded. “I know he says he loves me, but…”

“Cas,” Dean sighed. “You’re serious?”

Cas nodded again.

“Hon, he loves the fuck out of you,” Dean said. “You and him have a lot more in common than either of you have with me.”

“Common doesn’t mean love,” Cas stated.

“He loves you, Cas,” Dean replied. “He’s never stopped loving you since he first fell for you. He’s loved you since before you loved him and I’m certain he always will. Why don’t you think he likes you?”

“I don’t know,” Cas muttered. “I just worry about both of you. Why would you want to be with me? I’m a mess.”

“Yes, you are,” Dean stated. “You are a complete fucking mess.”

“I assume there’s a second part to that?” Cas asked.

Dean nodded. “We don’t love you despite the fact you’re a mess. We love you because of it. Because we’re both complete fucking messes, too.”

“I’m a lot to deal with though,” Cas replied. “I ask for so much and I always need things and I drop my pills under the couch every week an–“

“And we wouldn’t have you any other way,” Dean stated, tapping Cas on the nose with his finger. “Besides, if I didn’t love you, would I let you talk about God as foreplay?”

“It’s not foreplay,” Cas protested.

“It’s apparently what you like to do before sex, so I’m calling it foreplay,” Dean teased.

Cas sighed and looked over at him. “I don’t want you to ever leave, okay?”

“Well, that might be awkward when I die and my corpse rots in this house for eternity,” Dean mused.

Cas made a disgusted noise. “And you said me talking about God was bad.”

“I’m never going to leave you,” Dean said. “And neither will Sam.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” Cas replied.

“No, but I do know that if he tries to walk out on you, I’ll hit him in the shin with a baseball bat,” Dean stated.

Cas smiled and raised his eyebrows at him. “Don’t assault my boyfriend.”

“Okay, but only because he’s my boyfriend, too,” Dean said, finishing his glass.

“Another?” Cas offered.

Dean thought on it for a moment. “Yeah, sure.”

“Why the hesitation?” Cas asked.

“I’m not thirsty,” Dean said. “I’m not concerned about getting too drunk to get it on if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Oh, alright,” Cas replied, setting his glass down on the end table next to them and picking up the bottle to drink right out of it.

“That kind of night?” Dean asked.

“I’m not thirsty anymore either, but I want to drink more wine, but I don’t know how much. So here I’m getting the perfect amount now,” Cas explained.

Dean snorted. “Weirdo.”

“Hey, we’ve shared a lot more than spit before,” Cas said, holding the bottle in his lap.

“I don’t care about sharing germs, you nerd,” Dean snickered, setting his empty glass on the bed next to him and taking the bottle from Cas’s lap.

“That kind of night?” Cas mimicked as Dean raised the bottle to his mouth.

Dean laughed at him and nudged him with his knee. Cas took the wine back from Dean and started drinking from the bottle again.

“You’re going to get yourself drunk,” Dean said.

“So?” Cas replied, wiping the purple stain off his upper lip.

“So, then sex won’t be any fun,” Dean stated.

“It would be for me, still.” Cas mused, going for another swig of the wine.

“I think you’ve had enough,” Dean said, grabbing the bottle out of Cas’s hands.

Cas whined and reached for it again, but Dean held it away. “I don’t trust you when you’re drunk.”

Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean.

“Don’t look at me like that. You know what happens when you get wasted,” Dean said.

“Well, it’s fun,” Cas stated.

“Until the hangover next morning. And for the person who has to clean up all the messes and disasters you leave while in your drunken stupor,” Dean argued, leaning over and putting the wine bottle on the stand at the other end of the bed.

Cas started to crawl over Dean but Dean stopped him and put his hand on Cas’s chest.

“If you’re still thirsty, I will get you water,” he said.

Cas sighed and sat in front of him.

“You want water?” Dean asked.

“No,” Cas grumbled.

Dean smiled at him and softly kissed him on the lips. “If you get drunk under my watch, Sam will never leave us alone unchaperoned again.”

“That’s probably true.” Cas nodded in agreement. “Maybe I can be thirsty for something else.”

Cas moved onto Dean’s lap and put his fingers through Dean’s belt loops. Dean laughed at him and put his hands at Cas’s waist. “Since when do you know that definition of thirsty?”

“Netflix,” Cas said.

“Netflix,” Dean replied, chuckling and kissing Cas’s cheek. “You’re adorable.”

Cas started kissing Dean’s neck and Dean pushed him away.

“You’re not ending this whole thing prematurely. Sex is gonna wait,” Dean stated. “You’re not that adorable that I’d let you get away with that.”

“How else are we supposed to pass the time?” Cas asked. “Because I don’t have to pee yet.”

Dean blinked silently. He wasn’t ready to hear that so casually. “Netflix?”

“Ooh! Good idea!” Cas smiled and clamored off Dean. “We can watch Law and Order.”

“Cas,” Dean groaned, watching Cas get off the bed to go get the laptop. “I’m not watching a TV show about people getting raped and murdered before having sex.”

“Oh, good point,” Cas muttered, unplugging the charger and picking the laptop up off the floor.

“How about something happier like a documentary?”

“On what?” Cas asked.

“Fish?” Dean suggested. “Whatever you want.”

“Because nothing says good foreplay like a good old fashioned fish documentary,” Cas retorted.

“Hey, it’s better than rape and murder,” Dean said, Cas getting on the bed next to him and opening up the laptop. “What about that uh–House of Cards! We should catch up on it.”

“That show is so full of murder I am not rewatching it,” Dean said.

Cas sighed as they opened up the Netflix shortcut. “Porn?”

“Yes, because obviously, the best way to pass the time before you have sex is to watch strangers that are sexier than you doing it,” Dean retorted.

“You’re so hard to please, Dean,” Cas stated, waiting for it to load. “What about something not on Netflix?”

“I said no porn,” Dean replied.

“I don’t mean porn,” Cas sighed. “There’s this TV show I’ve been hearing about. It’s not American, but it’s about gay ice skaters.”

“Gay ice skaters?” Dean scoffed.

“It’s happy, it’s not porn, and it’s not about murder,” Cas said.

“Fine,” Dean sighed.

“Sam wouldn’t watch it with me,” Cas stated. “Good thing you will, though.”

“I didn’t agree to watch the whole thing,” Dean replied, watching as Cas opened up a Google search page. “I just agreed to try it.”

“Well, I heard it’s really good,” Cas said. “Gabriel said his wife got him to watch it and by the end he was crying.”

“And you said it was happy?” Dean asked.

“By the end!” Cas amended. “I think.”

“Alright,” Dean grumbled, pulling Cas to sit on his lap half-way. “I’ll do it.”

“I love you,” Cas whispered, leaning up and kissing the side of Dean’s face.

“Yeah, I know you do,” Dean muttered, wrapping his arm around Cas and pulling him against him. “Wait, is this a cartoon?”

“Kindof,” Cas answered.

“Cas,” Dean groaned. “If you told me that–“

“You agreed!” Cas protested.

“I know,” Dean sighed. “Just play the damn thing already.”

Cas pressed the play button and closed out a pop-up ad that appeared.

“Hidden ads,” Dean muttered. “If this show gives us viruses, you’re paying for the computer repairs.”

“We’re not going to get any viruses,” Cas said.

“At least the theme song is cute,” Dean mused. “Oh, hey look, it was written by a guy named Dean.”

“Well, see, that’s a sign this is a good show.” Cas replied, snuggling into Dean’s side. “We should have waited for the towels. I want to get under the blankets.”

“Next time,” Dean said.

“Next time?” Cas raised his eyebrows at his boyfriend.

“Assuming this time goes well,” Dean replied. “I’m thinking positively.”

The opening theme finished and the video cut to a clip of the ice rink with Japanese narration over top.

“Wait a minute,” Dean drawled. “This isn’t even in English!”

“Oh, did I not mention that either?” Cas asked.

Dean groaned loudly and glared at him. “I’m watching Chinese cartoons. Great.”

“Japanese,” Cas stated. “Don’t be racist.”

“I’m not being racist because I can’t tell the difference,” Dean scoffed. “All those languages sound the same.”

“See, that’s racist,” Cas replied.

“That’s not racist!” Dean protested. “I bet they think English, Spanish, and French, all sound the same.”

“I bet they don’t,” Cas said.

“I don’t want to have to read subtitles to watch this thing,” Dean stated.

“Well, too bad,” Cas argued. “Watch it. Love it.”

“I’ll give it three episodes,” Dean replied.

* * *

**Three Episodes Later**

* * *

“For being a shitty anime show like you called it, you seem pretty captivated,” Cas teased, rocking against Dean.

“Okay, you know what, I judged it prematurely okay?” Dean sighed. “But it’s so good. Next episode!”

“Do we have to?” Cas groaned.

“What? I thought you liked it?" Dean asked.

"I do, but I had a bit more wine than you," Cas whispered, putting his lips up close to Dean's ear.

Dean chuckled and looked down at him. "Is that your way of saying you need to pee finally?"

Cas nodded. Dean smiled at him and then shut the laptop. "Go put that away, why don't you?"

"Okay," Cas said, licking his lips and kissing Dean again.

Cas got up from the bed and went to put the laptop back on the charger. He bent over and Dean whistled at him.

Cas looked at him over his shoulder in a less than amused way. “Don’t objectify me.” Dean snickered and bared a grin at him.

The laptop chimed as the power connection restored and Cas got back up. Cas got back on the bed and sat in front of Dean.

“How are we going to do this?”

“I have no fucking clue,” Dean replied. “I didn’t think that far.”

“You asked to do this and you didn’t think that far?” Cas asked.

“I assumed you’d have some idea more than I would,” Dean stated.

“Me?” Cas scoffed. “I’ve never done anything like this in my life, Dean! You’re the one that has!”

“Hey, what some other men like doesn’t mean that’s what you’re going to want,” Dean said. “I’m more flexible on this than you are probably.”

“But are you?” Cas replied, fidgeting with the corner of the towel in between them. “I mean, you know already know what to expect. I have no clue.”

Dean blinked at him. “So….”

“So….” Cas replied.

“I don’t know,” Dean laughed.

Cas smiled. “Me neither.”

“We should have planned,” Dean said, Cas nodding in agreement. Dean sighed and looked at him and then put his hand on the front of Cas’s hip. “Why don’t you go first? You do me.”

“Why me?” Cas asked.

“Well, I was just thinking if you decided you didn’t actually like it in practice, you wouldn’t have to end up covered in it to find out,” Dean replied.

“That makes sense,” Cas stated. “Okay.”

“Well, that was easy,” Dean mused, moving his hand off of Cas.

Cas reached into his briefs and pulled himself out. He just stared, tilting his head after a moment.

“That’s odd,” he breathed.

“What is?” Dean asked.

“I can’t…go,” Cas stated.

“What do you mean?” Dean replied.

“I can’t,” Cas repeated. “My body won’t let me.”

“What do you mean?” Dean scoffed. “It doesn’t work like that.”

“It’s like my body knows that I’m not supposed to pee here,” Cas said.

“I think you’re just psychologically preventing yourself,” Dean stated. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to.”

“No, but I want to!” Cas protested. “I want to.”

“Maybe some part of you just doesn’t?” Dean asked.

“Wait here,” Cas replied, putting his finger in Dean’s face.

Dean leaned back and Cas got off the bed and headed into the bathroom. “What are you doing?”

“You’ll see!” Cas replied, shutting the bathroom door. Dean waited, staring curiously at the bathroom door. After a few seconds, Cas opened it and scurried over to the bed, dick in hand.

“What…” Dean breathed.

Cas smiled and jumped on the bed, pee instantly hitting Dean in the leg.

“There we go,” Dean chuckled, looking up at him.

“This feels so wrong,” Cas said.

Dean laughed at him and leaned forward to kiss him. “It probably is, but that’s okay.”

“Does this ever not feel weird?” Cas asked.

“No, it’s always felt weird to me, but I haven’t had that much experience,” Dean replied, pressing more firmly into Cas.

Dean reached down and shoved Cas’s hand away and placed his own hand on Cas’s cock. He casually stroked it a few times before moving it around,

Cas moaned sensitively and ran his hands down Dean’s chest, but pulled away with surprise as he felt the wet fabric beneath his fingers.

Dean chuckled and Cas pulled away from him.

“Sorry,” Cas whispered. “It’s just weird.”

“That’s okay,” Dean said, Cas slowly replacing his hands where they were. He scrunched up the fabric in his hands, laughing at the squish noise it made. “You giggle when you’re nervous. And slightly drunk.”

“I know,” Cas muttered. Dean flicked his wrist upwards and made Cas hit himself in the chin with pee. “Gross, Dean.”

“I’m horrible and disgusting aren’t I?” Dean asked.

“Utterly,” Cas drawled.

“Are you done?” Dean nodded downward and Cas realized he’d stopped peeing.

“I guess?” Cas replied. “That didn’t seem like much, did it?”

“Dude, look at me,” Dean laughed, moving away from Cas and pulling his shirt away from his skin. “That was enough.”

“I can’t believe _I_ did that,” Cas whispered. “Jeez!”

Dean laughed at him. “Well?”

“That was really weird,” Cas said. “And I feel like I committed a mortal sin.”

“You would, wouldn’t you?” Dean chuckled. “You fill guilty for peeing on trees.”

“They didn’t deserve that!” Cas exclaimed.

“I love you,” Dean snickered, gently kissing Cas’s neck.

Cas took a deep breath and and looked Dean in the eyes, opening his mouth to say something.

“You didn’t like it,” Dean stated.

“No, it’s not that–it’s just that–” Cas sighed and bit his lip.

“You hated it?”

Cas shook his head. “I would do that every night for the rest of my life if I could.”

Dean smiled at him. “Really?”

Cas nodded. “Every night.”

“Even though it’s weird and kinky and makes a mess?” Dean asked.

“Even though it’s weird and kinky and makes a mess,” Cas whispered, leaning in to kiss him again. “That wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.” 

“Do you want to try being on the receiving end?” Dean replied.

Cas let go of Dean’s shirt and exhaled shaky. “Do I?” Cas laid down on his back on top of the towels. “Show me what you got, Dean.”

Dean gave Cas an evil grin and straddled his waist. As he moved, his wet clothes dripped onto Cas, the air-cooled liquid contrasting with how warm Cas’s skin felt.

Dean quickly unzipped his pants and pushed them over his hips. He reached into the flap of his boxers and revealed himself. He laid his cock down on Cas’s stomach where he sat and ran his finger tips on Cas’s hipbones.

“I see what you mean,” Dean muttered. “It _is_ kinda hard to get back into the gist of peeing on people,” Dean mused. “It’s been so long.”

“Four years or so, right?” Cas asked.

“Well depends on if you count yourself as a person or not, but sure four years,” Dean said.

Cas’s eyes widened at the remark.

“I should amend that it’s hard to get back into the gist of peeing on _other_ people,” Dean continued.

“I can see you’re having trouble,” Cas said. “I’m not very golden or showered right now.”

“Listen, you had to run to the bathroom just to get it up, don’t make fun of me,” Dean retorted. “I can feel it. It’s just…there’s a traffic jam or something.”

“I think you’re nervous,” Cas stated.

“I’m not nervous,” Dean protested.

“I think you’re scared that I’m going to change my mind and I’m going to hate it and get mad at you and break up with you and leave with Sam and you’ll be left all alone with nowhere to live and no one to fuck,” Cas replied.

Dean blinked absently at him. “I was mostly just worried about you being uncomfortable, but if you want to make me even more self-conscious and put that idea into my head, go right on ahead.”

“I love you,” Cas stated. “You ruined my sister’s wedding. I still loved you. Sam ruined my mom’s funeral. Still love him.”

“Okay, what happened at Anna’s was not solely my fault,” Dean argued. “You were the noisy one.”

“Oh blame the drunk one,” Cas retorted.

“We were both drunk,” Dean said.

“You were the one who initiated,” Cas replied. “If you weren’t a horny drunk, I wouldn’t have gotten bent over her bathroom sink in the first place.”

“You will blame me any way you can, won’t you?” Dean groaned.

“She didn’t talk to me for two months after that,” Cas said. “It wasn’t because that was how my whole family found out I was gay–it was because she had to see my asshole in the excruciatingly sexual capacity that no sibling should ever see their brother’s asshole–if at all.”

“You should’ve let me bottom then,” Dean stated.

“I did,” Cas argued. “Or did you forget the five minutes before that?”

Dean fell silent.

“Your fault,” Cas replied.

“Like usual,” Dean sighed, gasping slightly as he finally felt the release they were waiting on.

Cas laid back flat and stared up at Dean leaning over above him. Cas was new to this, so Dean didn’t want to do anything crazy. Dean just sat still and stared at him, trying to read his facial expressions.

Cas thought it was an oddly soothing feeling. Sure, it was pee that was slowly pooling on his stomach and chest at the moment, but it was still an extension of Dean. Dean was right about that–it was rather intimate, even if in a different sense than most interactions deemed intimate.

“Kiss me,” Cas begged, lips parted and looking at him.

“Okay,” Dean responded, bending down and pressing their lips together, even though it gave Dean an awkward arch in his back.

Pee, piss, urine, whatever you wanted to call it, it was one of those things that was stereotypically considered dirty and something no one wants to see or know about or get on their skin or their clothes. That made sharing it with someone he loved all the more meaningful. In a sense, he and Dean were both showing each other something dirty and wrong about themselves and the other was embracing it. Just like spit and come, it was just another part of Dean. And the more Cas thought about it, the less wrong he found with the idea. But maybe he was reading too far into it.

As Dean’s pee dripped off the edges of Cas’s chest, it soaked into the shirt he’d left on, albeit unbuttoned.

“This comes out in the wash, right?” Cas asked.

“Usually,” Dean mumbled, continuing to kiss him.

“Define usually?” Cas replied.

“I don’t care,” Dean stated. “Your shirt will be fine.”

“Oh, okay,” Cas muttered. “Good.”

“Middle of sex and all you can think about is how to do the laundry,” Dean whispered. “I should have stuck with Sam.”

“Sam wouldn’t do this with you,” Cas replied, 

“That and I couldn’t imagine my life without you,” Dean said, sitting up and moving off of Cas. He grabbed Cas’s boxer-briefs by the waistband and pulled them down to his ankles. Cas kicked them off the rest of the way and Dean pulled Cas back towards him by his legs.

Dean spit on his two fingers and pushed them inside Cas, just making sure he’d give him enough lubrication. He dipped his fingers in his mouth a few times and put them back in until he was confident that Cas wouldn’t get hurt by anything.

Dean was hard at this point–achingly–and looking at Cas lay there in front of him sprawled out, red-faced, and naked, was not helping.

Dean positioned himself up against Cas and pushed himself all the way in at first go. Cas moaned loudly and Dean bent back over, hungrily kissing him. Dean slid his arms inside of Cas’s shirt but around his back, his slightly awkward way of trying to caress Cas while fucking the living daylights out of him.

Cas cried out loudly as Dean thrust into him over and over, and it felt like there was some disconnect because Dean was kissing him so passionately but everything lower than the waist was fucking him raw.

“Dean, I’m no–ot going to be a–able to walk tomorrow,” Cas said, panting loudly and interrupting his own words with moans.

“Good,” Dean growled, placing his lips at Cas’s neck and sucking at the tender skin.

Dean was usually a gentle and sensual lover. This time, he was not. But Cas was completely okay with that. And used to it, thanks to Sam. But even Sam couldn’t oust Dean when it came to how intense he got when he just wanted sex.

“Jesus, Dean!” Cas moaned, gripping onto Dean’s shoulders. Cas’s legs were splayed open and spread apart, bouncing along Dean’s sides as he fucked him.

Cas came before Dean did in a sound something between a moan, a sob, and a gasp. He was used to coming before Dean though, but with the way Dean was going at him, he thought they might at least hit at the same point.

Dean didn’t realize Cas had came though and kept going. It wasn’t as great for Cas anymore, but it made him happy for him to be causing Dean all this pleasure.

Cas brought his hands down to hold Dean’s face and he moved him back to kissing him on the lips. “Yeah, fuck me, Dean. Fuck me.”

And Dean did, each sharp thrust of his hips rocking the bed against the wall. They had to stick small buffers on the wall at certain points behind the bed because they were getting indented from the bed hitting it so much when the three of them got _really_ into what they were doing.

Dean finally came, but didn’t pull out immediately. He just collapsed onto Cas, gasping for air. Cas made a cooing noise and stroked his hair. Dean snuck his hand in between them and went to finish Cas off but found his job done for him.

“Why are you soft?” Dean asked, lifting his face away from Cas’s. “You already came?”

Cas nodded. “About three minutes ago.”

Dean sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“And ruin your fun?” Cas countered.

“I’m sorry,” Dean whispered. “You should have told me.”

“I didn’t care,” Cas assured him softly kissing his face. “Because I love you.”

“I love you, t–” Dean began, getting interrupted by a pounding at the door.

“Oh, my God, I thought you would never finish!” Sam yelled. “Can I come in without being traumatized?”

Cas and Dean looked around for a moment. They were covered in pee. The towels were. There was a little on the floor. Some got on the end table. There was an open bottle of wine on the other end table. “No!” they both replied.

Sam groaned from outside and Dean got off Cas.

“Go talk to him or something. I’ll clean up,” Dean said. “Like I promised.”

Cas nodded and got up off the bed. He stumbled a little, but walked over to the bedroom door and opened it just enough to see Sam.

"What are you doing home?" Cas asked.

"Well, I wasn't feeling well so I took an early departure and came home. And I could hear you guys from _outside_!" Sam groaned.

Cas giggled a little.

"Yeah especially you." Sam muttered.

"Cas, we have a problem," Dean said.

"Problem?" Sam asked. "What kind of a problem.

"You probably don't want to know," Cas whispered. "Wait here."

Cas shut the door and ran over to Dean. "What's the issue?"

Dean lifted up a towel and revealed a soaking wet spot on the bed.

"Shit," Cas whispered.

"Shit is right," Dean muttered. "Guess I'm changing the sheets, too."

Cas went back over to the door where Sam was waiting impatiently. "Can you go get us new sheets?"

"What the fuck did you guys do?" Sam scoffed

"You really don't want to know," Cas said.

Sam sighed and left to go get them. Cas leaned against the wall by the door and waited while Dean stripped the sheets in a panic.

"I thought you said the towels would hold?" Cas asked.

"I thought they would." Dean pulled the final layer of sheets off and sighed with relief. "Nothing on the mattress,"

"Thank God," Cas breathed. "Sam would have killed us."

I would have killed you why?" Sam asked, opening the door a crack again.

"No reason," Cas stated.

"You smell horrible by the way," Sam said.

Dean went over and handed Cas all the dirty towels and sheets in a pile, their wet clothes hidden in them. "Go take those to the laundry room."

"Dean's remaking the bed," Cas said. "You're safe to go in now."

Sam pushed the door fully open and stared at Dean making the bed naked. He turned around and saw that Cas's shirt was soaking wet and yellow.

"You pissed on each other!" Sam shrieked. "In the bed!"

"Ah, yeah," Dean hissed, Cas running away down the hall.

"I hate both of you," Sam sighed, "You're right I didn't want to know. It's disgusting."

"It's not as bad as you think," Dean said. "If Cas can do it..."

Sam cringed and looked around. "Oh and you drank almost all the wine. I'm sure that went well."

"It did," Cas assured him stepping into the room.

Cas walked crookedly towards Sam and grinned. "It was amazing."

"What happened to you?" Sam scoffed.

"Dean fucked me," Cas said, leaning close and whispering in Sam's face. " _Hard_."

Sam coughed a little. "What'd you do? Drink piss, too?"

Cas shook his head.

"He got most of the wine didn't he?" Sam asked.

"Yep," Dean chuckled.

"Guy can't even walk," Sam muttered.

"Good," Cas growled.


	3. Chapter 3

Cas was the first to wake up in the morning. He was sandwiched between Sam and Dean. He rolled over and kissed each of them good morning, both of them still asleep. He carefully slithered off the foot of the bed so he wouldn’t disturb either of them and went into the bathroom. He was definitely going to be sore a couple days, he could tell that for sure. He looked into the mirror and laughed at himself. His hair was completely everywhere, though it was unknown if that was a result of a rough night’s sleep or a rough night’s _Dean_.

He turned the nightlight off and put the main lights on, blinking at the contrast in brightness. Once his eyes adjusted, he wet his fingers and ran them through his hair, trying to tame it a little–not that it mattered since he was about to shower anyway, but it needed to be done. Cas pulled the door shut so the light wouldn’t make the bedroom too bright and yawned as he patted his hair down back into place. Kind of.

Cas went over to the toilet and went to lift the seat, but searched for it for a good ten-seconds before concluding someone had stolen it. Another five-seconds went by before realizing he was just tired and the seat was already up. That was the nice thing about living with three men–the toilet seat was always up. Cas always forgot though. About once a month he woke one of them in by falling in and shrieking.

Cas pushed the waistband of his sweatpants down and stood in front of the toilet. He yawned again and stared impatiently at the basin as he relieved himself.

“Morning, Cas,” Dean whispered, opening the bathroom door.

Cas looked over and smiled at him. “Good morning, Dean.”

“You look fresh-faced today,” Dean said. “I was expecting to see you a little hungover.”

Cas shook his head. “I wasn’t that tipsy.”

“I recall you acting pretty unlike yourself by the end of the night,” Dean mused going over and hugging Cas from behind.

“Dean, do you mind?” Cas asked. “Don’t be weird. I’m trying to pee.”

“No, I don’t mind at all,” Dean replied, putting his chin on Cas’s shoulder and kissing his cheek. “And are you really going to insinuate that hugging you while you pee is weird after last night?”

“Yes, I am,” Cas answered.

“What about tickling?” Dean asked.

“What?” Cas gasped.

Dean rolled his tongue beside Cas’s ear and then jammed his hands into Cas’s sides. Cas stifled back giggles, but only had one hand to try to fend off Dean’s two. Cas couldn’t try to run away and he couldn’t free up his second hand, trying his hardest not to let Dean’s tickles get to him so he could finish his business in peace.

“Dean,” Cas groaned. “Are you trying to make it hard for me to use the bathroom like a normal person?”

“Am I?” Dean countered.

Cas scoffed at him. “Yeah, you probably are, aren’t you?”

Dean moved his hands up to Cas’s armpits and Cas bit back a yelp. His armpits were the most sensitive spot on his body–for tickling at least. He instantly reacted, grabbing for Dean’s hands with both of his. Dean spun him around and grabbed him by the wrists, holding Cas up close to him. Cas looked into his eyes and panted, then realized the quiet pitter-patter of liquid hitting tile.

Cas looked down momentarily at the yellow-tinted puddle slowly growing beneath them and then back up at Dean. “Happy?”

Dean chuckled and kissed him on the lips.

“Having a penis is a fucking hazard,” Cas stated.

“No, it’s not.” Dean shook his head. “Having a fucking womb is.”

Cas frowned at him. “Fine. Loving you is a fucking hazard.”

Dean hummed and brought Cas’s wrists back down by his side and pushed him back up against the bathroom counter. “I’ll drink to that.”

“Drink what?” Cas asked.

“ _Now_ who’s being weird?” Dean retorted, guiding Cas’s fingers to hold onto the ledge overhanging the counter.

“Dean…” Cas breathed. “What are you doing?”

“You upstaged me last night,” Dean whispered, dropping to his knees in front of him.

“Today is going to be great, I’m sure,” Cas said, looking down at him.

Castiel was no longer emptying his bladder which would have been nicer if it had happened sooner than it did, considering that he was most likely going to have to clean it up. Dean had no qualms about kneeling in the puddle though, even though it got the legs of his flannel pajamas wet. Just one more thing to put in the wash today.

Dean took Cas’s cock in his hand and reached out with his tongue and licked the tip of it. Cas immediately gasped. Dean gave two more quick flicks before grazing the tip of his tongue in circles around the head. Cas gasped again and then dragged it out into a quiet moan. Dean placed his lips at the base and began slowly kissing his way up Cas’s growing length until he got to the top again. Placing his lips at the tip, he went down a few centimeters and then pulled back up.

Dean took Cas in a few more centimeters and back up after that, and then a few more from there and back up again, drawing full moans out of his lover. He continued working his way down until he had Cas almost completely in his mouth. Dean pulled all the way back and played with Cas’s slit a little more, dancing his tongue around the edge and then pressing against it. Cas’s breath hitched and he swallowed a moan, remembering Sam was trying to sleep.

Dean took Cas back in all the way again and just took Cas in and out of his mouth. Cas tried to conceal his pleasure audibly–his face was another story–but Dean would hit something just the right way and Cas would accidentally make a noise. Sam didn’t wake easy, but he was no deep sleeper either, so Cas was trying to be considerate.

Dean slid his lips up and down Cas’s cock, Cas keeping his hands gripped onto the counter tightly, his white-knuckle grip helping ease some of the desire to show his pleasure vocally. Dean kept making humming noises, too. He knew Cas liked it. The way the vibrations from vocal cords felt against him could make him melt. Dean eagerly took Cas in every time he moved out, in a consistent rhythm that felt like Dean was some godsend of a blowjob robot. Dean didn’t always know much about things, but he knew blowjobs, whether from giving or receiving, neither Sam nor Cas knew the answer.

“Dean, I’m there,” Cas whispered, his breath catching in his throat again.

“Show me,” Dean growled, pulling off him and teasing Cas with his tongue again. “Show me, Cas.”

Cas nodded and gasped and Dean kept rubbing his tongue around the head of Cas’s cock and Cas writhed up against the counter, biting his lip hard to say quiet.

The bathroom door slowly opened and Sam looked at them and sighed.

The only thing Cas registered from seeing their mutual boyfriend was that he didn’t need to be quiet anymore and he moaned extremely loudly and came onto Dean’s face.

“Morning, Sammy,” Dean said, smiling up at him.

“Could you two have been any louder?” Sam groaned. “It’s six in the morning. Aren’t you hungover, Cas?”

“I wasn’t that drunk!” Cas protested. “Or that noisy, for that matter. Except for right there.”

“Cas, you’re noisy in bed. So noisy,” Sam stated. “I don’t know why you bother trying to be quiet.”

“Mainly, because I care about you,” Cas replied.

“Yeah, well, thanks,” Sam muttered, looking back at Dean. “You got a little something….everywhere.”

“Isn’t white my color?” Dean asked.

“Holy shit!” Sam exclaimed, eyes widening and taking a step out of the bathroom. “Did you guys piss on each other again?”

“It was his fault!” Cas exclaimed.

Sam made a groan of disgust and looked away.

“I was trying to pee and I thought you were both asleep and he came up and started tickling me!” Cas explained.

Sam nodded slowly. “I’m going to go get ready for work in another bathroom and another bedroom. And I want my bathroom spotless when I’m done.”

“ _Your_ bathroom?” Dean asked. “I think it’s _our_ bathroom.”

“Well, when _your_ names are on the ownership deed, then we can talk about the pronouns I use regarding my house,” Sam stated. “Clean this up.”

“Want to get in the shower with us?” Cas offered, nodding towards the spacious shower they had put in just for all three of them.

“No thanks.” Sam shook his head. “I get in the shower to feel clean.”

Cas’s face fell a little and Sam turned and walked off.

“Help me up,” Dean said, holding out his hand. “It’s slippery down here.”

Cas took Dean’s hand and helped him get to a stand without falling. Cas turned around and used the washrag on the counter to wipe the come off Dean’s face. “Sorry,” he whispered.

Dean laughed and went towards the shower and turned the water on. He adjusted the water so that it would be nice and warm for the cold morning air and began untying the tie on his waistband. “I’m going to go toss these in the laundry to be washed today.”

Cas nodded and kissed him, Dean walking off town the hall. Cas got some toilet paper and wiped off any stray drops of pee around the toilet or the floor surrounding it. Dean came back and frowned at Cas disapprovingly when he saw him trying to clean.

“I’ll get it, Cas,” Dean stated, putting his hand on Cas’s back. Cas stood up and turned around. “You will?”

“Of course,” Dean replied.

“But, you got last night,” Cas replied. “It’s only fai–”

“Ah, no,” Dean quipped. “I screwed with you this morning. It’s my mess. I’ll get it.”

“Okay,” Cas said, tossing the wad of toilet paper into the toilet and flushing it.

“Go ahead and get in the shower.” Dean crouched down and opened the cabinets beneath the sink. “I’ll be right in.” 

Cas nodded and began stepping into the shower.

“Cas, you might want to get undressed first,” Dean stated, snickering at him.

Cas took his leg back out of the shower and took his sweats the rest of the way off. He tossed them over Dean’s head onto the carpet in the bedroom and then stepped back into the shower. Cas stepped inside the shower and slid the glass door shut but didn’t bother with the curtain. Cas inhaled the warm air deeply and then sat down on one of the seating ledges installed around the perimeter. He closed his eyes and waited patiently for Dean. He didn’t want to do anything until Dean got in the shower because then they’d finish showering at different times and that would be weird.

After a few minutes, Dean stepped inside the shower and carefully closed the door behind him. Cas stood up and looked at him.

“What?” Dean asked. “What’s that look for?”

“Nothing,” Cas replied, starting to crouch down.

“No.” Dean rolled his eyes and pulled Cas back up to a stand. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“But you–”

“Last night, I didn’t even realize you came. I was making up for that,” Dean stated. “Besides, you don’t always have to reciprocate gifts.”

Cas looked at him disapprovingly. “Some gifts are meant to be reciprocated, though.”

Cas reached out, but Dean grabbed him by the wrist and stopped him. “Not this one. I don’t care, Cas.”

“Okay,” Cas replied, giving Dean a sigh.

Dean backed under the water from the shower and tugged Cas along with him, gently kissing him on the lips. Cas’s face immediately flushed from the heat. Dean stroked one of his rosy cheeks with his thumb and then reached up to run his hand through Cas’s hair and get it soaked through with water.

“You’re amazing,” Dean said, kissing him again this time on the cheek.

“I am?” Cas asked, smiling.

Dean nodded. “You and Sam are my whole world.”

“You and him are mine, too,” Cas replied, letting Dean aimlessly rinse his hair with his fingers.

When Dean and Cas got out of the shower, Sam was gone, He must have left early for work, considering his nice suit was gone and the briefcase he carries his files in.

“I have to go to work soon, too,” Cas sighed, placing his hands at Dean’s chest. “I don’t want to.”

“I don’t want you to,” Dean responded, kissing Cas chastely on the lips.

“They’re doing their Valentine’s dinner at work this week.”

“Are you going?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded. “Every year.”

“You don’t seen very enthusiastic,” Dean said, giving Cas the towel all to himself and going to find clothes to put on.

Cas sat on the bed and watched him, sighing in uncertainty. “They keep begging me to bring my wife.”

“Maybe they wouldn’t beg that if you didn’t wear a wedding ring,” Dean chuckled.

Cas looked down at his hand and fidgeted with the ring. “I’m not taking it off.”

“I know,” Dean stated. “You’re so weird.”

“If you were married, you wouldn’t go randomly taking your wedding ring off and wandering around without it,” Cas said.

“That’s the thing, Cas,” Dean said. “You’re not married.”

“But I feel married!” Cas protested. “We live together and we pay the bills together and we sleep together and we shower together and we do everything married couples should do. I don’t need you to attacking me about this again.”

“I’m not attacking you,” Dean groaned, standing up and facing him. “And I never attacked you about this.”

“Every time you bring it up, you’re so judgmental,” Cas stated.

“Cas, you wear a wedding ring for a marriage that never happened,” Dean replied. “I’m not attacking you. I know how much this means to you. I would never attack you over it.”

“But the marriage _did_ happen for me,” Cas said. “Somewhere along the line. And it feels wrong to not acknowledge it.”

“Yeah, I know,” Dean sighed. “You know what I think, Cas?”

“Hm?” Cas mumbled.

“I think you want to feel as close to a normal relationship as possible. So you convinced yourself that you were married and bought a wedding ring so you could justify to your faith the reason you were with two men,” Dean stated. “I mean, most of this started a couple months after we bought the house. We were getting more serious and you couldn’t try to justify it with being lost or confused or experimenting.”

Cas started shaking and squinted at Dean. Dean crossed his arms and looked over at the wall for what was about to come.

“Fuck you!” Cas yelled, looking at him in shock and disgust. “How can you say that?”

“Because I think it’s the truth,” Dean said.

“You know what, Dean? Suck my fucking ass because not everything you find fault with with me is because of my religion that you don’t believe in!” Cas scowled.

“I don’t find fault in you,” Dean replied. “And your religion has never affected my capacity to love you.”

“Listen, Dean,” Cas huffed, shaking more. “I know that I have a lot of issues because of my faith. But I’m aware of them. And this has nothing to do with my faith. This ring I wear is not some sort of religious pat on the back or way of justifying my relationship with you to my God. I bear the weight of that cross everyday and the fact that I’m sharing a life with two men does not change depending on the type of relationship.”

This wasn’t Cas’s usual schtick Dean was used to hearing, He was legitimately surprised for once.

“I don’t wear this ring because I’m delusional and think we actually got married. I know you don’t view me as a husband. I know you never will. I wear this because I view _you_ as a husband. You and Sam both!” Cas stayed sitting on the bed but started to cry. “It’s a reminder of the loyalty and the devotion that I have for you and that I owe you for everything you’ve shown me.”

Dean started slowly walking toward him, cautiously extending a hand almost as if to pet a wild animal.

“This ring is not to fuel a delusion, Dean,” Cas said. “It’s not a way to lie to myself or lie to God.”

Dean put his hand in Cas’s hair and gently ran his fingers through Cas’s wet, messy locks.

“This ring is the only way I can be honest with myself,” Cas whispered, looking up at him, trembling on the bed. “So I’m not getting rid of it to avoid people asking about my wife at Valentine’s day parties.”

Dean sighed and stood in front of him, “I love you, Cas. Neither Sam nor I have a problem with your ring.”

Cas panted and reached up and grabbed Dean’s arm, wrapping his hands around Dean’s forearm. He looked up at Dean with watery eyes and sniffled. Dean looked down at him and Cas looked into his eyes silently, then gasped before sliding off the edge of the bed and kneeling at Dean’s feet.

Cas put his hands on Dean’s legs and began sobbing. He moved his hands around to cradle the back of Dean’s thighs and Dean looked down at him and shook his head in disappointment and sympathy.

“Cas,” Dean finally said, moving his hands off him and getting on the ground with him. Dean held his face in his hands and kissed him softly. “Are you okay?”

Cas nodded, wiping his face.

“Are you sure?” Dean asked, looking at him in concern.

“I’m fine,” Cas stated, swallowing nervously. “I’m sorry.”

“No.” Dean shook his head. “Don’t apologize.”

Cas blinked the tears out of his eyes and pulled the towel out from under him and used it to blow his nose. “I don’t know if I should bring you.”

“Bring me where?” Dean asked.

“I don’t like lying,” Cas said. “It’s a sin.”

“You’re not lying to anyone,” Dean replied.

Cas nodded. “At work. The party. I want to bring you and Sam, but I don’t know if I should or not.”

“That’s your choice to make, not mine,” Dean stated.

“What would you do?” Cas asked.

“Well, I’d see what they could do about it if they didn’t like who I was dating. And then if they could do something, I’d look at how much they need me. If I’m expendable, then would I be able to get another job quickly? And is being out of the closet worth that?” Dean said. “But if I were you and not me, I might pray about it.”

Cas nodded. “What time is it?”

“Quarter to 7,” Dean answered.

“Shit,” Cas sighed. “I have work.”

Dean nodded and Cas got up off the floor and headed towards his dresser.

* * *

Sam got home and was surprised not to see Cas’s car there. “Cas isn’t home from work yet?”

“No,” Dean responded, cooking something at the stove.

Sam put his briefcase down on the table and looked up at him. “Isn’t he usually by now?”

“Yeah, usually,” Dean responded. “He called though and said that the printer broke and he was the only one willing to stay late for a repairman because they wouldn’t get paid for it.”

“He’s too good for that company,” Sam muttered, sitting down at the table. “What’s for dinner?”

“Spaghetti,” Dean said, stirring in a pot. “It’s almost done.”

“Delicious,” Sam groaned, smiling in anticipation.

“We gotta talk though,” Dean sighed.

“What about?” Sam asked.

“We gotta talk about Cas,” Dean replied.

“Why? Did something happen?” Sam’s smile faded and he looked at Dean with worry.

“No, well, yes,” Dean groaned. “After you left this morning, he got really upset. It was bad.”

“Define bad,” Sam said.

“He was shaking from how angry he was, but I didn’t even do anything. And then he just sobbed,” Dean stated. “And then he sat on the floor at my feet and sobbed some more.”

“God,” Sam breathed, Dean turning and stirring the pot a little more. 

“Yeah,” Dean sighed. “But I got down there with him and told him I loved him and then after a minute he was fine and went to work.”

“Well, at least there’s that,” Sam replied.

“I don’t think that’s a good thing,” Dean stated. “Cas isn’t like that. Cas isn’t just _fine_ after something like that.”

“Any idea what caused it?” Sam asked. “Why was he mad at you?”

“He was talking about the Valentine’s Day dinner they’re having at work this week. Everyone’s pushing him to bring his wife. I told him that if he didn’t wear his ring to w–“

“Say no more,” Sam chuckled. “God, he’s so weird with that thing.”

“I told him I thought he only did it because the only way he could justify this type of relationship to God was if it was a marriage to show that even though it’s a sinful relationship, it’s real love,” Dean said. “He took that _really_ well.”

“So he disagrees?” Sam asked.

“Completely,” Dean stated, turning back to face him and sighing. “He says it has nothing to do with God but is a reminder for himself of how much he’s devoted to the two of us.”

“Huh.” Sam shifted his jaw from side to side and and looked off into the distance. “That was what he said?”

“Yeah.”

“He never said anything like that before,” Sam mused.

“Yeah,” Dean repeated, stirring the pot again. “I think he’s going through something right now. And I think we both need to try our hardest to be there for him.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sam asked.

“Nothing,” Dean replied.

“Do you think I’m not supporting enough of him?” Sam scoffed.

“Sam,” Dean groaned. “That’s not what I said!”

Sam rolled his eyes and looked away from him.

“All I’m saying, Sam, is that both of us–myself included–should just watch out for him more than usual. I don’t know what’s going on with him right now, but I want him to know that he doesn’t have to go through it alone,” Dean stated, setting the ladle on the counter next to the stove and opening the cabinet and reaching for a bowl.

“Hey, give me a lot of sauce,” Sam said.

Dean looked at him and gave him a completely done look. “Get your own damn helping.”

Dean smiled at him as he shut the cabinet with only one bowl in his hands. Sam scoffed loudly.

* * *

Cas got home rather late, obviously exasperated and fried. Dean was waiting up for him, but Sam had gone to bed early for a big trial in the morning.

“Welcome home,” Dean said, looking up at him from the couch where he was waiting. Cas jumped, slightly startled. “It’s 11pm, Cas.”

“I know,” Cas replied, kicking his shoes off in front of the door. “Trust me, I know.”

“What happened?” Dean asked.

“They tried for two hours to fix the god damn thing before deciding that we needed a new one,” Cas said. “So then we had to go buy and assemble and set up an entire new printer. And by we, I mean _I_.”

“You just got done?” Dean replied.

“Complicated ass piece of shit,” Cas muttered, going towards the fridge.

Dean got up and stood beside him, watching him rummage through the alcohol beverage shelf. “Hey.”

Cas paused and looked up at him.

“Welcome home,” Dean whispered, putting a hand on Cas’s back.

Cas smiled at him and stood up, closing the fridge. “Thanks.”

Dean kissed Cas softly on the lips and put his hands at Cas’s waist. “I think you can go to bed without drinking us dry, don’t you?”

“Yeah, probably,” Cas mused, Dean kissing him again.

“Turn the light out,” Dean said. “Let’s head to bed. It’s late.”


	4. Chapter 4

Dean woke up and Sam and Cas were both gone. He knew Sam had that trial to get to, but Cas didn’t have work. On his days off, he never went anywhere. He’d lay in bed and snuggle with whomever was home.

“Cas!” Dean called, slowly checking every room of the house. Cas’s car was here and his phone was here, but he wasn’t here. His wallet was gone though, which means he had to have gone somewhere most likely. Yet, Dean continued to check the house, just in case Cas was sitting somewhere sobbing or asleep in a drunken stupor somehow. Cas had his ways.

When Dean was sure Cas was nowhere to be found, he gave Sam a call.

“Hey, Dean,” Sam answered. “You called at a good time. We just took a recess.”

“Great, where’s Cas?” Dean asked.

“What?” Sam scoffed.

“He’s gone,” Dean stated.

“What do you mean he’s gone?” Sam replied.

“I mean his phone is here and his car is here, but he’s not,” Dean said. “Did he say anything to you?”

“He was asleep when I was left,” Sam answered. “I have no clue where he is.”

Sam sighed tensely into the phone. “Have you tried the church?”

“No,” Dean replied. “I’m going to though, but I wanted to see if you knew where he was. He was gone when I got up, so I don’t know.”

Sam’s breath had a slight quiver to it that Dean could hear. “Fuck, I gotta go. Text me if you find him, okay?”

“Alright,” Dean sighed, hanging up the phone. “Cas, where the fuck are you?”

* * *

Dean got dressed and made his way down to the church as quickly as possible. He went in and was greeted by a minister.

“Hello, can I help you?” he asked.

“I’m looking for my boy–” Dean paused. “Yeah, I’m looking for my boy. He’s my homeboy, you know. Best friend. I think he might be here.”

“Are you a card-holding member?” the minster continued.

“No, just he is. His name is Castiel Novak. I’m sure you know him,” Dean stated, noticing the instant recognition on the minister’s face.

“For safety and confidentiality, we can’t reveal the names of our members nor tell you who’s currently worshipping here, I’m sure you understand,” he said.

“Listen, the guy’s family to me,” Dean stated. “I’m sure you’ve heard him talk about Dean before? I’m Dean. I’ll show you my ID.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help you,” he replied.

Dean sighed and dragged his hand down his face. “Listen, I care about this guy a lot. And I’m worried about him. And I can’t find him anywhere and he doesn’t have his phone. I just want to know he’s okay.”

The minister stared at him silently.

“Listen, you see him, you tell him to come home or call me or something,” Dean stated. “My name’s Dean Winchester.”

“Have a nice day,” the minister said.

“No thanks to you,” Dean muttered, leaving the church doors. He went down the stairs and quickly texted Sam that he couldn’t find Cas at the church.

Sam texted back a short reply of concern after a few minutes.

“Where the fuck are you?” Dean whispered, getting into the Impala. “Come on, Cas…”

* * *

Sam got off the trial and went straight home. They sat together by the front door waiting for Cas all day, waiting for the door to unlock and for him to walk in and it’d been all day they’d been waiting.

“Maybe he’s at a friends?” Sam suggested, Dean tensely pacing the walkway in front of the door.

“Friends?” Dean huffed. “You and I both know he has no friends.”

“Yeah, but he knows some people from church,” Sam replied.

“Who we don’t know,” Dean stated.

“We have his phone,” Sam said. “Maybe we can just call everyone and see if they saw him?”

“We can’t do that,” Dean sighed. “Who don’t know who anyone is.”

“Do you have a better idea?” Sam asked. “Because after yesterday, I’d do anything to make sure he’s okay right now.”

“You know I was trying _not_ to think of the worst possible scenario right now,” Dean sighed.

“I didn’t say anything,” Sam stated.

“You didn’t have to,” Dean muttered. “You thought it. I heard.”

“Dean,” Sam groaned, leaning forward with his head in his hands, Dean still pacing relentlessly behind him.

Dean and Sam both gasped and looked up as the lock to the house turned. The door opened and Cas rushed in and swiftly shut it behind him.

Dean ran up and grabbed him by the arms. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What?” Cas breathed, looking up at him in confusion, trying to pull away from him, but Dean kept a grip on him. “What do you mean?”

“Where the fucking shit were you?” Dean growled.

“I was at church,” Cas said.

“Doing what?” Dean scoffed, Cas trying to pull away from him again. “What?”

“Praying,” Cas replied.

“All day?” Dean asked. “Without your fucking phone?”

“I can’t use it during church, so why bother bringing it?” Cas replied, squirming between Dean’s arms. “Dean, I need to–”

“What you need to do is fucking explain to me why you disappeared all day without telling anyone and left us all to fucking worry!” Dean shouted.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Cas muttered, balling his hands up into fists and inhaling nervously.

“Yeah? Well, you could have called. Or had someone call for you. Or left a fucking note. Or something, Cas,” Dean growled. “All fucking day you were gone!”

“I know, but I needed guidance,” Cas replied, bouncing on his knees a little. “Dean, I really need–”

“You needed guidance?” Dean laughed. “And in no point in this guidance did you stop to eat? Drink? Have a conversation? Take a leak? Nothing? Did you have no point, one whole minute to think about letting us know you were okay?”

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t take any breaks for anything,” Cas stated. “I haven’t eaten or drank anything all day, and I also haven’t–”

“Yeah, right,” Dean retorted.

“It’s the truth!” Cas protested, trying to wriggle away from him. “I got on my knees the second I got there and didn’t get up until they closed the chapel.”

“I wish you got on your knees that willingly for me,” Dean muttered.

“I do,” Cas stated. “You know I do.”

Cas crossed his legs and then uncrossed them, standing with them pressed tightly together. Dean wasn’t paying attention, but Sam could see his movements and realized what Cas was trying to tell Dean. “Dean!”

“Hold on, Sam. I’m not through here,” Dean snapped, looking back at Cas. “You can not just run off like that and not tell anyone, Castiel.”

“Okay!” Cas whined. “I won’t, I’ll tell you every single place I go in the future, just let me go, Dean.”

“Why didn’t you take your car either?” Dean asked. “It’s a two mile walk between here and the church each way.”

“I wanted to be with nature so I could be closer to God’s creations and understand better what he thought I should do,” Cas stated.

“You wanted to be with nature,” Dean sneered. “You see, I think you were trying to scare us and trying to make us worry about you.”

“No!” Cas exclaimed. “D-Dean I wouldn’t do that to you! You know I wouldn’t!”

“I just can’t see how you think that you can disappear to a place where we can’t even look for you all day with no contact!” Dean groaned, “What is wrong with you? Don’t you know that we worry about you?”

“I’m sorry,” Cas whispered. “I didn’t realize you’d be so upset about it. I was just praying.”

“Dean!” Sam called again.

“You promise?” Dean asked, ignoring Sam. “You were just praying? You weren’t purposely ignoring us?”

“Of course not,” Cas replied, bouncing again on his knees. “Now can I please–”

“Go choke on a dick, Cas,” Dean muttered, grabbing him and kissing him. Cas made a loud noise of surprise but Dean just kissed him.

Sam sighed and looked in horror and shock as he saw Cas’s pants go from dry to completely wet in a matter of seconds.

“You had me so worried,” Dean whispered, kissing him again and again.

“Dean, stop,” Cas hissed.

“I was so scared something bad happened to you, Cas,” Dean stated. “I don’t know how I would have gone on if you’d gotten hurt–or worse.”

“Stop,” Cas said louder, pushing Dean away.

“I’m sorry I yelled,” Dean said quietly, reaching out for his face.

Cas frowned at him and leaned his face away.

“What?” Dean asked.

“Dean, are you fucking dense?” Sam groaned.

Dean looked over at him.

“He just pissed himself because you wouldn’t let go of him,” Sam explained, glaring at Dean in annoyance.

Dean slowly looked downward and realized he and Cas were standing in an extremely large puddle. Dean looked back up at Cas and Cas sighed angrily.

“I’m sorry,” Dean breathed, stepping away from him. “That’s what you kept trying to say, wasn’t it?”

Cas nodded.

“You literally scared the piss out of him,” Sam retorted.

“I wasn’t scared of him,” Cas stated, face flushing a deeper and deeper shade of red with each passing moment. He looked down at himself and scowled. “God dammit.”

“You only have reason to be scared of the people you think will hurt you,” Dean said, looking over at Sam.

Cas nodded in agreement. “I’ve never been afraid of Dean.”

“See?”

“But fuck you, Dean. _You_ can go choke on a dick,” Cas grumbled. “Because I’m going to take a shower, put on clean clothes, and go the fuck to bed.”

“I love you,” Dean muttered.

“I love you, too,” Cas sighed. “Just not very much right now.”

“Did you get your guidance?” Dean called after him.

“Matter of fact, I did,” Cas stated.

“And?”

“I felt that God wanted me to go to the Valentine’s work party,” Cas said. “And you and Sam shall come with me.”

“Shall?” Sam snorted. “That’s biblical.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “All I know is that all my coworkers are going to get to know the real me very soon. I already RSVP’d for myself plus two.”

* * *

Dean had to clean the floor and then mop the floor, and then wash the floor with bleach before he came upstairs. He’d been so adamant about Sam being kind to Cas that he forgot he needed to be, too. And thanks to him, Cas felt embarrassed and humiliated and inferior. When Dean had it all cleaned, he put all the supplies away and went upstairs. Sam and Cas were in bed awake still, but Sam was hugging Cas from behind and kissing him, telling him things that were making him smile.

“Cas,” Dean sighed again, looking down at him. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. Me too.” Cas said. ‘I don’t want you really to choke on a dick unless it’s mine or Sam’s.”

Dean and Sam both laughed and Dean sat on the edge of the bed. “Can I still sleep here?”

“Always,” Cas said. “God preaches forgiveness. Even if you yelled at me and unknowingly made me pee myself.”

“Yeah, about that, Jesus Jr.,” Dean muttered. “If you had to pee so bad, you walked home. Why didn’t you just you know, go anywhere along the way?”

“Because its rude to the plants,” Cas stated. “And it harms them. I don’t want to harm nor disrespect a beautiful creation of God’s.”

“I do not deserve you,” Dean said.

“I don’t deserve _you_ ,” Cas countered.

“You’re right. You don’t deserve a bit of anything I put you through,” Dean whispered, kissing him on the lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Cas said, snuggling down into Sam and pulling Dean’s arm as a way of telling him to get in close, too.


	5. Chapter 5

“We should mess around again tonight,” Dean said, stepping into one leg of his pants. “The other night was great.”

Cas looked up at him as he buttoned his shirt. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Dean asked. “What does that mean?”

“I mean okay,” Cas stated. “I’ll do it.”

“Just like that?” Dean replied, getting into the second leg of his jeans.

Cas nodded. “I mean, what were you expecting me to say?”

“I don’t know,” Dean mused. “Something more enthusiastic, I guess.”

“Fine,” Cas huffed, giving Dean a look of annoyance. “Yes, Dean, I would with much eager anticipation look forward to another night of urine-soaked coitus and the possibility of shoving my cock in your tight ass.”

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Enthusiastic enough?” Cas deadpanned, reaching for his tie that was sitting on top of his dresser.

Dean turned away from him to pick a shirt out of their closet. He pulled out a solid black t-shirt and turned back to him.

“I think Sam’s feeling left out,” he said, pulling the shirt over his head.

“Why so?” Cas asked, fiddling with his tie.

“I mean you and I are doing all this together and he’s not and I think he’s feeling left out because he’s not involved with it at all and we usually do so much together,” Dean explained. “I could be wrong, but he seems kinda sad lately, right?”

“I haven’t noticed,” Cas stated, heading out the room and leaning over the banister of the stairs. “Sam!”

“What?” Sam yelled back, going over beneath him. “What, Cas?”

“You want to watch us have sex tonight?” Cas asked.

“What?” Sam scoffed.

“Well, I know you don’t really like to do anything kinky, but maybe you’d like to watch so you aren’t left out?” Cas offered.

“Gross, no thanks,” Sam said. “I appreciate the thought though.”

“Oh, okay.” Cas shrugged and went back into the bedroom. “He doesn’t want to be involved at any capacity.”

“His decision, I guess,” Dean muttered.

“Yeah,” Cas sighed, pulling the knot tight on his tie finally. “I’ll make sure to drink a lot at work today, then.”

“Careful,” Dean drawled. “Don’t drink too much at work. You’ll still be at work until five.”

“I know,” Cas said. “I’ll use discretion.”

* * *

Cas was the last to get home from work out of the three of them. He unlocked the door and impatiently hung his coat up on the hooks installed into the wall by the door. “Jesus Christ,” he sighed.

Sam looked up at him from the table and chuckled. “What?”

“Of course of all days, what a great day for a traffic jam,” Cas huffed. “I have had to pee since three fucking PM.”

Sam laughed as he bounced around and looked for Dean. “You keep this up and you’re going to literally pee yourself at work and will have no one to blame but yourself.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Cas stated. “If it got to that point, I’d just use the bathrooms at work, but it wasn’t at that point. Well, kindof.”

Sam sneered at him and nodded upstairs. “Dean’s upstairs getting ready.”

“He went out and bought a bunch of old, used towels for cheap and had someone he knew sew them all together into a really thick mega-towel,” Sam explained. “You two are way too into this.”

“God, he’s smart,” Cas said, heading to the stairs. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Sam shrugged. “Go have fun. Go be noisy. I’ll be down here if you need anything.”

“Have fun with whatever you’re doing,” Cas replied, going up a couple stairs.

“I’m solving a crossword.” Sam turned the newspaper around and waved it a little.

Cas nodded and went up the rest of the stairs.

“Hey, Cas?” Sam called, going down to the bottom of the stairs.

“What?” Cas turned around and looked down to him.

“What if I changed my mind?” Sam asked.

“About?” Cas replied.

“Well, I was just thinking. This whole pee thing you guys got going on–it’s something you really like, right?”

“Yes,” Cas answered.

“And you plan on doing it in the future, I’m sure,” Sam stated.

Cas nodded.

“Well, I mean, it’s probably going to be something I have to get used to and be more open to, and maybe it would be good if I was…you know– _around_ \- it more,” Sam, explained.

“Are you asking if the offer still stands to come up and watch?” Cas asked.

“Yeah,” Sam said.

“Of course!” Cas exclaimed. “You’re our boyfriend, Sam. You’ve seen us naked more times than our mothers have.”

“I know, but sometimes even in a poly relationship, some people like to keep things more private and separate,” Sam stated.

“Since when have Dean or I ever felt like that about anything?” Cas asked.

“Well, never,” Sam said. “But, sex is weird sometimes.”

“Sex is weird all the time,” Cas replied. “You’re shoving your genitals in another person because it feels nice.”

“You sure know how to make something sound enticing, don’t you?” Sam snorted, starting to come up the stairs. “So, that’s a yes, right?”

“That’s a yes,” Cas said, heading towards the bedroom.

When he got to the entryway to the room, Dean was sitting on the bed on his phone, playing a game.

“Sam will be joining us, apparently,” Cas stated.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean said, smilingly as he saw him. “I didn’t hear you get home.”

“Apparently whoever you’re texting is more captivating than me,” Cas said.

“Well, I won’t argue that,” Dean stated. “Tap Tap Fish is very captivating.”

Cas groaned at him and then looked over at the rest of the bed. “Whoa.”

“Yeah, cool right?” Dean replied, putting his phone asleep and setting it aside. “Aren’t I a genius?”

Cas nodded, Sam stepping in the room behind him.

“Sam.” Dean grinned. “You’re coming around?”

“No,” Sam stated. “I’m trying to desensitize myself.”

“Sure,” Dean laughed. “Sure you are.”

“Okay can we please hurry with this?” Cas asked. “I drank too much at work and nearly got in an accident rushing home.”

“Weren’t you going to use discretion?” Dean chuckled.

“I got cocky, okay?” Cas sighed, taking his shoes off and hopping on one leg to get his socks off, too. “Come on.”

Sam sat on the side of the bed he usually sleeps on and crossed his legs, ready to watch and try and see what’s so great about this. Dean sat across from him on the other side of the bed and waited as Cas anxiously tugged at his second sock.

Once the sock was off, Cas clamored onto the bed and in front of Dean. Dean was sitting with his legs straight out and open, Cas sitting in between them. Cas quickly climbed onto Dean’s lap which took Dean quite by surprise. He grunted a little, the weight of a grown man throwing himself on his lap not being a pleasant experience.

“Sorry,” Cas whispered, draping his arms on top of Dean’s shoulders.

Dean smiled at him. “You ready?”

“I was ready three hours ago,” Cas stated.

Dean looked over at Sam. “You?”

“Who can actually be ready to watch their boyfriends piss on each other?” Sam replied.

“That’s a yes, right?” Cas asked. “Because too late.”

Sam groaned, but stared in some horrified intrigue as Cas wet himself in Dean’s lap. He couldn’t get it through his head that there are people who actually do this on purpose.

Cas moaned in relief as he emptied as quickly as he could, the contents of his bladder onto his boyfriend. Cas reached down and grabbed at Dean, massaging him through his pants. Sam found the amount rather astounding as well. He didn’t realize a human bladder could hold so much. It was hard to gauge amount from a toilet, but when it’s all over two people and a bed, it seems like a lot more. Cas’s pants were soaked and Dean’s pants were soaked and the towels under them were just as bad.

“Jesus, Cas,” Dean chuckled. “How much did you drink?”

“Well, I drank two cups from the water machine every thirty minutes and then it got bad and I decided to stop,” Cas replied.

Dean sighed. “You better not get a UTI.”

“God, I hope not,” Cas muttered. “I don’t think I will.”

“Yeah, no one does,” Dean said, leaning forward and kissing him.

Cas sat on Dean and kissed him back, slowly but meaningfully. He brought his hands up to Dean's face and stroked his cheeks as he kissed him.

"Am I going to get a turn?" Dean asked.

"Of course," Cas whispered, letting Dean push him back to lie down on the bed and be sitting on top of him.

Dean bent down and went back to kissing him. As he kissed him, he undid Cas's pants and pushed his hand down the front.

"Cas, why'd you have to screw with me?" Dean mumbled. "Don't you know how hard it is to take a leak when you're hard?"

"No, that's not a situation I've found myself in," Cas replied.

"I think that just testified that you have very good boyfriends," Sam chimed.

"Yeah," Dean agreed. “You’ve left Sam and I hanging so many times.”

“How?” Cas scoffed.

“Like once a month you change your mind–or sometimes don’t even mean to–but you fall asleep either during or right before sex.” Dean said.

“Ooh,” Cas hummed. “I’ll try to work on that.”

Dean laughed and kissed the side of Cas’s mouth. “You won’t.”

“I probably won’t,” Cas replied, smiling at him.

“Oh, there we go,” Dean sighed. “That was not easy.”

Cas made a content sigh and kissed Dean on the lips. “God, this feels nice.”

“Doesn’t it?” Dean replied, gently stimulating Cas with his fingertips.

Cas moaned a bit louder into Dean’s kisses and indulged himself in the mixed sensations of Dean touching him and also wetting himself on him.

It shocked Sam more to see Dean wetting himself than Cas. Dean seemed so normal. Cas was pretty much the perfect candidate to be a secret freak so that was expected, but Dean was the most well-rounded of them all–which really said something about Sam and Cas–but for some reason, that made Sam expect him to never be into this or anything adjacent to it.

Whatever dry spots were left on either of their pants were gone after Dean had finished wetting himself. Where they’d been laying was a wet mess, but unlike their first attempt, these towels were thick and sewn together so they took it all just fine.

“You alive over there?” Dean asked, looking over at Sam.

Sam licked his chapped lips and gave Dean a look that if it had been a sentence, would have been a sarcastic one. “You’re gross. Both of you. This whole thing is gross.”

“Why do you have an erection then?” Cas asked.

“I don’t,” Sam stated.

Dean started laughing and sat up. “You’re literally grabbing your dick.”

Sam looked down and realized that he did indeed have a hard-on and was indeed touching himself without even realizing it.

“So much for gross,” Dean snickered.

“Hey, no, this doesn’t mean anything,” Sam stated. “Maybe I just think my two boyfriends making out is hot?”

“Well, that would make this the first time you ever got turned on from us making out, then,” Cas said.

Dean looked down at Cas beneath him and then up at Sam again and started laughing. “You’re as bad as us.”

“No, I’m not!” Sam protested. “I’m not into the weird pee shit!”

“Your dick is,” Dean stated.

“Well, that’s just bad timing,” Sam replied, getting off the bed. “I think I’ve seen enough. I’m gonna go shower. I feel dirty.”

“Have fun!” Cas called to him.

“It’s a shower, it’s not fun,” Sam snapped back.

Dean laughed and looked down at Cas, shaking his head. “Anyway….”

Cas grabbed Dean by the shirt and pulled him down close. “I want to be in you, Dean.” he growled. “Make it happen.”

“As you wish,” Dean whispered, sitting up and taking his shirt off. Dean got off the bed to get his pants off and while he was up, got the lube out.

Cas shimmied out of his pants and Dean got back on the bed in front of him and took his underwear off. Dean sat down by his feet and put his mouth on Cas’s cock, dragging his lips up the side and kissing it. Cas loved to be toyed with and teased so Dean did that for a moment, using the very tip of his tongue to mess with the extremely sensitive area on the flatter underside. Cas made a load whining sound and arched off the bed a little.

Dean laughed and slowly kissed the head and then went back up until he could reach Cas’s face and kissed him on the mouth. Dean positioned himself on Cas’s thighs and flipped open the bottle of lube. He squeezed it out onto Cas’s length and rubbed it on with his hand, drawing more breathy moans from his boyfriend’s mouth.

Dean raised himself up and then reached behind himself to just put a little more lube just in case. Then, Dean carefully moved back and sat himself down onto Cas, exhaling in a low, quiet tone as he did so. Dean began moving himself up and down on Cas’s cock, quickly falling into a consistent rhythm of going up and then coming down and tightening himself up for the pleasure.

Sam stood in the bathroom coming off from the bedroom and looked in the mirror. “What is wrong with me?”

He looked at the door as he could hear Cas’s noisy moans faintly through the wood. He looked down at the large bulge in his pants. “There is something very wrong with me.”

Sam took a deep breath and looked in the mirror again. “Just take a shower, I’m just gonna take a shower and forget about this.”

Sam tried to ignore the sound of Cas moaning and Dean panting on the other side of the door and began running the shower water. He pushed the handle a little further towards the cold controls and began getting undressed. He was still wearing the clothes he wore to the office. He briskly loosened his tie and pulled it up off over his head and then began removing his button-up shirt with equal haste.

Cas and Dean–but mostly Cas–were getting louder and harder to tune out. Sam groaned as he took his shirt off and then began hurrying to get the rest of his clothes off so he could get in the shower and drown them out.

As Sam got his boxers off, his dick sprang up and reminded him of it’s existence. He ignored it and got in the shower, shivering immediately at the cold water. He let it run over his body to try and force himself to go away from the idea of even the chance he might have gotten turned on from more than just his two partner’s grinding on each other. Sam couldn’t hear Dean and Cas any longer, so he stood in the shower and did some deep breaths and let the water pour over him.

He stood under the spray and closed his eyes, but even with Dean and Cas hidden from earshot, he just pictured the two of them on the bed, Dean getting nailed in any given position he could dream of. Sam resisted the urge to just get off to it, but he was so tempted. He opened his eyes and decided to read the ingredients in his fancy shampoo. That oughtta kill the boner and keep his thoughts clean.

Dean escalated his speed of his movements, pushing himself up and down much more quickly than he’d started.

“Fuck, Dean!” Cas cried. “Fuck!” 

“I am!” Dean replied, cackling at his own dad-level humor.

“That’s not funny, Dean,” Cas groaned.

“That’s hilarious,” Dean snickered.

Cas sighed which then turned into another drawn out moan as Dean moved down on him again.

Sam stared at the shampoo bottle and then set it back on the ledge. “I would rather read Fox News the rest of my life.”

Sam was cold and bored and didn’t want to shower in the first place and his body was relentless and he couldn’t get himself to get soft again. He turned off the water and got out of the shower, grabbing the towel and pulling it across his waist.

Every step he took made the fabric drag against the head of his cock and it wasn’t helping the situation anymore. He could hear Dean and Cas again and could tell from Cas’s voice alone that they were about to finish up rather soon. As Sam approached the counter, a moan escaped his lips from the friction. His erection was aching and begging to be touched, to be tended to, but Sam couldn’t ignore it any longer.

Sam quickly pulled the towel off his waist and wrapped his fist around himself, quickly stroking to the sound of Cas and Dean moaning in the next room. Sam could picture the way Dean was probably on all fours and Cas was up behind him, ramming into him. And then Sam started picturing them as they were, wet and slippery along with the bed and Sam groaned a mixture of self-disgust and pleasure as he came, hitting the cabinet door beneath the sink with his come.

Sam panted and let go of himself, using the towel to wipe the come off of the wooden surface. Sam put the towel back on his waist and then went back into the bedroom to get clean clothes on.

“Dean stop,” Cas said, grabbing Dean by the hips.

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked.

“I need you,” Cas whispered, adjusting their position that he wasn’t lying down anymore. Cas sat up beneath Dean with both their legs extending behind each other. Dean was sitting in Cas’s lap and now Cas was close to him and could touch him.

“Okay,” he whispered, leaning up and kissing Dean.

Sam stood and watched as Dean moved himself in Cas’s lap, Cas hungrily and desperately kissing him and hugging him with his arms around Dean’s back.

Cas’s high-pitched sounds filled the room, both him and Dean holding onto each other. Dean had one hand on Cas’s chest and his other in between them, getting himself off. He was trying to work himself up quick so he and Cas could finish at the same time.

Sam stood there in awe watching them. He’d been in the same room and been around and been in the house when they’d had sex before, but he’d never actually _watched_. He’d never actually watched anyone have sex before in real life. He wasn’t actively with them but it was so intense. You could feel how much Dean and Cas loved each other, how much they needed each other. Seeing from the outside gave Sam and almost omniscient sense of recognition that sex between the three of them was so different depending on who was involved. He knew Cas was completely on the page about sex being love and just love, but Dean was somewhere different. Everything Dean did was always rooted in love, no matter how much sexual intentions drove it. But Dean didn’t even seem like that with Cas. With Cas, Dean got on his level and put as much love into everything he did as Cas was.

Cas uttered a loud, “Fuck!” as he came, leaving himself panting in Dean’s arms. Dean wasn’t quite there yet, so while Cas was still hard, Dean used the remaining time, to bring himself to climax as well. Dean rested his forehead against Cas’s and held his hands on the side of Cas’s arms.

“I love you,” Cas whispered, affectionately rubbing their faces together.

Dean nuzzled their cheeks again and smiled at him. “I love you, too.”

Cas softly kissed him some more, having to keep pulling off to breathe every few seconds.

Sam made his presence known and walked past them. “You guys are gay.”

“So are you, Sam,” Cas stated, turning his head.

“I meant for each other,” Sam said.

“That’s a given, I hope,” Dean replied.

Sam laughed. “You know what I meant.”

“We need to shower,” Cas said quietly, patting Dean’s thighs.

“Yeah,” Dean stated.

“Uh, careful in the shower. The water’s cold,” Sam warned.

Dean burst out laughing. “You had to take a cold shower after watching us for five god damn minutes and expect us to believe you aren’t turned on?”

Sam gave Dean a rather large bitchface. “I’m getting dressed.”

* * *

A short while after they got everything cleaned up, Sam, Dean, and Cas sat down for dinner together. They didn’t eat at the table though–they grabbed their plates and sat on the couch snuggled up close.

All of them looked up when a knock sounded from the front door.

“I’ll get it,” Cas said, setting his plate down and getting up from the couch.

Cas opened the door and was greeted by a woman and a small boy, both bundled up in jackets. “You guys aren’t selling something in this weather, are you?”

“I wish we were,” the lady replied. “I’m sorry if I have the wrong house, but I’m looking for Dean Winchester. I was told this was his legal address, but online the only name I found attached to this address for the last few years was Sam Wesson…”

“Yes, Dean lives here,” Cas stated. “He’s here, do you want me to get him?”

“Yeah, if you could,” she replied.

“And who are you exactly?” Cas asked.

“My name is Rhonda. He owes me–well, us–child support,” she explained.

“Are you sure you have the right person?” Cas asked. “My Dean doesn’t have any kids.”

“Well, my son looks like a younger version of him,” she said, putting her hand on the boy’s hair.

Cas looked at the boy and sighed in disbelief. “I’ll go get him. You want to come in?”

“That’d be much appreciated,” Rhonda said. Cas gestured for her to come in and shut the door.

Cas left her in the entryway and went over to the couch, his cheeks flushing red with anger.

“Who is it?” Sam asked.

Cas stopped in front of Dean and stared at him. “Do you have a kid?”

Dean dropped his fork where he was sitting. “Who is it?”

“Some lady named Rhonda saying you fathered her child and owe her money,” Cas stated.

Dean groaned and set his plate down on the table and got up.

“Wait, so is it true?” Sam scoffed, following behind Dean and Cas toward the entryway.

“Always a _pleasure_ to see you again, Rhonda,” Dean drawled sarcastically, stopping in front of her and crossing his arms.

“Daddy Dean!” the boy exclaimed, running up to Dean as he saw him. Dean picked him up in his arms and smiled at him. “Hey, big guy.”

“Did you not tell your roommates that you were a father?” she laughed. “Is it because you’re so unreliable and irresponsible?”

“I sent the check,” Dean stated. “What more do you want?”

“You did not,” she said.

“Yes, I did,” Dean argued. “Do you want to see my check register? I sent it. I’ve sent you every payment on time every month.”

“Well not this month,” she replied.

Dean groaned loudly. “Do you want my check register?”

“I want the money,” she said.

“Yeah what’s new?” Dean retorted. “I sent it, Rhonda. If you don’t have it, then it got stolen or lost in the mail or something. If you want, I can start doing direct deposits into your bank or something?”

“Just give me the money. I don’t care how,” Rhonda groaned.

Dean set the boy on the floor. “I’ll go get it.”

“You should be paying a lot more than you are, too,” she grumbled. “This place is a fudging mansion.”

“It’s not Dean’s,” Sam stated. “It’s mine. It’s completely in my name.”

“Well, something must be going on here for him to live with you then. If you live here, you obviously don’t need the extra money,” she mused. “Unless he’s broke and you’re pitying him.”

“He’s not broke. I’m not pitying him. He lives here because he’s my boyfriend,” Sam said.

“Then who’s that?” Rhonda asked, looking at Cas.

“I’m his other boyfriend,” Cas stated, crouching down on the ground and looking at the little boy. “What’s your name?”

“Jeffrey Hurley,” he said.

Cas extended his hand and smiled at him. “Hi, Jeffrey. I’m Castiel Novak.”

Jeffrey hesitantly reached out and joined their hands. “Hi, Castle.”

Cas chuckled at the mispronunciation. “How old are you?”

“I’m six! I’ll be seven real soon!” Jeffrey proudly declared. “How old are you?”

Cas laughed a little. “I’m thirty-two.”

“Whoa!” Jeffrey exclaimed. “That’s such a big number!”

Sam snickered at him and got down on the boy’s level, too.

“Has anyone ever told you you look a lot like your father, Jeffrey?” he asked.

“Mommy tells me all the time when she drinks a lot of her grown up juice,” Jeffrey said.

“How do you know Dean’s your father?” Cas continued.

“Mommy told me. She says he helps pay for my food and her cigarettes,” Jeffrey stated.

“Okay, Jeffrey,” Rhonda hissed. “That’s enough.”

“Once a month and on my birthday, Daddy comes to visit with me. He takes me to the movies and then we go to the arcade!” Jeffrey exclaimed.

Dean came back into the room and held up an envelope and a wad of cash in the other. He counted it out for Rhonda and then slipped it all in the envelope. “There’s your child support. I know you need it to help give Jeffrey the life he needs, so I’m not going to deprive you of it.”

“So you guys are Daddy’s boyfriends?” Jeffrey asked, standing in the middle of Sam and Cas.

“Yeah, we are,” Cas said,

“So you guys love him?”

“We do,” Sam stated. “A whole, whole lot.”

“Can I come to your wedding?” Jeffrey asked. “I love weddings!”

“We’ll have to see about that,” Sam answered, ruffling his hair.

“Come on Jeffrey,” Rhonda ordered, putting the envelope in her purse. “It’s late.”

“I don’t want to go!” Jeffrey fought. “I want to play with Daddy Dean’s boyfriends!”

“Hey, another time,” Sam said, smiling at him. "We're not going anywhere. Go be a good boy for your mommy."

"Okay," Jeffrey pouted slowly walking back towards his mother.

Dean sighed in exasperation and looked up at the ceiling.

"Come on," Rhonda said, heading towards the door.

Jeffrey pulled away from her and ran back over to Dean, hugging his legs. “I love you, Daddy Dean.”

Dean crouched down and hugged him back. “I love you too, kid, but be nice to Mom, okay?”

Jeffrey nodded sadly.

“I’ll see you next Saturday.” Dean smiled at him and stood back up.

“Can you bring your boyfriends?” he asked.

“Maybe,” Dean answered. “I’ll see.”

“Jeffrey,” Rhonda said, sternly. “We have to go home. Grandma’s waiting.”

“Bye-bye,” Jeffrey whispered, waving at the three of them.

Sam and Cas waved back at him as Rhonda opened the door and pulled him along behind her.

As soon as the door shut, Sam and Cas both turned to Dean.

“I know I have some explaining to do–” Dean began.

“You have a kid!” Sam exclaimed. "You have a kid, Dean!"

"Yes, I do," Dean muttered.

"How? Why? Why didn't you tell us?" Cas demanded.

"Because who wants to date someone with a kid?" Dean asked. "Would’ve you still dated me if I had some toddler at home?"

"Yes," Sam and Cas both said.

Dean sighed. "No, you wouldn't have."

"Yes we would," Cas stated. "We both love kids."

Dean groaned and ran his hand through his hair.

"Even if that were the case, you could have told us eventually," Sam said. "We weren't going to break up with you because you have a kid."

"You think I wanted to take that risk?" Dean asked.

"No but I also didn't think you'd cut your own son out of your life so you could date," Cas said.

"It's not like that," Dean grumbled. "Rhonda doesn't want me to have anything to do with him, but I do."

"Why don't you ask for it, then?" Sam asked.

"I work part time, live with roommates basically, and have no reason to be a part of his life," Dean explained.

"So you never actually tried?" Sam asked.

"No," Dean sighed. "I didn't want to risk losing him completely. He's still my son."

"Do you still want him?" Sam continued.

"Of course," Dean said. "I'm his dad."

"I know some good family lawyers," Sam stated.

"No." Dean shook his head. "I don't need that."

"If you want to be with your son, I'll do it." Sam said.

Dean sighed.

"Who is she anyway?" Cas asked.

"A one night stand that I regret." Dean explained. "We were young and drinking and stupid and didn't think she'd ever get pregnant."

"That went well," Cas retorted.

"Yeah," Dean groaned. "She's always been horribly bitter with me."

"Why?" Cas asked.

"I don't know," Dean stated. "I think because I stole her life by making her have a kid."

"Well that's a shitty way to view her son," Cas said.

"She loves him, too." Dean replied. "I know that."

"How often do you see him?" Sam asked.

"Once a month. Sometimes on special occasions too," Dean replied. "As he gets older, I try to see him a little more, but Rhonda doesn't like that he even calls me his dad."

"I'll help you, Dean," Sam said. "If that's what you want."

Dean shrugged. "I sent that check by the way. I'm not delinquent on child support at all."

"I know you wouldn't be," Sam said.

"I send extra when I can," Dean added. "I want him to be taken care of."

"You know if he ever needs anything, I'd pay for it, right?" Sam offered.

Dean snorted. "I'm not that broke, Sam."

"I know, but if you ever did," Sam stated, putting his hand on Dean's shoulder.

Dean looked over at him and nodded. "Thanks."

"You know in the future," Cas said, leaning forward towards him. "You shouldn't be scared to ask for anything. From either of us."

Dean nodded again. "Okay."

Cas kissed Dean tenderly. "Anything else you'd like to tell us?"

"You in the mafia?" Sam asked. "Secretly married to the ghost of Elvis Presley?"

Dean laughed. "No, I’m not. So, you guy aren’t mad?”

Cas made a contemplative noise. “We’re….we’ll get over it.”


	6. Chapter 6

Cas hung up the phone he was using and put it back on the stand, sighing and opening one of his drawers.

He looked up as he saw movement from the corner of his eye. One of his coworkers was scooting over in his rolling chair to Cas’s desk.

“Hello, James,” Cas said, looking up at him.

“So, I heard, that you finally aren’t coming alone to the Valentine’s party this year,” he sang, resting his elbows on Cas’s desk.

“I’m not,” Cas stated.

“You bringing your wife, right?” He asked.

Cas nodded. “I’m bringing my wife.”

“I can’t wait to meet her,” James said. “We’ve been waiting for years to know anything about her.”

“She’s amazing,” Cas replied. “I’m sure you’ll love her.”

“So who’s the second person you’re bringing?” he continued.

“Just one of my friends,” Cas lied. “We’ve known each other a while and he’s always asking what my coworkers are like.”

“Did you tell him that we’re charming and perfect?” James asked.

Cas rolled his eyes at him. “Why would I lie to him like that?”

“Ouch,” James chuckled.

Cas’s stomach turned inside him, anxiety hitting him. He’d just sealed in his fate. He was coming out tomorrow. Both as gay, and as in a polyamorous relationship. He wasn’t ready.

“I gotta get back to work, but make sure Mrs. Novak knows that I want to hear dirt.” James said.

Cas laughed nervously. “I’ll tell her.”

* * *

By lunch time, everyone had heard and was excited about Cas’s wife. Even her name had been veiled in mystery to them and they all were ecstatic to know they were going to get to meet the evasive woman.

Someone once started a rumor that Anna was Cas’s sister because they ran into the two of them in public, but Cas cleared that up pretty quickly. It was exhausting though, hearing everyone get so excited over a lie–over a woman who doesn’t exist and who never will.

By day’s end, Cas was drained and nervous and just wanted to go home to his “wife”.

“Are you okay, dear?” A woman asked, walking up to Cas as he walked out to his car. “You seem out of it today.”

Cas turned around and saw one of his closest friends in the workplace. He didn’t really have friends, but Elizabeth was an older lady who’d worked for the company her whole life and Cas talked to her a lot.

“I’m–I’m fine,” Cas stated.

“Are you?” she asked.

Cas sighed deeply.

“Is this about your wife?” she continued.

“Yeah,” Cas groaned. “I’m nervous to introduce my personal life to my work one.”

“Whyso? We’re only coworkers,” she said.

“It’s–” Cas reached up and rubbed his chin with his hand. “I don’t have a wife.”

“How?” she asked. “You have the ring.”

“It’s fake,” Cas stated.

“Why do you tell everyone you have a wife, then?”

“Because–” Cas took a deep breath and looked down at his feet. “–because I don’t want them to know I have a boyfriend.”

“Oh,” she breathed. “So who are you bringing to dinner actually?”

“Their names are Sam and Dean,” Cas stated.

“Which one’s your boyfriend?” she asked.

“Both of them,” Cas answered. “Both.”

“How does that work?”

“I started dating Dean and he let me know he was dating on the side as well because we weren’t exclusive yet, but that if I wanted him to stop, he would,” Cas explained. “Well, on the side, he was dating Sam, but I never told him to stop. Knowing Dean had Sam took the pressure off me. And then when I wanted Dean to move in with me, I told him he could bring Sam. And then Sam fell in love with me and I fell in love with him and we got a house of our own together and that’s where we are now.”

“So, you all love each other?” she continued.

“Exactly.” Cas nodded. “I love both of them more than anything.”

“Well, I hope it goes well.” she replied, stepping back.

“Me, too,” Cas sighed.

“I don’t get it, but if you’re happy, then no one should care,” she said.

“Thanks,” Cas whispered. “I wish everyone felt the same.”

“Me, too,” she replied, patting his arm. “See you tomorrow, Castiel.”

“See you,” Cas muttered, walking towards his parking spot.

* * *

Cas unlocked the door and entered the house, shutting and locking it behind him.

“Hi, babe,” Dean said, pouring some seasoning into a pot.

Cas saw him and ran towards him. Dean set the seasoning flakes down and Cas hugged him tightly, burying his face in Dean’s neck.

“Hi,” Cas whispered as Dean hugged him back. “Long day.”

“What happened?” Dean asked, letting him go.

“Everyone’s all excited because they’re finally going to meet my wife tomorrow,” Cas said. “I feel bad about lying and I’m scared that they’re going to hate me when they find out.”

Dean sighed and turned around to turn the stove off. “They’re not going to hate you.”

“You don’t know that,” Cas stated.

“You’re a good employee and an even better friend,” Dean said. “No one is going to hate you because you’re gay.”

“Gay and screwing two men,” Cas added.

“No one is going to hate you for being gay and polyamorous either,” Dean replied.

“No one even knows that word,” Cas said. “Besides, I don’t think any of us actually identify that way–it just happened.”

“That’s true,” Dean mused. “But we still are in a polyamorous relationship.”

Cas nodded. “No matter what you call it, I don’t think people are going to support it.”

“Then why do you want to come out to them?” Dean asked.

“Because I need to,” Cas said. “Even if we’re just co-workers, I feel bad living a lie. I don’t like the idea of them thinking I’m a social hermit with no life either.”

“Well that last part might be true,” Dean teased.

Cas smiled tensely and went to hug Dean again.

“Want me to run you a bath? Shower?” Dean offered. “Anything?”

“A shower would be nice,” Cas said, looking up at him. “Would you?”

“Of course,” Dean replied, moving the pot of soup he was cooking off the burner and onto another part of the stove. “Come on.”

Dean and Cas went upstairs and went into their bedroom where Sam was working on his laptop.

“You need a shower?” Dean asked.

“Why?” Sam replied, looking up, his face lighting up as he saw his boyfriends. “Hey, Cas.”

“Cas had a shit day. I’m running a shower. Don’t want to waste water,” Dean said.

Sam nodded. “Yeah, sure. I was going to wait until later, but I can keep Cas company.”

“Awesome,” Dean replied, heading towards the bathroom. Cas went in there with him and Dean pushed aside the curtain so he could start running the water.

“Stop,” Cas said.

Dean looked up at him, puzzled. “Why?”

Cas grabbed Dean from behind and pinned him up against the bathroom counter. “Because that wasn’t the type of shower I meant, Dean.”

Dean groaned loudly and looked at him. “Seriously, Cas?”

“What?” Cas shrugged.

Dean sighed and laughed. “You sly bastard.”

“Who’s a sly bastard?” Sam asked, stepping into the bathroom with them.

  
“Cas, who else?” Dean stated. “He dragged me all the way up here to ask me to pee on him.”

“What is it with you guys?” Sam scoffed.

“Hey, it’s not both of us,” Dean replied. “My intentions were pure.”

“Are they still pure?” Cas asked, pushing his hand down Dean’s pants. Dean gasped and grabbed Cas’s arm, but didn’t move it.

“No,” Dean whispered.

Sam made a gagging noise.

“Come on,” Cas sang, walking backwards and pulling Dean with him. Cas pulled Dean along into the shower and then took his hand out of Dean’s pants. He unbuckled Dean’s belt and unzipped his pants, and then knelt down at Dean’s feet.

Dean stared at him in shock. “I can not believe you’re doing this right now. I can not believe _you_ of all people is doing this right now.”

“Why?” Cas asked.

“Why?” Dean laughed. “A week ago you wouldn’t have believed it either, that’s why.”

“Maybe my enjoyment is getting in the way of my shame?” Cas suggested.

Dean pulled himself out of his pants and looked at him. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” Cas said.

Sam pushed the shower curtain back so he could see and gave both of them a judgmental look. “What, one of you just asks and the other one whips it out and pisses on you?”

“Sure, why not?” Dean shrugged. “We’re adults. We can do what we want.”

“It’s weird, Dean,” Sam stated.

“If it’s so weird, then why did you make an excuse to come watch at the very last second?” Dean asked.

“That’s not what I was doing,” Sam replied. “Stop seeing what you want to see.”

“Well, don’t like it, don’t watch,” Dean said, smirking at Sam as he started pissing.

Sam didn’t move or look away.

“That’s what I thought,” Dean muttered, Cas smiling up at him as his shirt started to cling onto his skin from the wetness.

What Dean got out paled extremely to their experiments the week prior, but it was enough to make Cas happy. And fairly wet. Cas sat for a moment and just squeezed his shirt in his hands, making pee run out and over his skin some more.

“Are you happy now?” Dean finally asked.

Cas nodded. “Yes,”

“Good, I have to finish dinner,” Dean said, tucking himself back into his pants and beginning to zip up.

Cas looked up at Sam expectantly and Sam laughed.

“No,” Sam drawled. “No, no, no, no, and nope.”

“You don’t have to pee on me, Sam,” Cas said, Dean re-securing his belt off to the side. “Let me help _you_.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

Cas grabbed onto the railing installed into the shower and pulled himself up to a stand and then grabbed Sam tightly through his pants.

“Show the guy a good time, Sam,” Dean said, patting Sam on the shoulder as he stepped out of the shower.

“Fine,” Sam huffed. “You have to wash yourself first though.”

Cas groaned at him and began taking his clothes off. “That takes the fun out of everything.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Sam stated, beginning to undress himself.

As soon as Cas was undressed, he put the shower water on and began rinsing himself off. Sam sat on the ledge of the shower behind him, waiting.

"Happy now?" Cas asked, turning and facing him.

"Did you use soap?" Sam replied.

"Soap?" Cas frowned. "I don't want to have to use soap twice. It's drying to my skin."

"That's your excuse? It's drying?" Sam laughed.

"It's not an excuse. I like my skin healthy and smooth." Cas replied.

Sam scoffed and stood up. "Fine."

Cas smiled and moved out from the spray of the water and towards Sam. Sam grabbed Cas by his hips and pulled him up against him, kissing him forcefully. Sam dug his fingertips into the soft areas of skin at Cas’s sides and he walked Cas back through the shower water and up against the wall.

“Fuck me,” Cas whispered.

“You want me to fuck you?” Sam groaned, pinning him harder against the wall.

“Make me scream, Sam,” Cas begged, exhaling shakily and looking up towards the water.

Cas grunted as Sam grabbed him and spun him around, slamming him up against the tiled wall.

“Is that what you want?” Sam asked, shoving two fingers up inside of him.

Cas gasped and nodded. “Yes.”

“Good,” Sam replied, taking his fingers out and lining his dick up instead. Sam slowly pushed his way inward, stopping every few moments to let Cas adjust. Both Cas and Dean had trouble taking him all at once. He was larger than the average man by quite a bit, which had its benefits and its drawbacks.

Sam got himself all the way in and stood there for a moment, still. “You good?”

Cas nodded. “I’m good.”

Sam immediately began thrusting into Cas, pushing him harder against the wall. Cas groaned with each impact, head turned and cheek pressed to the cool tile. Sam leaned over and kissed him sloppily, their lips not quite matching up. Sam fucked Cas roughly, pushing inward with a blunt force that Dean didn’t use much, their boyfriend preferring more gentle and subtle movements.

Cas moaned with every inward push and Sam grabbed him by the hips again and pulled him against him. Cas moaned louder as he did that and Sam pulled at his lip with his teeth.

As Sam started speeding up the pace, Cas cried out louder and higher, his voice beginning to shake and crack at points.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Dean looked towards the direction of the bedroom and whistled as he heard the two of them going at it.

Sam moaned and panted into Cas’s ear as he rutted into him. Cas had his hands placed on the wall above him, his fingers starting to ball into fists from the sensations.

Cas felt a small pressure building and he forced himself to repress it. Sam continued to push into him and manhandle him, his hands roaming up and down Cas’s back and sides. Sam kept going like this, fucking him and drawing his name from Cas’s lips with each movement.

“Sam,” Cas whimpered, his fingernails digging into the palms of his own hands. “I can’t go much longer.”

“Me neither,” Sam replied, breathing heavily against Cas’s face. Sam pushed his hand between Cas and the wall, gently stroking him. Cas squirmed and whined as Sam played with him and Sam slid his hand up his shaft quicker.

Sam knew when Cas came immediately. Cas tightened up around him and moaned with a very distinctive sound. Sam pulled out from him and Cas turned around and put his back on the wall, taking a moment to gather himself before he went to get Sam off.

No sooner than Cas had gotten his hand wrapped around Sam, he stumbled forward and then came onto Cas’s stomach. Cas let go of him and Sam collapsed on top of Cas.

Cas reached up and held Sam, his hands on Sam’s back.

“Scream enough?” Sam asked, an amused drawl to his words.

“Yeah,” Cas replied, kissing his jawline. “For sure.”

Sam kissed him back on the lips and stood back up. Cas moved away from the wall and took a deep breath, standing under the spray of water from the shower head.

Sam stood behind him and hugged him, tenderly kissing the side of his neck as the water ran over the both of them. Cas put his hands on top of Sam’s on his chest and stood there in serenity with him.

After a moment, Cas turned around in Sam’s embrace and kissed him on the lips, his movements slow and uncoordinated.

Cas waited for Sam to let go of him before heading towards the door.

“Wait, but you’re not going to clean off?” Sam asked.

“I don’t feel like it,” Cas said.

“But, you didn’t even use soap once,” Sam replied.

“It won’t kill me,” Cas said. “I’ll just have smoother skin than you.”

Sam snorted as Cas pushed open the shower door and stepped onto the bathmat.

“I’ll be right out,” Sam said, reaching for the soap. “I’m cleaning off like a normal person.”

“Shut up,” Cas laughed, grabbing the towel off the rack and going to brush his hair in the mirror.

When Sam was done with the shower, he went into the bedroom and Cas was asleep on the bed. He’d gotten his underwear on and had the pants laying next to him, but he must have laid down for some reason and forgot to stay awake.

Sam sat on the next next to him and brushed his hair back with his hand a few times before bending over and kissing him on the forehead. Sam got back up and pulled the sheets away from the bed and then picked Cas up and tucked him in.

Sam turned off the lights in the room and put on the pair of pants Cas had lying out.

When Sam left the room, Dean was heading up the stairs.

“I was wondering if you guys ran away together,” Dean said, meeting him halfway and smiling at him.

Sam shook his head. “Cas passed out. For the night, I think.”

“Jesus, Sam, what’d you do to him?” Dean asked.

“Nothing he didn’t ask me to,” Sam replied.

Dean chuckled and went back down the stairs. “I guess I’ll put his serving back into the pot and put it in the fridge.”

“What’d you make?” Sam asked.

“Vegetable stew, nothing fancy,” Dean answered.

“If you made it, it’s going to be fancy,” Sam stated.

“Okay, that’s a fair assumption,” Dean said.

* * *

After dinner, Sam and Dean both decided to get ready for bed. Sam went into the bathroom and went over to the toilet, but stopped.

He’d be lying if he said he was turned off by everything Dean and Cas had been doing lately. It started making him curious. Dean and Cas were both going to be asleep and he didn’t have work the next day, if he wanted to _experiment_ with anything, tonight was as good a night as any.

Sam stepped away from the toilet and instead reached for one of the water glasses they kept by the sink. He filled it up to the top and drank it down all the way.

“Are you coming to bed?” Dean asked, stepping in as he filled it up again.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam whispered. “I’ll be right there.”

“Alright, I’m heading in right now, “ Dean stated.

“Okay,” Sam replied, holding the glass in his hand and not drinking it until Dean had left. He didn’t really want to drink anymore, but if he was going to do this tonight, he should do it as quick as possible. He drank one last glass and then went and got into bed with his boyfriends. He’d lay there for a little bit until Dean was asleep, and then play on his phone a bit until he figured out if he wanted to try experimenting with anything or not.

Sam laid on one side with Dean in the middle and Cas on the other side. Dean and Cas had already clung onto each other, both being the cuddle-hungry men they were. Sam was cuddle-hungry, too, but he went easy on it so he wouldn’t have to get himself out of a weird position once Dean fell asleep.

“I love you, Sam,” Dean whispered, looking over his shoulder as he felt Sam’s weight shift into the bed.

“I love you too, Dean,” Sam replied, leaning over and kissing him on the lips before bringing a leg and an arm overtop of Dean and getting involved in the cuddle mess. Now just to wait for Dean to fall asleep, which shouldn’t take long.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *writes a 6.2k chapter in a night*  
> Also me: *can't find the time in the following week to proof-read and upload it*
> 
> I've been busy working on preparing for PhoenixCon, so this is gonna be my last update until after the weekend. I have more chapters ready, but they haven't been proof-read and I don't want to get too far ahead of myself. For some reason AO3 won't update it, but there's 11 planned chapters for this. So just a few more.

Sam woke up the next morning, arms wrapped around Dean, legs tangled together. Simply put, he was happy. His face was nestled into the crook of Dean’s neck and Dean had his hand in his hair, holding him there. Sam pulled back against him and made a small murmuring sound.

“You awake?” Dean whispered.

“Yes,” Sam replied, opening his eyes and seeing the bed empty beside them. “Where’s Cas?”

“Getting dressed,” Dean stated.

“I slept in?” Sam asked.

“We both did,” Dean said.

Sam pried himself away from Dean and laid flat on his back and looked over at Cas, standing in his underwear and putting on a button-up shirt.

“Morning, Cas,” Sam called.

Cas walked over and kissed him. “Good morning, Sam.” Cas put his hand on Sam’s forehead and moved his hair out of his face and kissed him again.

“Today’s the day,” Sam hummed, smiling up at him. “Are you ready for tonight?”

Cas took a deep breath and smiled. “I guess we’ll find out sooner or later.”

Cas turned back towards his closet and Sam slowly pushed the blankets off. He stood up and Dean started giggling. Sam looked at him and then looked down at himself and made a horrified shriek. The underwear he’d put on before bed were wet and so was the bed and Dean and the blankets. Sam immediately remembered all his plans for the night before, and then remembered accidentally falling asleep.

Cas turned to see what they were laughing at and started laughing too, wrapping an arm around Sam’s shoulders and laughing into his neck.

“What with you guys?” Sam scoffed. “This is horrible.”

Dean felt bad and tried to stop himself from laughing. “We don’t care.”

“Oh, God,” Sam groaned, going to try and get the sheets off the bed. “Fuck, how did this happen?”

“Well, you had too much to drink, did too much sleeping,” Dean said.

Sam glared at him as he pulled Dean over to the edge of the bed with the sheets. “God dammit.”

“Calm down, Sam,” Cas said softly, standing behind him and kissing his neck. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s a big deal!” Sam snapped turning around to face him.

“No.” Cas shook his head. “You think your two boyfriends who enjoy pissing on each other are going to tell you to continue overreacting?”

“Don’t remind me that’s a thing you two do,” Sam grumbled, pulling away from him and wadding the sheets up in his arms. “God dammit, it’s on the mattress!”

“The mattress will be fine,” Cas stated. “Stop freaking out.”

“I’m–I’m a grown man, Cas,” Sam growled. “Grown men don’t pee the bed.”

Cas put his hands on Sam’s shoulders. “You’re fine, Sam. Breathe.” Cas did a deep inhale and waited for Sam to follow him. “Let it out slowly.”

Sam took a few more angry breaths and Cas kissed him on the cheek. “Atta boy, Sam.”

* * *

Cas stood in front of the cafeteria at work, staring at the doors in front of him. “I’m doing it, guys.”

“You’re doing it,” Dean replied.

“I’m so nervous,” Cas groaned. “Do I look okay?”

“You look amazing,” Dean said, kissing him reassuringly.

“You do,” Sam added.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Cas stated. “Is it too late to tell everyone you’re my cousins?”

The cafeteria door opened and one of his coworkers smiled at him. “Castiel!”

“I think that’s a yes,” Dean whispered, hitting Cas on the back to make him stumble forward inside the cafeteria.

“Hi!” Cas replied, forcing a smile at the man in front of him.

“So where’s your wife?” he asked.

Castiel stared at him silently for a moment before coming up with an answer. “She got sick last minute and couldn’t come, so I brought two of my friends instead.”

“Aw, it’s a shame to hear that,” his coworker sighed. “We were all so excited to get to meet her.”

“Yeah, she was really looking forward to it, too,” Cas sighed. “Next time though.”

“We’re never gonna get to meet her at this rate,” he replied.

“It’ll happen,” Cas said, walking past him with Sam and Dean behind him.

They headed towards three open seats with Cas’s name in the middle of them. No one was really sitting down and rather choosing to mingle and socialize. The three of them left their belongings at their places and stood by their seats, talking amongst each other.

“I can’t do this,” Cas whispered. “I can’t come out.”

“Yes, you can,” Sam replied, giving him a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Cas reached up and touched his hand and sighed.

“It’s just there’s so many people and what if they all hate me after this?”

“They’re not going to hate you,” Dean stated. “That’s impossible.”

“I hate me,” Cas said.

“No, you don’t,” Dean snorted. “You’re going to come out tonight and people are going to accept you and you’re going to love it.”

“You don’t know that,” Cas groaned.

“Cas, people are more progressive now,” Sam stated. “You have rights, you have freedom. Don’t worry too much.”

Cas sighed in exasperation as another one of his coworkers grabbed him from behind.

“Castiel!” she exclaimed.

“Linda.” Cas smiled at her and she patted him on the arm.

“Where’s your wife?” Linda asked.

“Sick.” Cas said. “I brought my friends, Sam and Dean with me instead.”

“Hi,” she said towards them. “Linda. I work in HR.”

“Don’t they all,” Dean mused. “I’m Dean. That’s Sam.”

“If you boys are in the market, we’ve got some fine bachelorettes here,” Linda said.

“Linda,” Cas groaned. “They’re not trying to pick anyone up.”

“I’m just putting the option out there,” Linda replied.

“Appreciated, but not necessary,” Sam said, smiling at her.

“I’m gonna go let everyone know you’re here,” Linda stated, turning and scurrying off.

“It’s gonna be a night, isn’t it?” Dean asked .

Cas nodded. “Work parties are always an adventure.”

“My Castiel!” another co-worker exclaimed, going up to him.

Cas turned and recognized her. “Hi, Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth smiled and stood on her tip-toes to hug him.

“Are these your boyfriends?” she whispered, looking at Sam and Dean.

“Yes,” Castiel replied.

“Oh, well now I see why you have two,” she stated. “Look at them! I’d want both, too.”

“Thank you,” Sam and Dean both said.

“Are you still going to tell everyone tonight?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Cas replied. “It’s scary.”

“I’ll beat them all with my husband’s cane if they give you shit for it, alright?” Elizabeth said.

Cas laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.”

The three of them joined the larger group of people and talked with them for a bit, Sam and Dean making good impressions on a majority of the co-workers. When dinner was ready, it was wheeled into the room on a buffet style table.

Everyone was sitting and beginning to eat when Cas turned to Dean and then looked over at Sam on his other side.

“Is now a good time?” Cas asked quietly.

“I think so,” Dean said.

“Me, too,” Sam replied.

Cas nodded at both of them and downed the glass of wine in front of him. He nervously stood up at the table and people looked towards him.

“I have–” Cas cut himself off and cleared his throat and spoke a little louder. “I have an announcement to make. About my wife.”

“You’re divorced aren’t you?” someone nearby asked.

“No, no we’re not,” Cas replied, his hand shaking a little. “My wife isn’t here and will never be here because–”

“You’re a widower, then?” someone else said.

“No, I’m not.” Cas shook his head at him and then looked down at Sam and Dean. “My wife and I aren’t divorced, she isn’t dead, but she’s also not real.”

The crowd made a quiet gasp and Cas continued. “Because I’m gay. And the amazing men I brought with me tonight–I’m in love with them. Sam and Dean are my boyfriends.”

Everyone seemed shocked and confused and Cas awaited a reaction.

“I couldn’t lie about it anymore,” Cas added quietly. “That’s all.”

Cas sat down and Dean put his hand on Cas’s back and smiled at him.

“Congratulations!” someone yelled, starting to clap. Cas looked up and smiled.

The others joined in and started clapping and cheering for him and Cas grinned as he watched them. Sam reached over and hugged Cas, pulling him into his chest. When Cas pulled away he was still smiling and started crying.

“No one’s ever accepted me before,” Cas breathed. “Thank you, all.”

After his first helping of dinner, Cas left to use the restroom. Dean went with him.

“You did it, Cas,” he said.

“I know!” Cas exclaimed, facing him and jumping. “I did it!”

“And no one hates you,” Dean stated.

“That I know of,” Cas replied.

“No one hates you,” Dean said, kissing him on the lips. Cas kissed him back and Dean put his hand on Cas’s thigh and rubbed the inside of his leg.

“Dean,” Cas gasped, grabbing his hand.

“Come on,” Dean said, letting go of Cas and taking him by the hand and walking.

“Dean!” Cas protested. “What are you doing?”

“You said you wanted to do things in public and fuck at work, didn’t you?” Dean asked. “It’s on my phone.”

“Oh, God,” Cas sighed, Dean pulling them out the employee exit and out to the deserted smoking area behind the building. “Dean, what if someone catches us?”

“They won’t,” Dean said. “They’re all busy talking. No one’s going to bother using the employee exit for a smoke anyways. It’s after hours, they’ll just go outside normally.”

Cas made an unsure sound and glared at him. “You’re going to owe me for this.”

“For what?” Dean asked. “Giving you what you want? Take off your pants.”

“I didn’t ask for _my_ work explicitly,” Cas said.

“I’m a chef, Cas. Not many places we can fuck there,” Dean replied.

“And there is here?” Cas countered, quickly undoing his pants.

“Well, I’d say yes,” Dean stated. “Considering we’re about to make do with the smoking patio.”

Cas laughed as he grabbed onto the wall for stability as he lifted his leg to get the pants off. “This better be worth it.”

“It will be,” Dean said, crouching down and helping Cas out of his other pant leg. Dean draped his pants over the wall and started kissing him. Cas put his hands on Dean’s hips and kissed him back, Dean pressing him up against the wall.

“You know it’s kindof hard for me to fuck you in this position,” Cas muttered.

“Who said we were _only_ fucking out here?” Dean replied.

“What are you talking about?” Cas asked.

“Cas,” Dean whispered, dragging his thumb over Cas’s bottom lip. “I want you to piss yourself.”

Cas exhaled shakily and shook his head. “No, you’re kidding me.”

“You were on your way to the bathroom were you not?” Dean replied.

“Yeah, but–Dean!” Cas protested. “We’re in public.”

“Exactly,” Dean said, rubbing Cas through his boxer briefs. “But, you put your pants back on and no one will know what you just did. Only we will know.”

“It’s risky,” Cas said. “What if my pants get wet?”

“They won’t,” Dean stated. “But if they do, they’re dark so it won’t show.”

Cas exhaled slowly, moaning lightly as Dean grabbed him firmly. “Okay, I’ll do it. But you are going to owe me so much.”

“Oh, will I?” Dean taunted, stepping away from him.

Cas nodded and smiled at him.

“Do it,” Dean ordered, unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out, slowly stroking himself.

Cas watched his movements lustfully as he began wetting himself. He wanted to tease Dean and let it out slowly, but he was so nervous and scared of someone finding them that it came out full-force instead. Dean was almost shocked at the immediate start, Cas spreading his legs a little to show off. Pee ran out of his underwear and down his legs, dripping onto the cement below. Dean stroked himself a little faster, watching Cas grab at himself and moan.

“I bet you can’t wait to get home and fuck. I’ll be damned if I’ll give it to you right now.” Cas said, smiling up at Dean.

“You bet right,” Dean replied, advancing up to him. Dean grabbed Cas’s hair and pulled his head to the side, kissing his neck roughly. Dean pressed himself up against Cas, but was careful to watch where he was touching so he’d stay ~~mostly~~ dry. “Get on your knees.”

Cas pulled back and kissed him on the lips before sliding downwards. Cas grabbed Dean’s cock and slid it into his mouth, taking him in with glee. Dean moaned at the way Cas’s mouth felt, so warm and inviting.

“Where’d Castiel go?” someone asked, walking up behind Sam.

“Um, you know I’m not sure,” Sam replied. “I thought he was just heading to the bathroom. He should be back any second, I’m sure.”

“Maybe that lasagna was a bit undercooked,” she replied. “It’s not sitting well with all of us.”

“Maybe,” Sam snorted, taking out his phone. He shot Dean a text quickly.

_Are you with Cas? Where did you two go?_

Dean’s phone went off in his pocket and he retrieved it, looking at the notification. “Our dear boyfriend wants to know where we went.”

“Are you going to tell him?” Cas asked, pulling away from Dean and licking his lips.

“Why don’t we show him?” Dean said, holding the phone over Cas’s face. “Smile.”

Cas smiled with an open mouth and sat the head of Dean’s cock on his tongue. Dean laughed and sent the response to Sam. “Think he’ll like that?”

“I do,” Cas replied, taking Dean back into his mouth.

Cas stayed on the ground, working Dean with his mouth in the dark behind his office building until he’d made Dean come. Cas used his hand to get Dean all the way through his orgasm until all the come was in his mouth. Dean stood above him panting and Cas looked up at him and showed him his mouth, the sticky white substance visible on his tongue. Cas smiled at Dean and stood back up and then went in to kiss him.

Cas kissed him and forced the come back into his mouth. Cas pulled away, a small string of come stuck between their mouths. Cas wiped it aside, along with some around his lips and looked back at Dean. Dean looked to the side and Cas grabbed his face, a firm hand holding him by the jaw.

“Uh-uh,” Cas said sternly with a shake of his head and stepping closer to him. “Swallow.”

Dean kept looking at him as he swallowed, Cas watching the muscles in his throat contract before letting go.

“Good boy,” Cas whispered, kissing him again and then going to grab his pants.

Dean got his composure back together and made himself presentable again as Cas stepped out of the wet puddle he’d created and put his pants back on. They were a fairly thick suiting material so nothing should soak through as long as Cas was careful. Cas was still hard–achingly so–but he knew Dean had something in store for him. He was probably going to make him squirm the entire time until they left and then do something absolutely ludicrous as soon as they got home.

The two of them went back into the cafeteria together and sat down next to Sam. Sam glared at them both, extremely done with their bullshit.

“I can not believe you two,” Sam whispered. “You’re at work, for fucks sake.”

“See, nothing can stop you when it’s the right time,” Dean replied.

“It was not the right time,” Sam stated. “I hate you. Nothing is sacred.”

“My erection right now is sacred,” Cas muttered.

“Why do you–” Sam looked down at Cas’s lap and saw the bulge in his pants. “Did you suck his dick and then leave?”

“Basically,” Cas answered.

Sam groaned and rolled his eyes.

“You know, I’m an idiot,” Dean laughed. “All that time, I didn’t actually use the bathroom in the first place. I’ll be right back.”

“And you did?” Sam asked, looking at Cas.

Cas giggled and Sam made a gagging noise. “I’d tell you to go get dessert, but I don’t want anyone to see your hard-on. What do you want?”

“Ice cream?” Cas asked. “Do they have that?”

“Chocolate or vanilla?” Sam replied.

“A little bit of both,” Cas stated. “Thank you, Sam.”

“Don’t act so coy,” Sam grumbled, getting up from the table and leaving Cas alone with two chairs next to him empty.

Dean went into the bathroom and went up to a urinal, unzipping his fly and pulling himself out. He heard the door open behind him and someone walk past. Suddenly, he felt hands going down his back and over onto his hips.

“Sam,” he laughed. “Did you change your mind?”

“Not Sam,” a man said.

Dean immediately jumped and turned around, shoving him off. “What the fuck?”

“You’re in one of those open relationships, aren’t you?” he replied.

“No!” Dean exclaimed, stopping himself from continuing to pee once he realized he wasn’t facing a urinal anymore. He angrily put himself back into his pants and looked at the man in front of him. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“My wife and I always wanted a threesome and you’re just what we like,” he stated.

“Well, you aren’t what I like,” Dean replied. “Sorry, I like brunettes–oh yeah! And people who don’t start assaulting people while they’re trying to take a piss.”

“Sorry, dude, I thought you would be cool with it,” he scoffed.

“Cool?” Dean groaned. “No! I don’t sleep around!”

“You’re in an open relationship though. You’ve got two boyfriends,” he argued.

“I’m not in an open relationship, you half-wit, acting like Donald-Trump, creepy fuck,” Dean stated. “I’m dating two men. I’m in love with two men. Those two men love each other, too. It’s polyamory, not an open relationship.”

“They’re the same thing, _half-wit_ ,” the man countered.

“No, they’re not, now fuck off and leave me alone,” Dean said. “I just want to pee and then go get dessert.”

“Fucking prude.”

“No, I’m fucking loyal,” Dean snapped, the man narrowing his eyes at him and storming out of the room. “Jesus fucking Christ. People, man.”

Dean turned back towards the urinal and finished what he was doing and then returned back out to Sam and Cas.

“You okay?” Sam asked, seeing his expression.

“Fine,” Dean huffed. “Some guy just assaulted me in the bathroom because he thought I’d want to have a threesome with him and his wife.”

“What do you mean he assaulted you?” Cas growled. “Are you okay?”

“He just felt me up, I’m fine,” Dean replied, looking across the room. “Asshole in the red jacket who thinks he’s some shit.”

Cas followed his gaze. “Ah, him. I fucking hate him.”

“Me, too,” Dean said. “I feel like I need a shower. He thought he could argue with me about my own relationship.”

“What do you mean?” Cas asked.

“He kept telling me that I was in an open relationship because I’m dating two men when in reality, our relationship is very much not open,” Dean explained.

“Asshole Jerry,” Cas muttered. “That’s _definitley_ something he would say. Sorry.”

Cas kissed Dean’s cheek softly. “Want me to kick his ass tomorrow?”

Dean shook his head. “Nah, let him suffer here.”

“He makes less than me anyways,” Cas whispered.

“Good,” Dean snickered, turning and kissing Cas on the lips. “He deserves less.”

Cas turned back to his heaping bowl of ice cream and picked up another spoonful.

“You deserve more though,” Dean whispered, sliding his hand into Cas’s lap beneath the table. Cas made a tiny squeak as Dean firmly pressed his hand against the bulge in Cas’s pants. Sam looked over at them and scoffed when he saw Dean’s arm extending towards Cas.

“You guys are asking to get caught,” Sam stated. “And when you do, I had no part in this.”

Cas snickered and continued to try and eat the ice cream normally, internally cursing when he saw Elizabeth headed in their direction.

Dean made sure his arm was hidden under the table completely and continued to rub Cas.

“I saw you three making eyes at Asshole Jerry over there,” Elizabeth stated, sitting down across from them.

“That’s actually his name?” Sam asked.

“Is it ever,” Elizabeth remarked. “He say something nasty to you guys? Need to me get Al’s cane and show him who runs this place?”

Cas laughed. “That won’t be necessary. He just was _relentlessly_ hitting on sweet Dean over here.”

“Hitting on him?” she raised her eyebrows. “That says something about Asshole Jerry for sure.”

“Yeah, couldn’t even take a pee without him all over me,” Dean said.

“He touched you?” Elizabeth scoffed. “I’m getting Al’s cane for sure!”

“Let Asshole Jerry live,” Dean stated. “His time will come.”

“I sure can make it come quicker if you want,” Elizabeth offered, Dean pressing firmer into Cas’s pants. Cas was trying to disguise his heavy breathing by chewing, but it wasn’t working well. “You doing okay there, son?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Cas croaked. “Just, when I get too full it’s a bit hard to breathe, that’s all.”

“Okay, kid. If you say so, ” she replied.

And then Cas could feel it. It was building up and just _right there_ and Dean was bringing him closer and closer. Cas moaned as he felt himself start to come so he quickly covered it up by shoving a large spoon of ice cream into his mouth.

Elizabeth stared at him in confusion.

“Mmmm,” Cas hummed, looking at the bowl. “This ice cream is so good.”

His pants were definitely wet with something more than pee now.

“Oh, isn’t it?” she replied. “It’s to die for.”

“For sure,” Cas laughed.

“Nice save,” Dean whispered, moving his hand away.

* * *

“Okay,” Sam finally said, looking over at Cas and Dean in the rearview mirror at the stop light. They were all over each other in the backseat, kissing and grabbing, seatbelt be damned. “What did you do and where did you go?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Dean purred, pulling off of Cas’s neck and looking up at Sam in the mirror.

“Yeah, I would. I’m curious,” Sam stated.

“Well, I took Cas around back, out to the employee smoking area,” Dean began, sliding forward on the seat and leaning up next to Sam’s ear. “And I took off his pants and I made him piss himself.”

“You what?” Sam scoffed.

“I made him piss himself,” Dean repeated. “Didn’t I, Cas?”

“Yes,” Cas stated.

“I made him pee all over himself knowing at any moment someone could come through those doors,” Dean said. “And then he got on his knees and he sucked me off.”

“I know that part,” Sam replied, one hand moving off the steering wheel and down to his lap. Dean took notice and smiled.

“He sucked me so good, Sam. You know how he uses his hands, I love that. He licked me and sucked me and he just did it so hard, so good,” Dean whispered, speaking right into Sam’s ear. “And then when I came, he took it all. Not one drop went to waste. He milked me and got his mouth full of my come.”

Sam gasped as he fondled himself at the stop-light.

“And then he stood up, Sam,” Dean growled. “And he kissed me, and he made me swallow it.”

Sam exhaled shakily as they began driving again, heading towards their neighborhood.

“So he sat through the rest of dinner with wet underwear, filled with his own come once I got him off, too,” Dean stated. “And now he’s a sticky, wet mess.”

Dean kissed the side of Sam’s face and Sam quickly kissed him back, not wanting to take his eyes off the road too long. “When we get home, do you want to fuck me?”

“Yeah.” Sam nodded vigorously.

“Are you gonna take your giant cock out and shove it in my ass, Sam?” Dean asked.

Sam nodded again.

“Don’t get him too worked up,” Cas drawled. “We can’t have sex if we all get in a car accident and die on the way home.”

“I’m not going to crash the car,” Sam scoffed. “I’m used to our boyfriend fucking with me while I drive.”

“Yeah, Cas,” Dean countered. “Besides, whenever he drives, you give him road head.”

“Road head is different,” Cas stated.

“No, it’s not,” Sam replied, turning down a residential street.

“This isn’t our street, Sam,” Dean said, looking around.

“I know,” Sam said, turning onto a dirt alleyway between houses and stopping the car. “I can’t wait until we get home.”

“Oh,” Dean laughed, Sam putting the car into park and undoing his seatbelt. “ _Oh_.”

Cas scooted over to the passenger’s seat and Dean went back to his place. “Cas, get these pants off me.”

Dean began unzipping his pants and Cas helped pull them off, taking his shoes and socks off in the mean time.

Sam stood outside the car with the driver’s side door open, undoing his belt so he could get his pants off. “Why do you do this to me, Dean?”

“You grabbed your dick first,” Dean countered, assisting Cas in removing his pants. Dean crawled forward and pushed his hands down the front of Cas’s damp underwear. “You really came in here didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Cas replied, letting Dean press him against the side of the car and kiss him.

“God, you horny little whore,” Dean growled, taking his hand out of Cas’s underwear and wiping the come off his fingers on Cas’s shirt.

“I am, and it’s all your fault,” Cas stated, reaching to unbutton his shirt.

Dean pushed his hands away and began unbuttoning it himself, quicker. “Good.”

The door closed behind them and Sam was sitting next to them, crouching so he wouldn’t hit his head on the top of the car. “Dean, get your ass over here.”

“Come get it yourself. I’m busy.” Dean said, taunting Sam and wiggling his hips.

“Fine, I will,” Sam said, sticking two fingers from each hand in his mouth and then pushing them inside Dean, earning a mix of a gasp and a yelp.

“And you are,” Dean chuckled, pushing Cas’s shirt open and kissing him some more.

“I think it’s my turn to get my dick sucked, by the way,” Cas whispered. “Remember where I said you’d owe me?”

Behind Dean, Sam was using his fingers to pull Dean open like with a speculum.

“I’m paying you back by sucking your dick?” Dean asked. “That’s nothing.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Cas stated, leaning in and whispering in Dean’s ear. “I want to piss on you.”

Dean laughed. “Right now?”

“Yeah, right now,” Cas said. “I mean, when you gotta go…”

“Okay, bring it,” Dean growled, moaning and gasping as Sam stretched him further. “What are you doing back there, Sam? Preparing me or trying to see your future in my asshole?”

“A bit of both,” Sam answered,

“Sam, you’re not putting your whole fist in my asshole,” Dean stated.

Sam groaned. “Dammit, Dean. You could take it.”

“I know I can, but I don’t want to,” Dean retorted. “Who knows where your hand has been?”

“One of these days, you’ll let me,” Sam said. “One day.”

“Keep dreaming,” Dean snickered. “You’d have better luck with Cas.”

“I don’t want a fist in my asshole either,” Cas said. “But get me drunk and I might.”

“Noted,” Sam snickered, taking his fingers out of Dean’s ass. Sam wet his fingers some more with his mouth and put them back in. “Almost ready.”

“For someone so desperate he had to stop the car, you’re taking your sweet time,” Dean retorted.

“I’m just trying to make do without any proper lube in here, but excuse me for trying to be a gentleman,” Sam replied.

“I’m fine, just do it,” Dean sighed, backing over towards Sam. “God, car sex is hard enough, let alone with three of us.”

“You’ll deal,” Sam said.

“Hold on, Cas has something he needs to do first,” Dean stated.

“First, you rush me, and now you tell me to wait for Cas?” Sam scoffed.

“I’m important,” Cas replied. “Besides, I’m the one celebrating tonight.”

“He’s got a point,” Dean sang.

“You going to be my little piss-slut?” Cas asked, stroking Dean’s face.

“Wait, piss?” Sam groaned. “Listen, I’m coming around to the freaky shit you guys do, but we’re in a car!”

“We’re in _my_ car, Sam,” Cas stated. “So we can do whatever I please. And I please to piss on Dean’s face.”

Sam whistled. “Whatever.”

Cas smiled at Dean and kissed him on the mouth before backing up against the window and spraying Dean in the face with pee. Dean gasped and closed his eyes, but took in the sensation of Cas wetting down his hair and the rest of his face.

“You like this?” Cas asked, making his stream a little stronger. “I think you do.”

Dean nodded and smiled. “Fuck yeah, Cas. Fuck yeah, I do.”

Sam watched in arousal, slowly stroking himself to their pleasured sounds.

“Okay, Sam,” Dean breathed. “Your turn.”

“No, I’m not peeing on you! Are you crazy?” Sam replied.

“I didn’t mean that, but fuck, if you want to, I’d love it,” Dean said.

“No!” Sam exclaimed. “No, Jesus.”

“You sure?” Dean asked, looking over his shoulder at him. “Because, you know Cas and I have no problem.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Sam stated. “I just want to fuck you and go home.”

“Go right on ahead,” Dean said. “I’m ready as ever.”

“You can do me after,” Cas whispered, running his hand through Dean’s wet hair.

Dean nodded in acknowledgement and moaned as he felt Sam push his way in. “God, I’m such a whore. I love dick.”

“Dick loves you, too,” Cas muttered, watching with fascination, Dean’s face contort as Sam filled him up.

Sam leaned over Dean in an awkward position because the ceiling was too low for him any other way, but he made it work. He pushed his cock all the way inside Dean and began ramming into him again and again, making Dean instantly start crying out.

“Watching you two is better than porn,” Cas said, Dean lurching forward and grabbing onto Cas’s knee for support.

“This feels like porn,” Dean replied, moaning again as Sam pushed in.

Sam thrusted into him again and Dean cried out again. Sam’s size made it easy for him to reach Dean’s prostate without much effort. Sam pushed forward, but cried out as he hit his head on the ceiling of the car. “Fucking hate this.”

“Hold, I have an idea!” Cas exclaimed, leaning to the front of the car and pressing a button. Slowly, the sun roof started to open and a breeze entered the car.

“You’re a genius, Cas,” Sam chuckled, waiting for it to open above them so he didn’t have to hunch over.

Sam resumed fucking Dean, this time in a normal position with his head above and outside the car. Dean held onto Cas to brace himself, having not enough room on the seat for his hands. Cas reached out and stroked Dean’s face, caressing his cheeks as he bounced forwards and backwards in between Cas’s legs.

“Dean, are you close?” Sam asked, bracing one hand on the arch of Dean’s back.

“Yeah.” Dean nodded. “I am.”

“Good,” Sam moaned, panting as he continued hitting into Dean, the car shaking with each movement. “Me, too.”

Cas touched himself aimlessly as he watched–as he _felt_. He could feel Dean’s panting breaths on his own face and Dean’s moans were right there, too.

Sam moaned loudly and Dean made a whimpering sound.

“You just came,” Dean said. “I can feel it.”

“Yeah,” Sam breathed, pulling out from Dean and collapsing down to sit normally on the seat, taking heavy, labored breaths. “God, that was worth pulling over for. “

“I hope so,” Dean replied, sitting up and sitting normally next to him.

Sam leaned over and began kissing him, placing his hand on Dean’s cock and getting him off the rest of the way. “I love you, by the way.”

“Thanks?” Dean laughed. “I love you, too, I guess.”

“Why are you laughing?” Sam asked.

“Because that was random,” Dean replied, finishing his sentence with a moan and arching his back as he came. He gasped as Sam drew shot after shot of come out of him, his muscles tensing up and his legs raising, toes curling. His breath hitched his through and he whined a little more as the last bit came out, leaving come all over his lap.

“That was one of the beautiful orgasms I have ever witnessed,” Cas said. “Truly.”

“Glad to be of service,” Dean hummed, letting Sam kiss him up and down. Dean kissed Sam back on the mouth, their lips not quite in sync, but neither of them cared.

“I love you,” Sam repeated, kissing him softly.

“I love you, too,” Dean said, bringing his hand up into Sam’s cool hair, chilled by the night-time breeze. “Hold on, I gotta–” Dean reached towards Cas.

“Don’t mind me,” Cas stated. “I’ve been waiting and I can wait longer. I don’t care.”

“Okay,” Dean sighed, going back towards Sam and letting Sam feel him all over and kiss him.

Cas patiently waited for the two of them to come down–knowing how much Sam likes love and cuddling afterwards, despite how rough he is for the actual process of sex. Sam and Dean touched each other and kissed for a while until Sam was satisfied.

“It’s getting late,” Sam whispered, glancing at the clock up in front. “We should start heading home.”

“Yeah, we should,” Cas said.

Sam opened the car door and picked his pants up off the floor of the backseat and began putting them on again.

“Alright,” Dean sang, going over to Cas.

“No.” Cas shook his head.

“What?” Dean scoffed.

“You’re tired,” Cas said. “Another time.”

“But you’re still hard,” Dean argued.

“I can take care of that myself,” Cas replied.

“Come on, I can at least give you a hand job,” Dean groaned. “I feel dirty making you watch me get the best dick of my life and then get nothing for it.”

“You say that like watching you and Sam have sex is a punishment,” Cas said, giving in and letting Dean stroke him. Sam got back into the driver’s seat and shut the sunroof and then started driving back to their house.

“I mean, you have to watch us and can’t even participate,” Dean said, moving his hand quickly up Cas’s length.

Cas shrugged nonchalantly as Dean drew a moan from his mouth. “I don’t mind. I don’t need to be included in everything and I’m okay with that.”

“Yeah, but it’s like we’re taunting you,” Dean replied. “Waving it in your face, but you can’t join in.”

“I don’t feel taunted, Dean,” Cas moaned, looking up towards the ceiling. “I enjoy watching the two of you together. It’s nice to not be involved sometimes.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Dean snickered. “Who wouldn’t want to be involved in sex?”

“You should watch Sam and I sometime,” Cas stated. “It’s refreshing to just watch sometimes. You’d see what I mean.”

“Back me up here, Sam,” Dean said. “Don’t you prefer to join in instead of watch?”

“Not always,” Sam answered. “Cas is right. Just watching two of you is beautiful.”

“Beautiful,” Dean scoffed. “You and Cas both are so sappy. It’s fucking.”

“It’s art,” Cas argued, moaning louder.

“It’s sex,” Dean stated.

“Sex can be an art,” Cas breathed, holding onto Dean. “It’s not always just about the feeling.”

“God, you and Sam are both insufferable about this,” Dean groaned. “No wonder you get along so well.”

“Well, that and we love each other,” Sam chimed in.

Cas had no further input other than a gasping moan as he came, shooting come onto his chest and a little onto Dean’s hand. “I’m going to regret this tomorrow at the car wash.”

“Yeah, you will,” Dean snickered, softly kissing Cas. As he pulled away, he noticed dark marks on Cas’s side. He pushed Cas’s shirt out of the way and frowned at the 4 circular bruises on his side. “What happened here?”

Cas looked down and then chuckled. “Sam.”

“What?” Sam looked back and then laughed as he recognized the bruises as where he’d been grabbing Cas the night before.

“Sam?” Dean raised his eyebrows. “How?”

“Last night in the shower,” Cas responded. “He grabbed my hips and he fucked me over and over. He’s got a death grip, I tell you.”

“I can see that,” Dean mused.

“I can’t believe it,” Cas muttered with a smile.

“Believe what?” Dean asked.

“I’m free,” Cas laughed. “I’m out of the closet!”

“Fuck yeah you are!” Dean cheered, kissing him joyfully.

“I’m out of the closet!”

Once they got home, the three of them tumbled into bed together. All of them were too exhausted for a shower then and were going to take one in the morning.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stealth update from work....

“You ready?” Sam asked, looking over at Dean.

Dean nodded and smiled.

“Cas!” Sam called. “Can you come down here?”

After a second, Cas showed up at the railing of the stairs and looked down. “Yeah, be right there! Let me finish brushing my teeth.”

“Okay,” Sam chuckled, turning back to Dean. “You want me to do the talking or do you want to?”

“You,” Dean answered. “I’m not good with words. You know that.”

“You have a way with words with him, though,” Sam said.

“I’d fuck it up,” Dean sighed.

“No you wouldn’t,” Sam replied.

“You do the talking, Sam,” Dean snapped, bouncing one of his legs.

“You’re nervous,” Sam stated, noticing his leg.

“Yes, I’m nervous,” Dean groaned. “What if this goes all wrong? What if he’s angry?”

“Dean,” Sam groaned, putting a hand on Dean’s thigh. “It’s not going to go wrong and he’s not going to be angry. I don’t think.”

“Alright, I’m coming!” Cas called, bounding down the stairs, all smiles. Valentine’s Day was his favorite holiday.

Cas sat on the couch between them and looked back and forth.

“Morning, Cas,” Sam whispered, leaning in and kissing him.

“Mornin,” Dean added, kissing Cas’s cheek.

“So, what’d you need?” Cas asked.

“We need to talk to you about something,” Sam said, resting a hand on Cas’s arm.

“About what?” Cas replied, his face going more serious.

“About us,” Sam said.

Cas furrowed his brow at him. “What about us?”

“Well, Dean and I have been talking and he wants to file for rights to see his son, but to look the best in court, there’s a few things he needs to do. He needs to appear more stable and responsible and ready to be a father,” Sam stated.

“I don’t understand what this has to do with us,” Cas said.

“Well, Dean and I decided that the best thing to make him seem stable and responsible would be for him and I to be legally married,” Sam replied.

“Oh,” Cas breathed.

“It would give his income quite a boost, everything I own would be also his, it would justify how he works a part-time job, and being married just looks good,” Sam explained. “If it weren’t for a legal benefit, we never would, but obviously it is for a legal benefit.”

“So what does this have to do with us though?” Cas asked. “I don’t see it.”

“Well, that’s where you come into play,” Sam said, taking Cas’s hand with both of his.

“You need to me leave, don’t you?” Cas whimpered. “You and Dean are all set and don’t need me anymore and it would look bad to have a boyfriend on the side, so I have to leave.”

“No!” Sam exclaimed. “No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. We need you, Cas. We’re always going to need you.”

“Then I don’t understand,” Cas stated. “What does any of this have to do with me? Did you think I’d be mad that you and Dean have to do this? Because I’m not, I understand.”

Sam took a deep breath and looked over at Dean. Cas looked at him, too and Dean smiled at him and then kissed him. Dean grabbed Cas’s other hand and then he and Sam both slid off the couch and onto the floor in front of Cas. Cas gasped sharply and looked between the two of them.

“Castiel,” Sam began. “Will you marry us?”

Cas’s face erupted in a smile and he vigorously nodded. “Yes, yes, yes, fuck, yes!”

Dean laughed as he let go of Cas’s hand and then slowly pulled the existing ring off Cas's finger. “You don’t need this anymore. You’ll have the real thing.”

Cas smiled wider as Dean reached into his back pocket and slid a tiny, golden ring with a small diamond on it out and pushed it onto his finger. Sam reached over and took his hand from Dean and then put a second ring on it, this one thicker with diamonds all around the band. Cas pulled his hand away and admired them as Sam and Dean both put a second ring on each other.

“I’ll need to know your ring sizes, but I’ll get you guys rings, too,” Cas said, starting to cry.

“No, you don’t have to,” Sam replied, getting back on the couch and hugging Cas.

“No, yes, I do,” Cas replied, “It’s only fair.”

Dean got back on the couch next to Cas and kissed his neck from behind. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Cas began crying harder and turned around and kissed Dean on the mouth. “This is the best Valentine’s Day.”

“Obviously, we can’t be legally married,” Sam replied. “But who gives a fuck about a piece of paper? We can have a ceremony and tuxedos and a pastor and cake and a honeymoon and whatever you want. That sound nice?”

“Yes,” Cas whimpered, wiping tears off his face. “You guys are too good to me. I love you.”

“We love you too,” Dean replied, he and Sam both kissing Cas’s cheeks and hugging him.

“We’re gonna get married!” Cas giggled, snuggling into them.

* * *

The three of them had had basically the best day of their lives. Cas was the happiest they’d ever seen him, like he’d found life again. The last few days had been a whirlwind, a rollercoaster, but to the three of them, none of that mattered anymore.

“We’re getting married,” Cas said again, smiling and kissing Dean as they went into the bedroom. “It’s finally happening.”

Dean laughed into his kisses and let Cas push him back onto the edge of the bed. Cas sat on his lap and kissed him, making happy noises as he did so. Sam got on the bed behind them and kissed the side of Dean’s neck.

“You know, guys,” Sam whispered. “I was thinking about it, and maybe I wouldn’t mind so much, that pee stuff you guys do.”

Dean and Cas pulled away from each other and looked over at him.

“Really?” Cas asked.

“I guess,” Sam said. “I’d be willing to try.” 

Cas crawled off of Dean and looked at him. “Go get the towel blanket.”

Dean got up and left the room and Sam began kissing Cas. He gently pushed Cas down on the bed and laid on top of him, cradling Cas’s face as they kissed. Sam reached down and pushed the waistband of Cas’s sweats down and out of the way. He put his hand onto Cas and began stroking him slowly. Cas moaned into Sam’s mouth as he kissed him.

Dean returned with the towels that had been sewn together, but upon seeing Cas moaning beneath Sam, decided to stand in the doorway and just watch.

“Sam, fuck,” Cas breathed in between a moan. “Keep going.”

Sam continued to kiss Cas and Cas continued to moan. Cas whined and gasped alongside the moans, Sam continuing to stroke him, faster and faster.

Dean could tell when Cas came by his voice alone. He moaned loudly and his voice cracked at one point and as Sam kept going to get him through the climax, Cas made a small series of quieter moans, and grabbed onto the sheets. And Dean realized Sam and Cas were right before–that watching the other two have sex and not participating isn’t bad, and it _is_ beautiful.

Cas panted and kissed Sam again, slower this time. And Cas kept on kissing him until he noticed Dean from the corner of his eye.

“Hi, Dean,” he whispered.

Sam rolled off of him and Dean exhaled slowly, holding up the towel. “Hey, Cas.”

“Sorry,” Cas muttered, giving Dean a mischievous smile as he put himself back in his pants and looked at the come on his shirt.

Dean laughed and went over to the two of them, beginning to spread the towels on the bed. Sam got off the bed and Cas crawled up to the pillows so Dean had room to get everything covered.

“I can’t believe we’re finally going to do this,” Dean said, looking up at the two of them.

“Me neither,” Cas replied excitedly.

“Alright now, come on.” Dean sang, sitting on the bed of towels and patting them.

Cas grinned and moved over towards Dean, kissing him until Sam got over by them.

“So,” Sam drawled. “What do we do?”

“What do you want to do?” Dean asked, Cas moving off of him.

“I don’t know,” Sam said. “I’m…open at this point.”

“Alright,” Dean hummed. “How about something simple? Easy?”

“What do you define as easy?” Sam replied, raising his eyebrows skeptically.

“Well, I was thinking that maybe you could just wet yourself?” Dean suggested.

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You call that easy and simple?”

“Well, I think it’s about as softcore as any of this gets,” Cas added.

Sam looked over at him and sighed.

“Hey, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Dean continued.

“I know, I just–” Sam bit his lip and looked away from both of them. “–I don’t know.”

“We’re not forcing you to do any of this, Sam,” Cas said.

“I know that,” Sam stated. “Of course I know that.”

“Well?” Dean asked.

Sam took a deep breath and then looked back at Dean. “I’ll do it. Or, at least I’ll try.”

“Come on,” Cas whispered, giving him a smile. “Let’s get your pants off.”

“Why take my pants off?” Sam asked. “Isn’t that the whole point?”

“Clothes hide so much,” Cas replied.

Sam shrugged and began undoing the clasp on his jeans.

Cas leaned up and kissed him, putting his hands on the waist of Sam's jeans and pulling them down. Sam kissed him back and helped get himself out of his jeans. Cas pushed him halfway down on the bed and took his jeans the rest of the way off, stopping and sitting at his feet.

"Remind me next time to get my clothes before getting in bed," Sam retorted, running his hand through his hair.

"Maybe you should just never have clothes on," Dean mused.

"Oh yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Sam sneered, sitting back up.

"I would,” Dean purred, grabbing Sam and kissing the side of his face. “I think we both would.”

“I mean, it might be awkward with guests over, but we can make it work,” Cas replied.

Dean slipped his hand down into Sam's boxers and fondled him and Cas went back up to his other side.

"Are you ready to pop your pee cherry?" Cas asked.

Dean scoffed and Sam started laughing.

"Don't ever say that again," Dean said, smiling at him.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, laughing at him.

“That sounded cheesier than I thought.” Cas muttered. “Still love me?”

“Still love you,” Sam whispered turning and kissing him softly on the lips. “Though, I don't know about this.”

“That you love me?” Cas asked.

“No,” Sam laughed. “I'm certain about that.”

“What do you mean then?”

“I just, this doesn't seem like my kind of thing,” Sam said.

“Sam, you don't have to do anything you don't want to,” Dean stated.

“I know that,” Sam replied. “I want to do this with you guys–I think–but I don't know. Peeing myself seems so messy and annoying."

“I can't believe I just said that,” Sam muttered.

Dean laughed at him. “Yeah it's a bit weird to hear yourself say things like that.”

"Do you want to pee on Dean?" Cas asked.

"Thanks," Dean snorted.

"What?" Cas replied. "You like this."

Dean rolled his eyes and looked up at Sam, awaiting an answer.

"Um..." Sam stammered.

“I can do it with you," Cas offered.

"Double thanks," Dean retorted.

“You're welcome," Cas stated.

Dean groaned and looked over to their boyfriend.

"Okay," Sam giggled.

“Just pretend you're seven and I'm Cheerios," Dean said, earning a throaty scoff from him.

“All I do is pretend I'm thirty-two and he's my obnoxious boyfriend," Cas stated.

Dean shoved him in the arm and laughed. "Asshole."

"Get over there," Cas said, cozying up next to Sam.

"Bossy," Dean muttered, crawling down on the bed and in front of the two of them.

Cas moved around to sit behind Sam and let his legs extend to the sides. He brought his arms up and hugged him, softly kissing the side of his neck.

"I wish my boyfriend was that romantic," Dean mused.

Cas flipped Dean off and then pushed his one hand down into Sam's boxers. He pushed the waistband down and pulled Sam out, continuing to kiss his neck.

"Cas, I can't pee with you all over me. It's too weird," Sam said.

“Sure you can,” Cas mumbled.

“No, trust me–I can't,” Sam argued.

“Fine.” Cas whined, backing off from Sam, but still sitting behind him.

“Thank you,” Sam snorted, taking himself in his hand and staring at Dean awkwardly.

"You look constipated," Dean said.

“What?” Sam scoffed.

“Your eyebrows look constipated,” Dean explained.

“How can my eyebrows look constipated?” Sam groaned.

“They do sometimes,” Cas replied, resting his chin on Sam's shoulder.

“They're eyebrows,” Sam stated.

“Constipation eyebrows,” Dean chided.

Sam rolled his eyes and shoved Cas back off by pushing his face away.

“Okay, you can't watch,” Sam said.

“What?” Dean laughed.

“It's weird,” Sam protested. “So just close your eyes,”

“I didn't realize you were bladder shy,” Cas replied.

“I'm not!” Sam exclaimed. “It's just not a normal scenario right now. That's all.”

“Mhm,” Dean hummed, closing his eyes and smiling.

“I'm not looking,” Cas said, shutting his eyes and sighing.

Sam looked at him to make sure and then stared down at himself. He muttered to himself as he aimlessly fiddled about. He closed his own eyes and tried to pretend he was outside or in the bathroom. Alone. And not on a bed. With two asshole boyfriends laughing at him.

After a moment, Sam could feel it coming and he forced himself to let it out. But it was just a little dribble that ran off his hand. He made a disgruntled noise and Dean started laughing.

“Your eyebrows probably look extremely constipated right now,” Dean snickered.

“Yeah probably,” Sam muttered.

“Having problems?” Cas asked.

“Uh-huh,” Sam hummed, exhaling a sigh.

“Dean don't open your eyes yet,” Cas ordered, kissing the side of Sam's neck again.

“This isn't helpful,” Sam stated.

“Yes it is,” Cas argued, rubbing Sam's thighs with his hands. “I'm distracting you. Are you distracted?”

“Not in a good way,” Sam said.

“Liar,” Cas growled, moving his hands further up Sam's legs. “Just relax now.”

“How am I supposed to relax like this?” Sam replied.

“Because I'm your boyfriend–wait, fiancé–and you love me and are comfortable around me,” Cas said, gently rubbing the skin under his fingertips. “And I know you like when I kiss your neck.”

“Yeah and since when do you do any of this when I'm in the bathroom?” Sam countered.

“Not the point,” Cas stated, slowly kissing the underside of his jaw. “Just focus on me.”

Sam gasped quietly as Cas gave his inner thighs a squeeze. “Kind of hard not to.”

“Exactly,” Cas hummed. “Good.”

“Is this actually doing anything productive other than taunting me?” Dean groaned.

“Ask Sam,” Cas said, kissing the crook of his neck.

“How am I supposed to know?” Sam scoffed.

“You're the bladder shy one,” Dean stated.

“Try again,” Cas said, sliding his hands back down towards Sam's knees again. “Don't think about it–think about me.”

Sam pushed a little and then tried to just focus on Cas's kisses.

“There you go,” Cas sang, flicking his gaze downward. “That's not so bad, is it?”

“Can I open my eyes now?” Dean asked.

“Go ahead,” Cas replied, pulling away from him.

Sam looked down at himself and groaned. “Oh, God,”

Dean blinked his eyes open and smiled wide, cradling closer in front of Sam.

“Holy shit,” Sam muttered, laughing tensely at the sight of himself peeing on a towel while sitting on a bed.

“Come on,” Cas drawled, reaching an arm around Sam's waist and grabbing his cock. Sam gasped and Cas chuckled into his ear. Cas slowly slid his hand down his length as he aimed at Dean. “You're going to have to put more into it than that, Sam,”

“I'm trying, sorry,” Sam muttered, shaking his head a little.

“Alright, I can work with this,” Dean said, crawling into basically Sam's lap and wrapping his legs around both him and Cas.

“I'm trapped in a kinky sandwich,” Sam groaned.

“Lucky you,” Dean snickered, finally close enough to actually let Sam pee on him.

Dean leaned in and began kissing Sam on the mouth and Cas resumed kissing his neck.

“This is incredibly weird,” Sam breathed, pulling away from Dean.

“Good weird or bad weird?” Dean replied, looking down at his dampening shirt and laughing.

“I don't know,” Sam answered.

“Yes you do,” Cas stated, lifting away from his neck. "Say it."

“Fine, it's good weird,” Sam resigned, watching the pee hitting Dean's shirt.

“See, it's not so bad,” Cas replied, smiling over at him.

“It's not.” Sam shook his head and smiled back. “This is still really weird and I don't know if I would do this again, though.”

“That's fine,” Dean said.

“Of course,” Cas added.

“I don't do good with new things,” Sam muttered, Dean letting go of him as the stream of pee dwindled down.

“We know,” Cas mused.

“Remember how bitchy he got when you two started dating?” Dean asked.

“Yes!” Cas laughed, turning over to Sam and kissing the side of his face. “Poor baby. You were out of your comfort zone and got mad at the world.”

“For the whole first month you just bitched at us constantly,” Dean said with a smile, softly kissing Sam.

“I remember,” Sam whispered. “I felt so bad afterwards.”

Cas reached for Sam again and began stroking him with his hand. “You're so lucky you had so many redeemable qualities.”

“Yeah right,” Sam snorted, moaning shortly as Cas stroked him.

“What do you want, Sam?” Cas asked, kissing his neck roughly.

“What do you mean?” Sam replied, tilting his head to give Cas more room.

“Do you want to fuck Dean?” Cas continued.

“If he would also like that, sure,” Sam stated.

“Just sure?” Dean scoffed. “I know I'm getting wrinkles, but ouch.”

“You're not getting wrinkles,” Sam scoffed.

“Then say it,” Dean said.

“Say what?”

“Tell me you want to fuck me,” Dean growled.

“I want to fuck you,” Sam whispered.

“Again,” Dean breathed.

“I want to fuck you,” Sam repeated.

“Again.”

“I. Want. To fuck you,” Sam stated, going in to kiss Dean roughly.

Dean laughed and let Sam manhandle him, pulling his shirt off and over his head. Sam took Dean by the arms and fell forward, pinning Dean down against the bed.

Cas moved out from behind Sam and sat to the side, watching Sam hold Dean down and kiss him.

“Take me,” Dean whispered, pulling out of Sam's grasp and sneaking his hand between them to grab Sam's erection. "Fuck me, Sam."

Sam sat up and quickly pulled Dean's pants off along with his underwear and then bent his legs up above his head.

Cas whistled and crawled over to the edge of the bed, grabbing the bottle of lube out from the drawer in the bedside dresser. “Here.”

“So helpful,” Sam mused, taking the bottle from him and flipping the cap open. Sam poured it onto his fingers and then shoved them inside Dean.

Dean gasped as Sam pushed his fingers in all the way and coated him thoroughly with lube. Sam took his fingers out and then quickly replaced them with his cock. Dean cried out as Sam thrusted into him, pushing himself in all the way.

Sam kept Dean’s legs over his shoulders as he fucked him, pushing in and out, rough and quick. Dean gasped and moaned with every movement, Sam’s dick stretching him to his limits, and also hitting some sensitive part of him–but it wasn’t like usual. It wasn’t his prostate.

Dean focused on the sensation before realizing that Sam kept hitting the backside of his very full bladder, and along with every sensation of pleasure, was a sensation of desperate need. But he was okay with that. It definitely didn’t detract from how great bottoming for Sam was.

Cas stared at the two of them, lips slightly parted as he began touching himself again. He dragged his hand slowly up and down his length, moaning quietly–still sensitive from Sam getting him off earlier. Sam and Dean paid no attention to him, both too involved and invested in each other.

Sam tried his hardest to kiss Dean as he fucked into him, but the back and forth movements and position, made it hard to kiss each other without one of them ending up with a bloody nose and a sore forehead or chin. Sam resorted to just kissing the side of his neck the best he could, letting his lips messily trace across the skin with each movement.

Dean whimpered and whined–both out of pleasure, but also from the throbbing sensation of needing to use the bathroom. Having Sam inside him pressing on his bladder was bad enough, but with his legs over his head, he was putting pressure on it from all sides.

Sam moaned loudly as he came close to hitting his climax, but Dean wasn’t as close as he was. He kept getting distracted by trying not to pee on himself with every inward motion of Sam’s hips. Sam kept his hands at the sides of Dean’s thighs and Dean gasped loudly as Sam slapped one of his legs. The unexpected sensation took Dean by surprise and he started peeing, hitting himself in the shoulder. He quickly got his composure back together and felt himself getting closer.

Cas was being careful not to make himself come again, and was mostly just watching the two of them. He caught Dean’s slip-up. He saw the shine left on his upper chest and arm. He _knew_. Dean felt when Sam came inside him. He trended on the side of coming a lot, usually. Sam pulled out of Dean half-way through and sat up, leaning back and just letting himself finish coming onto the towels.

Dean gently put his legs back down on the bed and took heavy, labored breaths.

Cas walked himself over to Dean and knelt in front of him, holding his cock in his hand.

Dean sighed and smiled at him and then began sucking him off, taking Cas as far in as he could go and then back out. Sam gathered himself and then slunk down between Dean’s legs. Sam dragged his tongue up the edge of Dean’s hard-on and Dean moaned against Cas, the vibrations in turn giving Cas a similar pleasure. Sam placed his lips at the head of Dean’s cock and pushed down. Dean moaned more and felt the tightness building up inside him. He forced the urge down despite Sam’s motions and tried to focus more on getting Cas off.

Dean put all his effort into making Cas come as fast as possible. He circled his tongue around and used one hand where he could and tried to draw Cas closer with every motion. Cas held a hand in Dean’s hair and held him in place and began pushing into Dean’s mouth. Cas was usually a passive recipient, but Dean wasn’t about to argue if Cas knew what he wanted.

As far as how he himself was doing, Sam knew too well what he liked, too. Sam eagerly slid his head up and down, taking Dean in completely and then back up again. Sam wasn’t even going that fast, but Dean was hitting his limit.

“Fuck,” Cas panted, fucking into Dean’s mouth faster.

Sam went down again. And up. And down. And Dean could feel it building it up and it was right there and- _oh shit_. Dean realized that he wasn’t just about to come. Sam kept going and he tried to protest, but with his mouth around Cas, he just sounded eager and pleasured. He reached an arm out for Sam to push him back, but Sam leaned forward more, welcoming Dean to grab him by the hair and guide him how he wanted.

Dean’s noises of protests glided into moans as he came, filling Sam’s mouth with his come. And then some. Dean felt himself lose control of his bladder and seconds later, Sam spit the contents of his mouth all over Dean’s stomach. Cas stumbled away from Dean at the commotion and looked in confusion as Sam spit in front of Dean, pee spraying up and still hitting him in the face.

“Oh God!” Dean exclaimed. “Sam, I’m so sorry.”

“Dean!” Sam groaned, sitting up as Dean continued to pee all over himself and the towel blanket. “What the fuck?”

“Did you just piss in his mouth?” Cas asked.

Dean nodded silently and slowly.

“Holy shit,” Cas breathed, his cock twitching and then hitting Dean in the cheek with come.

Dean looked up at Cas and got another few drops of come on his nose.

“Sorry,” Cas whispered.

Dean sighed and looked at Sam who was still grimacing in disgust. “Sorry.”

Sam looked at the two of them and they looked between each other.

“This didn’t go as planned,” Cas muttered.

“I’m pretty sure the towels aren’t going to catch all this,” Dean said, looking down at the puddle between his legs filling up quicker than it was seeping down.

“We’ll see,” Cas mused, sitting down next to Dean.

“Well,” Sam muttered.

Dean raised his eyebrows at him. “We’re not doing this ever again, are we?”

Sam pondered for a moment, tilting his head back and forth as he thought. “Not necessarily.”

“What does that mean?” Cas asked, leaning over and resting himself on Dean’s shoulders.

“I mean, aside from how much a cluster fuck this was and the part where Dean pissed in my mouth, it wasn’t as horrible as I thought,” Sam replied.

Cas broke out in a smile and looked at Dean. “Don’t pee in people’s mouths.”

“It was an accident!” Dean exclaimed.

“How do you accidentally pee in someone's mouth?” Sam groaned, getting off the bed.

“It was!” Dean protested.

“Right. I’m getting mouthwash,” Sam stated, heading towards the bathroom.

“It was,” Dean grumbled, looking over at Cas.

Cas just laughed and kissed the side of his face. “Was this our engagement sex?”

“Is that a thing?” Dean asked.

“I think so,” Cas said.

“I mean, if it is, then yeah, I think I accidentally peed in Sam’s mouth for engagement sex,” Dean snickered.

“Does that say anything about our future engagement?” Cas replied.

Dean took a deep sigh. “I hope not.”

Sam got back on the bed in front of them and Cas got up.

“Where are you going?” Dean asked.

“To use the bathroom if that’s okay with you,” Cas answered. “I’m not about to pull a you, Dean.”

“Yeah, you never got a turn,” Dean stated. “Come on, let’s fix that.”

“I think Sam’s seen his share of urine for the day, Dean,” Cas said, lingering in the doorway.

“For the week,” Sam amended.

“For the week,” Cas repeated, stepping into the bathroom.

“For real though,” Dean said. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know.” Sam rolled his eyes. “Looking back, I was an idiot and should have realized.”

Dean nodded. “You just wanted to give as hard as you get.”

Sam laughed and went over in front of Dean, kissing him gently on the mouth. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Dean replied, kissing him back.

When Cas came out, Dean and Sam were still kissing each other, hands at each other’s faces.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d be jealous,” he said, sitting on the bed beside them. “But I know better, of course. Obviously.”

Sam and Dean both looked at him and laughed.

“Don’t be jealous. We love you, too,” Sam drawled, leaning in and kissing him. Dean shoved Sam aside and then started kissing Cas himself. Sam nudged him back and then went to kiss Cas at the same time, both of them kissing one side of his mouth in a rather ungraceful manner.

“I think we should stick with two people kissing at a time,” Cas mumbled, laughing underneath their kisses. “Or at least perfect this by our wedding day.”

“Yeah, that will be interesting to choreograph,” Dean mused, pulling away from Cas.

“The whole thing will,” Sam said.

“I can’t wait!” Cas cheered, giving them both a quick kiss and then looking down. “We should probably get this off and change the sheets, first, though.”

“Good point,” Dean stated, getting off the bed and beginning to pull the towel blanket off.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Cas took a deep breath and nervously knocked on the door in front of him, hand trembling slightly. He grabbed onto his arm as he lowered his hand to stop the shaking. He debated running away or hiding, but the door opened and it was too late.

“Hello, Castiel.”

“Hi, Mom,” he croaked.

“It’s been a while,” she mused. “Come in, honey.”

“It has.” Cas nodded and stepped into the house he grew up in, shutting the door behind him. “You finally re-did the wallpaper, I see.”

“Well, it’s not 1970 anymore,” she chuckled. “Those stripes were atrocious.”

“Yeah,” Cas agreed. “Is Dad here?”

“Yes, he’s in the living room watching football,” his mother replied.

Cas swallowed anxiously and headed towards the living area.

Everything was changing. He came out at work and was met with support. He was getting married. His husband-to-be had a kid. The past two weeks brought a whirlwind of events with them and he was optimistic now. Things were going good. He was doing good. He dreaded the worst when he came out at the Valentine’s dinner, but aside from Asshole Jerry feeling up Dean, it went well. And maybe that would be the case if he came out to his parents now. Times were different. If the wallpaper could change after all these years, maybe they could, too.

“Hi, Dad,” Cas said, sitting down in a recliner by the coffee table opposite his father.

“Hey, son,” he replied, reaching for the remote and turning the television off. “How are you? It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah, it has.”

“How long?” he asked. “Months?”

“Probably,” Cas stated. “I’ve been really busy.”

“With what? You finally get a good job?” his father asked.

“I’m happy with the job I’m at,” Cas replied. “I think I’m due for a promotion soon, actually, though.”

“Get an extra ten cents an hour?” he retorted.

“Well, word around the office is the next promotion is going to be an extra $5 an hour,” Cas said.

His father whistled as his mother entered the room. His mom handed him a glass with lemonade in it and no ice–just like he liked it.

“Thanks, Mom.” Cas smiled up at her and sipped from the glass before setting it on the coffee table in front of him.

“Is there any particular reason you graced us with a visit this fine afternoon?” she asked, sitting next to her husband on the couch.

“Yeah, there is,” Cas stated, giving a brief nod.

“Did you finally get yourself a girl?” his father asked.

Cas stared at him silently, lips parted.

“You did!” he cheered. “That’s what it is, isn’t it?”

“Something of the sort,” Cas muttered.

“Well, who is she? What’s she like?” his mother insisted.

“I’m getting married,” Cas stated, holding up his left hand and wiggling his ring finger.

“You’re getting married?” his father scoffed. “A few months ago you weren’t even dating anyone.”

“I was, I just didn’t tell you,” Cas replied.

“Why not?” he asked. “She ugly?”

Cas shook his head. “Their names are Sam and Dean.”

“They?” His mother raised her eyebrows in confusion.

“What kind of name is Dean?” his father retorted. “Is that a nickname for some kind of foreign name?”

“I’m marrying two people.” Cas nodded at his mother. “I mean, not officially because obviously there are legal restrictions that most likely have to do with tax laws.”

Both his parents frowned at him, giving him a disapproving stare. “That’s wrong.”

“It’s not wrong.” Cas said. “I love them both. They both love me. And they both love each other.”

“That’s not natural, Castiel,” his father stated.

“Yes it is,” Cas insisted. “It’s completely natural. We didn’t plan for it to go this way, it just did.”

“You shouldn’t take more than one wife, Castiel,” his father sighed.

“Well, I guess you’ll be happy to know that I’m not taking more than one wife,” Cas muttered.

“But you just said–”

“I’m taking two husbands,” Cas whispered. “That’s why Dean’s such a nonsensical name for a girl. Because Dean’s not a girl.”

“What?” his father laughed. “Son, you were always bad at jokes.”

“This isn’t a joke.” Cas shook his head. “I’m serious. I’m marrying two men that I love very, very much.”

His father continued laughing. “Okay, what’s the real news? I don’t think you came over here to play a prank on us.”

“That is the real news,” Cas said. “I’m getting married. To Sam and Dean. And I wanted to tell you guys as my parents.”

“Right,” his dad retorted. “Come on, stop playing.”

“I’m not!” Cas exclaimed. “Look!”

Cas took out his phone and pulled up the camera roll and then held up a picture of the three of them in front of the world’s biggest ball of twine–Dean kissing Cas’s cheek and with one arm wrapped around Sam’s waist.

“You really put a lot of work into this, didn’t you?” his father asked. “Well, you got us. Jig’s up. Nice Photoshop, by the way.”

Cas huffed angrily. “I’m not playing a gosh damn joke!”

Cas pulled up a video on his phone and held it up. Sam was laughing into the camera about something.

“Okay, at these fucking idiots,” he said through laughter, turning the phone around towards Cas and Dean. Cas was almost all the way dressed for work, but Dean was still in his boxers and a tank top.

“Where did you put them?!” Cas groaned. “I can’t go to work without a shirt, Dean!”

Dean was sitting on the bed laughing at Cas’s distress, snickering at him and pointing a finger.

“Sam, you should be helping me, not documenting this abuse!” Cas scoffed, looking over at the man behind the camera.

“This has been going on for ten minutes now,” Sam said quietly into the microphone.

“Okay, fine, I’ll give them to you,” Dean drawled. “But you have to give me something first.”

“No!” Cas protested. “I’m not going to give you my baby pictures!”

“But I want to see them!” Dean argued.

Cas ran and jumped on him on the bed, getting in his face. “How about I give you a fist to the face? I’m going to be late for work.”

“I want that scrapbook, Castiel,” Dean drawled.

“I hate you,” Cas stated, laughing in disbelief. “I honestly fucking hate you.”

“I love you, too,” Dean cooed, giving Cas a quick kiss on the lips.

“I’ve seen enough,” Cas’s mother said, looking away from the phone.

Cas stopped the video and put his phone back in the pocket of his coat.

“You’re actually serious,” his mother breathed.

Cas nodded slowly. “I am.“

“What the hell is wrong with you?” his father growled. “You come into this house and you–you flaunt your homosexuality?”

“I’m not flaunting it,” Cas stated. “I’m trying to be honest with you.”

“No, you’re flaunting. And honest or not, homosexuality is the darkest sin the the Bible! You know this!” he yelled.

“I know that,” Cas said. “Trust me, I know, but I can’t help who I love, Dad.”

“This is a choice. Just like murder. Or rape. Or denying the gospel. This is a choice. And you _chose_ to be a sinner, Castiel!” he argued.

“I didn’t choose, Dad,” Cas whimpered, eyes welling up with tears. He was wrong. His parents hadn’t changed. Or learned. Or grown in any way. “I was born this way, I think. I wish I weren’t gay and I wish I was straight and I wish I was normal, but I’m not and I can’t help it and I spend everyday praying and begging for forgiveness and to be remedied of this!”

“Do you still go to church?” his mother asked.

Cas nodded. “Every Sunday and sometimes on my days off.”

“That’s damn sacrilege,” she replied. “You’re embracing Satan. You have no place in a church.”

“I’m trying to be good,” Cas cried, hiding his face in his hands. “I pray everyday!”

“Pray harder,” his father growled. “Pray harder and actually fucking try and maybe God will help you.”

“I tried, Dad!” Cas yelled. “I tried so long and so hard and I hated myself and I still hate myself but I can’t change this!”

“You can change! You just don’t want to!”

“I do! I want to change! But I can’t, but I’m just trying to make the best of what I have!” Cas argued. “I just want to be happy!”

“No, you just want to be weak!” his mother interjected. “You’re giving into the devil, Castiel.”

“No, I’m not!” Cas sobbed. “I follow the Bible as much as I can and I go to church and I worship–“

“And you take it up the ass from other men,” his father scowled. “Which is a sin, too.”

“I thought you’d understand,” Cas breathed. “You’re my parents! You know how much I love God and follow His word.”

“I don’t even know who you are anymore,” his mother sighed. “You’re not our baby boy anymore.” His mother choked back a sob and looked away for a moment before looking back at him. “You’re a damn pervert. And an abomination.”

“I know,” Cas said, voice cracking as he cried harder. He got up and began walking to leave the room.

“Fuck!” his father yelled, hitting the glass of orange juice he’d been drinking off the table, sending shards of glass and juice across the living room carpet. “I don’t know what we ever did wrong to deserve a son like you.”

“I don’t know either,” Cas whispered, hanging his head and running from the house.

Cas ran out to his car and sat in it, hitting his head on the steering wheel and crying.

* * *

When Cas got home, no one was there. He was alone and distraught and didn’t know what to do. Sam was good at these things, though. Sam talked him down a lot when he was upset. Cas tried to call him but he didn’t answer. Dean was getting his cracked screen fixed and didn’t have his phone with him, either.

Cas sat on the edge of the bed crying and swearing at himself over what a mistake he was–how he’d failed the people who gave their lives to raise him. He couldn’t stop crying and couldn’t end the pain and he just wanted it to go away or at least be lesser.

Castiel stopped crying long enough to empty all his belongings from his pockets aside from cash and his keys and then left the house. He locked the door behind him and began walking. It was a warm day for February and he was dressed in layers, but he didn’t care. He just walked. The sun was high in the sky still when Cas left the house, but when he stopped walking, the sun had just set.

Cas had been walking through the city for hours. He was hot and soaked in sweat and his whole body hurt. He looked up and found himself below a flickering neon sign. He knew he wasn’t in a good part of town even if he didn’t know exactly where he was, but he went inside. It was dirty and smelled a bit moldy, but it was a bar and it served alcohol, so he figured it must be fate. He wanted the pain to end, and alcohol would do just that.

Cas sat down at a barstool where a busty bartender took his order.

“What can I do you for?” she asked.

“Just a beer. Or four,” Cas grumbled.

“Nothing a bit stronger?”

“Fuck it, I don’t care,” Cas stated. “I’ll take one of your strongest whatever you have.”

“One it is,” she purred, going to get a shot glass and some whiskey.

She passed it to him and he drank the entire thing almost instantly. So she refilled it. And then he drank. And then she refilled. And after four refills, Cas was utterly and essentially numb to all of it and to everything.

Cas paid the bartender for his tab and remained to sit at the bar for a while, chin in his hands and lost in his thoughts–self-loathing as they were.

“Rough night?” A woman asked, sitting next to him.

Cas looked up at her with heavy eyes. “That obvious?”

“Afraid so,” she replied. “What's eating you?”

“Mosquitos probably,” Cas muttered, looking around at the musky surroundings.

“I think mosquitos would know better than to give someone as attractive as you a hard time.”

Cas chuckled and looked over at her. “Thanks,”

“It's the truth,” she stated. “Hence why I'm wondering what a fella like you is doing down here in this dump. I can tell you don't belong here.”

“Parents.”

“You live with your parents?” she scoffed.

“No.” Cas shook his head and laughed. “No matter how much you cut them out of your life, they're still your parents and they're still giant pains in your ass.”

“I'll drink to that,” the woman remarked, holding out her hand. “Jessica.”

“Castiel.” Cas shook her hand and smiled.

“Fancy name.”

“Hardly,” Cas replied. “Religious name.”

“You and your parents arguing religion then?” she asked. “Sorry, just curious.”

Cas nodded and looked up at the ceiling for a moment. “I can choose...I can choose...”

“Choose what?” Jessica asked.

“Jessica, to be direct, do you want to have sex with me?”

She stared at him in awe and shock for a moment.

“Sorry,” Cas muttered. “I shouldn't have said that. That's the alcohol talking.”

“I'd be interested to see what else the alcohol could do,” she replied.

“Wait. What?”

“I would love to have sex with you, Castiel,” she whispered, leaning up into his ear.

Jennifer slipped off the seat to a stand and took Cas by the hand, pulling him along. Cas let her lead him out the back of the bar.

“Okay,” Cas responded, his voice quivering a little with anxiety.

Jennifer led him out the back and out into a dimly lit alley. She began kissing him almost immediately and backed herself up against the wall.

“Do you have a condom?” Cas asked.

“No,” she answered. “Do you?”

Cas groaned.

“You don't?”

“I wasn't exactly planning on going out to get laid,” Cas stated.

“Neither was I,” she sighed. “I don't care if you don't though.”

Cas paused for a moment in shock. “I don't know if that's such a–”

“Yeah, I get it,” she replied, backing away from the wall. “It's fine.”

Cas stepped back and watched her head in the direction of the entrance again. “Wait!” he called. “Come back.”

She turned and looked at him, surprised by the change of heart. “Indecisive?”

Cas shook his head and shrugged. “Fuck it. I swear I'm clean. I've been with the same two people for the last few years.”

“Two?” she asked, standing in front of him again. “You're just full of curiosities.”

“Long story.”

“You got any else that's long, Castiel?” she whispered, grabbing him through his jeans. “Long and hard and thick?”

Cas exhaled sharply and began unzipping his pants. He was going to do it. He was going to choose to be straight. And he was going to be straight and repent and make his parents love him again.

Cas shoved her up against the wall and kissed her sloppily. It felt weird and _wrong_ to not feel stubble underneath his lips and instead feel the smooth surface of a hairless face. Cas ignored how foreign it felt and went ahead anyways. The woman’s fingers were long and slender as they touched him and he missed Dean’s touch. Dean had a worker’s hands that were rough and calloused and had a special grit to them that Cas longed for now more than ever.

Cas focused back in on Jennifer and realized she was tugging his hand towards her skirt. Cas panicked, realizing he had absolutely no clue what to do. Cas slowly pulled her panties down and out of the way and clumsily just went for it. Anytime someone talked about anything adjacent to vaginas, Cas tuned out and now found himself with his hand up a woman’s skirt and a horrifying lack of knowledge about what even proper anatomy looked like.

People made happy noises when things felt good though. That’s universal, right? Cas just started fumbling his fingers around until she started moaning. Whatever he was doing, she seemed to like so he kept doing that until he had worked up the mental courage to put more than just his hand up there. He took his hand out and semi-disgustedly wiped it on the wall next to him, earning a laugh from Jennifer.

“Sorry,” she chuckled. “I don’t just get wet, I flood.”

Cas fought past the initial disgust the statement brought up in him and pressed himself up into her. He kept kissing her and kept her pressed against the wall. Every cell in his body felt like it was fighting him and he felt dirty and disgusting and it wasn’t just because he was having unsafe sex with a stranger in a dark alley behind a seedy bar in the ghettos. That didn’t help, though.

Jennifer seemed easy to please, moaning happily with Cas’s lazy movements, but Cas was tense and uncomfortable and he hated what he was doing. He kept at it though, telling himself that if he just went all the way through with it, that he’d prove to God that he was ready to be straight and his parents would take him back. That was all he wanted. But every time that he pushed into the woman in front of him, he just wanted Sam and he wanted Dean, but that was okay. Those were just thoughts. He was being straight and having straight sex. It didn’t matter that he was thinking it was a man.

The first time he and Sam got in a fight after they fell for each other, it was similar to this. He and Sam were just standing near each other and everything was so tense and then almost simultaneously, they both just went at it, hands and kissing everywhere, and then Sam held him against the wall and they worked out their anger together. It was like this, but Cas was the one getting fucked, not the way it was currently. Cas tried to just imagine that the person he was having sex with was just Dean. In a wig. With…a really high voice? It wasn’t working. Cas pulled away from Jennifer’s face and looked at what he was doing.

He was having sex with a woman. A complete stranger he didn’t know. And he wasn’t even using a condom. And it wasn’t working. He tried so hard he just wanted to be straight he just wanted to make God happy but it didn’t feel any different. He just felt like he needed a lot of showers. No matter how much he wanted to be straight and to be normal, he couldn’t stop thinking about Sam and Dean and how much he loved them.

Cas’s breath hitched in his throat and he started breathing quickly. He was in love with Sam. And he was in love with Dean. And he just cheated on them with some woman to try and fall out of love with them, but he wasn’t going to. And now he was stuck gay _and_ a slut.

Cas began crying and ran away from the woman beneath him, heading halfway down the alley before stopping. He could hear her angry protests behind him but he didn’t care. It was completely dark where he stood. Anything or anyone could be in that alley right next to him but he didn’t care. Cas just backed up against the wall and cried.

“What have I done?” he whimpered, looking down at himself. Through tears, he tucked himself back in his pants and then zipped them up. “I ruined everything.”

Cas cried for a moment longer before stumbling forward and vomiting into the dirt. He hadn’t had enough alcohol in him to be drunk, but everything he’d done and thought and said was coming back to haunt him all at once. Mixed with his lunch. Cas fell down on the ground and leaned onto the wall in front of him, continuing to sob and hurl until there was nothing left in his stomach and he felt sobered up and in pain like he was before.

He begrudgingly got himself together finally and left the alley, and despite the pain in his legs and his feet, he kept walking again. He only walked a few blocks before stopping and deciding he needed to sleep and to rest and somewhere to stay. There was a sleazy motel across the street and he jaywalked over to it. Rent was cheap and the rooms had much to be desired, but he only had cash and he didn’t have much.

* * *

“I’m worried about him,” Dean whispered, laying in bed next to Sam. “I can’t sleep.”

“Me neither,” Sam replied, rolling over and kissing him. “The bed feels empty without him.”

Dean nodded in agreement. “Where do you think he is?”

“I don’t know,” Sam answered, taking a tense sigh.

“I mean, he was so happy. Things were so good,” Dean said, his voice cracking.

“I’m sure he’s okay,” Sam sighed, pulling Dean into his chest.

“No you’re not,” Dean stated. “I can hear in your voice that you’re scared.”

“Dammit,” Sam hissed. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

“He’s my boyfriend. I hate to say it, but it’s true, but he’s my mentally unstable boyfriend,” Dean said. “I’m going to be worried.”

“I know,” Sam groaned, hugging Dean tighter. “We’re going to find him. He’s going to be okay. Whether he wants to be or not.”


	10. Chapter 10

Cas had been gone for seven days with no sign. Dean and Sam weren’t sleeping at all and spent every minute they could trying to find him. They’d put up fliers and enlisted the help of Cas’s coworkers and extended family and no one had heard a word. Dean cried a lot and Sam pretended it wasn’t getting to him like it was with Dean, but it was. Every day that passed, they got more and more worried that something bad happened. Was he kidnapped? Murdered? Hit and run? He had no identifying information on him. Maybe he’s in a morgue three states away for all either of them knew.

“I’m gonna go look for him,” Dean said quietly, sniffling his nose and getting off the couch.

“Dean, driving around aimlessly isn’t going to help. You’re going to get in a car accident with the state you’re in,” Sam stated, looking up from his laptop.

“Well, scanning every Instagram post in the city isn’t going to help much either,” Dean replied. “I’m going out. I can’t stand being in here doing nothing.”

“It’s a bad idea!” Sam called behind him.

“I don’t care!” Dean argued, slamming the front door behind him.

Dean got in the car and sat in the driveway for a few minutes, fighting back the urge to cry. He’d never stop looking for Cas, even if he was gone for eighty years. He’d never stop looking. Sam wouldn’t either. He tried to be strong, but Dean knew it was tearing him apart, too. Dean stopped crying and pulled out of the driveway. He always liked to go to the graveyard when he was upset. His mother had good advice for him. She was dead, but her memory guided him. He hadn’t been there once yet.

Dean pulled into the parking lot for the graveyard. It was desolate and empty. It was never really busy except around holidays from what he’d seen, so this wasn’t strange. Dean slowly walked down the sidewalk parallel to the road to get to the actual gravesite. The parking was isolated from the yard except for handicap parking so it was a bit inconvenient, but he didn’t mind the walk. It gave him time to gather himself. Dean’s phone went off in his pocket and he stopped to check it. It was just a notification from one of his co-workers saying they haven’t heard anything new yet.

Dean put his phone away, but as he looked back up, he noticed something odd at the bus stop across the street. There was a splotchy, tan trench coat laying across the bench. The bus stop was enclosed and was shaded, but it looked a lot like Cas’s coat. It was just a pile of clothes there and was probably left there by someone, but some tiny part of Dean wondered. And if he never checked it out, he’d regret it forever. Dean waited for a break in the traffic and then ran across. He went into the bus stop and went up to the coat.

That’s when Dean realized that it was moving. Being careful not to wake whoever was underneath, Dean pulled the trench coat down and leaned over to person to see.

“Cas!” Dean yelled, grabbing him by the shoulder and turning him over, nearly pulling him off the bench. He was using the trench coat as a blanket which fell on the ground.

Cas was dirty and his clothes were dirty and torn a little and he had the starting of a beard growing. He was tired and disoriented and Dean couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Dean couldn’t even make proper words from out of his mouth. Dean just sat him up and sat on the bench next to him and hugged him, instantly breaking down crying.

“C–Cas are you okay?” Dean asked, cupping his dirtied face in his hands and looking at him. “What happened to you?”

“Dean…”

“Yeah.” Dean nodded and smiled at him, tears running down his cheeks. “Where were you?”

“A motel and then here,” Cas muttered.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked again, looking at him in concern.

Cas nodded slowly and Dean hugged him tightly again.

“What is wrong with you?” Dean groaned. “Why are you here? Why aren’t you home?”

“I have no home,” Cas stated.

“What?” Dean scoffed.

Cas shook his head. “You don’t want me. I can’t live there anymore.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean replied, cradling Cas’s face in his hands again. “What do you mean I don’t want you?”

“I did things, Dean,” Cas whispered. “You and Sam don’t want me anymore.”

“No!” Dean yelled. “I don’t care what you did or who you killed–”

“I didn’t kill anyone,” Cas stated.

“I don’t care what you did or didn’t do,” Dean said. “Sam and I both. We just want you home. We want you safe.”

“This is my home now,” Cas whimpered, starting to cry with Dean. “I’m going to miss you.”

“No, you’re fucking not!” Dean exclaimed, standing up and taking his hand. “You’re coming home. To our home. Home to all of us.”

“You don’t want me, I promise,” Cas replied. “I know you won’t.”

“I will always want you,” Dean breathed, trying to kiss him, but Cas wouldn’t let him.

“I’m dirty.”

“I don’t care about a little dirt,” Dean said.

“I don’t mean like that, but I suppose I’m probably dirty in that sense, too,” Cas mumbled. “But I’m dirty inside. I’m a bad person. I’m going to hell for sure.”

“No, Cas.” Dean shook his head. “You’re a good person and I love you. And you’re not going to hell.”

“Yes, I am,” Cas groaned, trying to pull away from him. “Let me stay here, Dean. Please?”

“No, come on,” Dean argued, pulling his arm. Dean pulled Cas into the street and began running to the center turning lane without traffic. “I’m not leaving here without you, Cas. I’m going to take you home and you’re going to be okay. And Sam and I are going to love you. And we’re still going to get married. And we’re still going to be a family and grow old and all those things we planned to do.”

“No we aren’t,” Cas whispered, cars passing on both sides of them. “I slept with someone else, Dean.”

Dean gave him a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I took her out back and I fucked her!”

Dean sighed at him and continued to hold his hand. “That’s okay. Just come home.”

“What?” Cas looked up at him.

“I love you. Come home, Cas,” Dean repeated. “Come home with me. Come home to Sam.”

“You should abandon me. You should hate me. I’m not worthy of your love, Dean,” Cas stated.

“I’m never going to abandon you. I’m never going to hate you. And I don’t care what you did, you always deserve to be loved,” Dean argued.

Cas shook his head and then let Dean grab him and hug him.

“I love you no matter what you did or who you fucked or what happened,” Dean said. “I just want you to come home. So come home, Cas. Please?”

Cas hesitantly hugged him back and Dean smiled into his neck.

“Okay?” Dean asked.

“Okay,” Cas whispered. “But when you want me to leave, I will.”

“You're not leaving again,” Dean said, taking his hand and jogging across the other two lanes.

“Don't make promises you won't want to keep,” Cas sighed, skulking beside Dean down the sidewalk.

* * *

Dean got home and quickly opened the door. “Sam! I found him!”

Sam came running down the stairs and stopped when he saw Cas and his dirty clothes standing behind Dean.

“Cas,” he breathed, lingering on the third step.

“Hello, Sam.”

Sam broke out in a grin and kept running, slamming into Cas in the entryway and hugging him. “Are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt? Where were you?”

“I cheated on you,” Cas mumbled, stepping back towards the door.

“What?” Sam laughed.

“I slept with another woman,” Cas muttered.

Dean and Sam exchanged glances and Dean shrugged.

“Cas, when was the last time you showered?” Dean asked, putting his hand on Cas's shoulder.

“A week ago.”

“Why don't you go clean up, then?” Dean said. “I'll wash your clothes and you can take a shower?”

Cas looked down at himself and sighed. “Fine. I smell.”

The three of them went upstairs and Cas got in the shower while Dean and Sam got his clothes ready to be washed or mended. Dean and Sam waited on the bed outside the shower for him.

“He slept with a woman?” Sam finally asked.

Dean shook his head. “I don't think so. I think he's trying to make us hate him for some reason.”

Sam sighed deeply. “What if he did though?”

“He didn't.”

“You can't be sure,” Sam replied.

“No, I can't. But Cas wouldn't sleep with a woman. He's painfully gay.” Dean muttered, looking towards the shower. “You okay in there, Cas?”

“I'm fine!" Cas yelled back from behind the door.

“Be right back,” Dean said to Sam, heading into the bathroom.

Dean walked in and left the door open behind him, going over to the sink.

Cas opened the shower door and poked his head out, hair matted across his face.

“Don't mind me,” Dean said, rifling through the cabinet underneath the sink.

“I'd never mind you,” Cas stated, blinking plainly at him.

“Rhetorical statement, babe,” Dean replied, taking a small leather bag out from under the sink and tucking it underneath his arm. He leaned back against the counter and looked at his partner. “I'm glad you're home. I missed you,”

“I missed you, too,” Cas muttered, ducking back into the shower.

“What's wrong?” Dean asked, getting off the counter and walking over to the shower.

“Nothing,” Cas said.

Dean shook his head and pushed the door open a little so he could see Cas again. “We’re not going to leave you, Cas.”

“Yes you are,” Cas stated.

“Listen to me,” Dean groaned, grabbing onto Cas and pulling him close to him. “We’re not going to kick you out. No matter what you did, or what you think you did, we’re not leaving you.”

“You should,” Cas said. “And I think you’re going to.”

“No!” Dean exclaimed, leaning into the shower and hugging him.

“You’re getting wet,” Cas whispered.

“I don’t care,” Dean replied, pulling back and holding Cas’s face in his hands. “I love you, Castiel. Sam loves you. And we’re not going to break up with you. We’re not going to kick you out. And we’re not going to hate you.”

Cas tried to pull away from him but Dean kept holding onto him.

“I love you,” Dean repeated.

“I love you, too,” Cas said quietly, licking his lip nervously.

“I know you do,” Dean replied, leaning in and kissing him. “I don’t like you this hairy though.”

“Me neither,” Cas stated, reaching up and touching the small beard that had started growing.

Dean let go of him and backed out of the stream of water. “Finish washing up. We’ll be out here.”

Cas nodded slowly and Dean shut the shower door, picking up the bag he’d dropped out of his arm and sitting back on the bed next to Sam.

“Why are you wet?” Sam asked. “What’d you do? Get in the shower with him?”

“Kindof,” Dean replied, unzipping the leather pouch in his lap.

“What’s that?”

“I’m gonna fix our boyfriend,” Dean stated, holding up a razor. “Or his face at least.”

“You’re going to shave him?” Sam snorted.

“Precisely,” Dean said. “I’ll need a bowl of water too, though, won’t I?”

“In bed?” Sam groaned, watching Dean hop back up.

“Oh, deal with it,” Dean drawled. “He’s been through a lot.”

Sam rolled his eyes and Dean left the room.

Dean came back as Cas was finishing up in the bathroom, the shower water now off. Dean set the bowl of water on the floor beside the bed, and sat back beside Sam. Cas came out of the bathroom with towel-dried messy hair and wearing one of Dean’s bathrobes.

Cas stood in front of them, staring silently.

“Come over here,” Dean said, patting the bed in front of him. Cas hesitantly approached the bed and sat in front of the two of them. “Why don’t you tell us what happened, Cas?”

“I was at a bar and I saw this woman and–”

“I don’t mean that,” Dean said. “Before all that. What happened?”

“I went to my parents’,” Dean stated.

Sam sighed deeply and Dean gave Cas a sympathetic look. “What happened with them?”

“I tried to tell them I was gay,” Cas replied. “But they didn’t believe me.”

“God, Cas, why’d you do that?” Dean groaned. “Why the hell would you do that?”

“Well, everything went so good at the dinner and I thought everyone would hate me, but they didn’t,” Cas explained. “So I thought that maybe my parents had changed, too and I was lying to them for nothing.”

“Jesus,” Dean breathed. “You should have known better.”

“I should have,” Cas muttered, Dean leaning off the side of the bed and putting the bowl of water in his lap. “What is that?”

“We’re going to mow the lawn,” Dean stated, pulling Cas’s razor from the bag.

“Now?” Cas asked, looking at Dean skeptically as he pulled the can of shaving cream out from the bag as well.

Dean nodded. “We’re gonna fix all this bullshit one step at a time. Starting with the atrocity on your face.”

“Okay,” Cas replied, shrugging.

“So what happened at your parents’ place?” Sam asked, Dean pointing the can towards his palm and spraying some cream onto his hand.

“They didn’t believe me,” Cas said. “So I finally showed them a video of us together. Remember that time that Dean stole all my shirts and wouldn’t give them back until I showed him my childhood photo album?”

“Oh yeah,” Dean sang, nodding at him.

“Well, I showed them that and they finally believed that I was gay and engaged to two other men,” Cas sighed, Dean beginning to rub all the shaving cream onto Cas’s face.

“Didn’t the two of you have sex on camera in that video?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Dean mused. “But you were the one who kept recording.”

“I didn’t show them that part,” Cas mumbled.

“What’d they say?” Dean asked.

“Mom cried and Dad broke a glass. They basically told me that I was the spawn of Satan and had no place going to church and was choosing to be a sinner,” Cas replied, Dean holding the razor in his hand. “They said in the same way one can choose to be a rapist, I can choose to be gay.”

“What is wrong with them?” Dean scoffed. “Raping someone and being gay are not the same thing.”

“It is to them, I guess,” Cas whispered, looking down at his lap. “They said they didn’t know what they did wrong to deserve a son like me.”

“God, I hate your family,” Dean sighed, dragging the razor down Cas’s cheek.

“They’re still my family,” Cas stated. “I thought they’d accept me.”

“They’re still _your_ family,” Dean said. “They’ll never accept anyone.”

“I know. I was stupid and I was naïve,” Cas replied.

“You shouldn’t have gone alone, either,” Sam added.

“I shouldn’t have,” Cas agreed. “None of this would have happened.”

“What actually happened?” Dean asked, sliding the razor down another patch of skin and then dipping it in the water in his lap.

“I was upset and I tried to call you guys, but Sam was doing his job and your phone was in the shop, so I was just alone and didn’t know what to do,” Cas said. “So I just left. I wanted to make my parents happy and I wanted to make God happy and I didn’t know what to do and I had no guidance so I just started walking until I couldn’t anymore.”

“God’s already happy with you,” Dean said, rubbing Cas’s shoulder and shaving another section of his beard.

“You don’t even believe in God,” Cas stated.

“I don’t.” Dean smiled at him. “If I did though, I know he’d be happy with everything you already do.”

“I doubt,” Cas mumbled.

“Keep going,” Sam said.

“Well, I finally stopped at this bar and I just wanted the pain to end so I drank a bunch of whiskey and then this girl came over to me and we started talking and she was flirting with me a lot and usually I don’t care one way or the other, but I was thinking about how my parents told me I could choose to be straight so I decided to choose and I–” Cas took a shaky breath and his eyes started welling up in tears. “–I took her out to the back and she had me hold her against the wall and–and I–I–I had sex with her.”

Cas started crying and Dean immediately set the razor and bowl of water back on the ground and hugged him.

“It’s okay,” Dean whispered. “You’re okay, Cas.”

“I didn’t even wear a condom,” Cas whimpered. “She told me she was clean but what if she wasn’t? What if I caught something?”

“We’ll get you tested,” Dean said, Cas smearing shaving cream all over his face and clothes as he consoled him.

“It was so gross, Dean. I’m a horrible person.”

“You’re not a horrible person,” Dean whispered, holding onto him. “You’re not horrible. Your parents are.”

“So, you actually _did_ sleep with a woman?” Sam asked.

“I did.” Cas nodded. “It was horrible. I kept thinking about you guys and then I realized how much I still loved you and how much I was going to hurt you guys so I just ran away.”

Dean rubbed Cas’s back with his hands as he held him. “It’s okay, Cas.”

“No, it’s not.” Cas shook his head in protest. “It’s not okay. I cheated on both of you and don’t deserve to be with you anymore. I’m dirty and I’m a slut.”

“No, you’re not!” Dean exclaimed, pushing him off him. “You weren’t clearheaded and you were upset and you weren’t in a good place. And that’s not your fault.”

“I wasn’t drunk, I was just tipsy,” Cas said. “I have no excuse.”

“Cas, you didn’t even want to be with that woman,” Dean replied. “Look at yourself right now. This is not how someone who cheated on their partner acts. You _forced_ yourself to be with her because your parents are manipulative, abusive, assholes.”

“No!” Cas yelled. “You’re supposed to hate me!”

“We don’t hate you,” Dean breathed. “We love you. No matter what your parents said and did.”

“It’s not my parents! It’s me!”

“Your parents have you all fucked up, Cas,” Dean stated. “And that’s not your fault. You believe what they tell you, but they tell you lies. Cas, you deserve love. You deserve happiness. You deserve to be with who you want without worrying that God is going to hate you for it.”

“I don’t understand,” Cas said quietly, looking between the both of them. “You don’t hate me?”

“We could never hate you,” Dean said. “I don’t hate you. I love you. And I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay with us. I still want to marry you. I still want to be your husband. I want you here. I want you home. I want you happy.”

“I don’t deserve that though.”

“Yes you do,” Dean replied, kissing him on the mouth. “You deserve the world.”

“What about you?” Cas pushed Dean away and looked at Sam, who looked less than pleased at the moment. “Do you hate me?”

“No.” Sam shook his head. “I don’t hate you. I’m just disappointed.”

“Disappointed?”

“You shouldn’t have gone to your parents. Not alone especially. You shouldn’t have listened to them. You shouldn’t have cared.” Sam stated.

“Sam,” Dean snapped. “They’re his parents.”

Dean gave Sam an angry look and Sam looked back at Cas.

“I’m sorry. I’ll leave if you want,” Cas said.

“No.” Sam shook his head. “I want you here with us. I still love you. I don’t want you out on the streets or alone. I want you where you’re safe and where you’re happy.”

“But you don’t still want to be with me?” Cas asked.

“No, I want to be with you, Cas. I do,” Sam stated. “But you have to go to therapy first.”

“What?” Dean and Cas both replied.

“Go to therapy, Cas,” Sam said. “You need it. You’ve got a lot of problems and Dean and I can only help with so much.”

“We didn’t discuss this,” Dean stated.

“We shouldn’t have to,” Sam argued. “He’s sitting here with half a beard and shaving cream all over you because he forced himself to sleep with a woman after his parents yelled at him. He needs help.”

“I do.” Cas nodded. “I’ll go to therapy if you want me to.”

“You will?”

“Yes,” Cas stated. “Whatever you want.”

“Okay,” Sam sighed, smiling at him. “Welcome home, Cas.”


	11. Chapter 11

Sam, Cas, and Dean sat together on the sofa against the side of the room, none of them quite sure what to expect.

The door opened and a tall woman entered, clipboard in hand. “Hi.” She smiled warmly at both of them as she set the board down on her desk. “I’m Doctor Holley. Which one of you is my patient today?”

Cas looked up at her.

“Castiel, right?” she asked.

“Everyone calls me Cas,” he stated.

“Okay. Hello, Cas.” She stuck her hand out and he shook it. “You know, it’s not very encouraged for patients to bring their friends along. It seems like a good idea but it often makes things difficult because they’re more worried about how they appear than sharing feelings around them.”

“Sam and Dean aren’t my friends,” Cas replied, looking between the two of them. “I don’t know where we really fall at this point…”

Dean put his arm around Cas’s shoulder and smiled at him and then looked up at the doctor taking a seat in front of them. “Sam and I are Cas’s life partners.”

Dean kissed the top of Cas’s head, keeping his arm around him.

“Oh,” she hummed. “Okay. That’s different.”

“We’re getting married,” Cas said, holding up his hand. “Or we were.”

“We _are_ ,” Dean assured him.

“So why are you here today?” Dr Holley asked. “It sounds like something happened.”

“It did,” Cas sighed. “I wouldn’t be the best person to explain.”

“Yes, you would,” Sam said. “You’re the one that needs the therapy, Cas.”

Cas took a deep breath and put his hands in his lap. “I guess we can start from the beginning then.”

“That’s a good place to start,” the doctor said.

“Well, three to four years ago, I was at the grocery store and I saw Dean there, wearing a shirt from the concert tour my favorite band just did. So, I decided to strike up a conversation and see if he was a fan, too.” Cas started, smiling up at Dean. “He wasn’t. He just bought the shirt from GoodWill, but he asked me out anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it. My short, no plot, casual, not depressing on-time, Valentine's Day read. Wait, it was none of that. Fuck.

**Author's Note:**

> Like all my stuff, this is going to mostly revolve around wetting and what not, but if there's anything else (including what was mentioned) you want to see in there, just let me know and I'll try and swing it. Change is good, change is fun.


End file.
